Question for Catholics and Baptists

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I am Catholic. I have always been Catholic. A few years ago my brother married his 2nd wife who is the daughter to a Baptist minister. He has never really practiced the Catholic faith as an adult (attended church a couple of times). He is now convinced by his new family that his own Catholic family are all sinners and are going to hell for the fact that we are Catholic. He has not openly discussed this with us but his children have. When asked about it he is evasive to some extent but concedes that yes, Catholics are wrong for their way of worship and not true Christians. His children are upset because they have been told that my children are going to hell. What can I do to try to keep peace? Although he nor his new wife will not say anything everytime we are around his children we hear from them how wrong we are and that we are not saved. It has gone so far that my niece who is 13 tells my 14 yr old son that we are stupid for what we believe. My family has always been close and I don’t know how to deal with this. I’ve asked my brother to please help me keep peace and not judge our faith. No results.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
Pray! I will say a prayer for you. Ask St. Monica and St. Patrick to pray that your brother and his in-laws have a conversion of heart towards our Lord’s Church. Make sure you educate yourself and especially your kids in our beautiful faith. Don’t let their accusations about the Catholic Church go unchallenged. Tell your kids the truth about the Church and try not to let your brother and his in-laws confuse your children.
 
I agree with the first response. Pray. Pray for guidance. To sever ties with a family member is not something I can fathom, but I also cannot understand teaching one’s own children that it is ok to tell their cousins that they will be going to hell. Are they God? Do they sit in judgment? I’m stunned…and so sorry that you have to go through this.

Keep your own heart open.
 
First of all, are they Independent Baptist or Southern Baptist because there is a considerable difference in the two? Independent Baptists are much more conservative and legalistic than Southern Baptists (if you can believe that! lol) Thus independent Baptists will be a little “harder” to tame.
I was raised Southern Baptist and went to a private Baptist College so I know what you are dealing with. There are not very many people, Catholic or Baptist, who are graciously open to truly loving another who belongs to a different faith. (I know that first hand as my teenagers and I have experienced rejection from people who are Catholic over this past year.) I think this stems from insecurity. During college I went to Mass with a friend at a small Catholic University to get to know his faith better and in turn I bacame friends with several of the students as well as one of the monks. My friends at the Baptist college were astounded that I would go to the Catholic school and “socialize” but I knew this is what it means to accept one another as Christ accepts us. The monk I became friends with even asked me to attend the first on-campus bible study which he was starting. I say all this because people have a tendency to be closed minded about others’ faiths due to never being brave enough to venture out of the security of what they have always known. I doubt the words used by your 13 year old niece are the words the family uses, she has just become defensive about her faith due to her age. (At least I hope that is the case.) I would continue the dialogue with your brother and his wife explaining how it has affected and upset your kids. Keep talking to your own children and try to remain loving in your tone when you discuss this issue with them. You will probably have to call a verbal truece when it comes to discussing religion. We did in my husband’s family. His dad was Agnostic. No prayers ever said. No religion ever discussed. At least you both have the common ground of faith in Christ to hold you together. 🙂 Just focus on that. Peace and Blessings.
 
Thank you for your response. Maybe in some way this adversity has been a blessing. Although I attend church every Sunday being a cradle Catholic you can still take the wonders of our faith for granted. I’ve started to do a lot of research both Baptist beliefs (to be fair) and Catholic history. I’ve never felt stronger about my Catholic faith. My children too have been energized about their faith. Not all bad has obviously come from this but painful nonetheless. Thank you for your prayers. I too will continue to pray.

In Christs Love,
Jeannie
 
Pokedaughter, Thank you for your response. I believe that they are independant Baptists. Although I was raised Catholic I attended my friends non Catholic churches with them at times. My husband was raised Nazarene. Maybe it’s the area I live in, I don’t know, but I was never made to believe that any other denomination was not Christian. I am 34 yrs old and have never been told in church or otherwise that someone else was going to hell for not being Catholic or even that they were wrong. To the contrary, we’ve been told (during Mass) that what matters is that we are all Christians.
I have talked to my brother and asked that we all just respect each others differences. As I said the adults remain silent but the Baptist children feel it is their duty to “witness” and try to change our hearts or at least the hearts of their cousins, or they are not doing the right thing.
 
JeannieRN said:
As I said the adults remain silent but the Baptist children feel it is their duty to “witness” and try to change our hearts or at least the hearts of their cousins, or they are not doing the right thing.
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In a sense, they are doing the right thing…just the wrong way. If they truly believe in their church, then it is an obligation to try to bring others into that “truth”. We as Catholics should be doing the same thing when given the opportunity. I find their tactical use of “going to hell” very wrong though. Like others have mentioned, no one on earth is to determine our eternal fate, that is God’s dominion. I do, however, respect the amount of zeal they have for their faith. They are just on the wrong side of the fence is all. That is not meant as shot at Baptists…just a statement of my belief. Heck, if I didn’t believe that, then I shouldn’t be on the side of the fence that I’m on! 🙂
 
On a positive note: I believe God will use this experience in a wonderful way for your children. So many times we go about our lives and just “do” the religion we are born into without really seeking out God’s truths. I think God is calling all of us to “work out our salvation” and examine the faith we say we believe. This will give your children the opportunity to do this when they become older and it will also teach them to be gracious, loving, tolerant, and accepting of others because they know how if feels to be treated in the opposite way.

Just remind your family that you still hold to the fundamental truth of John 3:16. The same foundation as their faith.
🙂
 
JeannieRN said:
I am Catholic. I have always been Catholic. A few years ago my brother married his 2nd wife who is the daughter to a Baptist minister. He has never really practiced the Catholic faith as an adult (attended church a couple of times). He is now convinced by his new family that his own Catholic family are all sinners and are going to hell for the fact that we are Catholic. He has not openly discussed this with us but his children have. When asked about it he is evasive to some extent but concedes that yes, Catholics are wrong for their way of worship and not true Christians. His children are upset because they have been told that my children are going to hell. What can I do to try to keep peace? Although he nor his new wife will not say anything everytime we are around his children we hear from them how wrong we are and that we are not saved. It has gone so far that my niece who is 13 tells my 14 yr old son that we are stupid for what we believe. My family has always been close and I don’t know how to deal with this. I’ve asked my brother to please help me keep peace and not judge our faith. No results.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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their tactic is dangerous and has led many catholics out of the church. just this sunday at my friend’s house this young girl was sent to a so called christian school, now this girl tells me “sorry i am not a catolic i am a christian.” it caught me by surprise. my advise is try to stay close to your brother as much as you can and explain to your children the truths abouth our faith and make sure they understand what we believe and why we believe it. show them quotes from the Fathers of our church about our church, Eucharist, purgatory, good works, Mary, Pope, baptism and so on. that they may be able to stand firm on their faith. you may want to quotes things like that to your brother too once and while, when you guys are alone. dont try to show that you know everything. just that you found these quotes from the early christians.and what he thinks of that.

Our Lord be with you always on this battle.
 
JeannieRN said:
I am Catholic. I have always been Catholic. A few years ago my brother married his 2nd wife who is the daughter to a Baptist minister. He has never really practiced the Catholic faith as an adult (attended church a couple of times). He is now convinced by his new family that his own Catholic family are all sinners and are going to hell for the fact that we are Catholic. He has not openly discussed this with us but his children have. When asked about it he is evasive to some extent but concedes that yes, Catholics are wrong for their way of worship and not true Christians. His children are upset because they have been told that my children are going to hell. What can I do to try to keep peace? Although he nor his new wife will not say anything everytime we are around his children we hear from them how wrong we are and that we are not saved. It has gone so far that my niece who is 13 tells my 14 yr old son that we are stupid for what we believe. My family has always been close and I don’t know how to deal with this. I’ve asked my brother to please help me keep peace and not judge our faith. No results.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Since Baptist usually believe in Sola Scriptura i.e. the Bible you might want to ask him what passage or verses leads him to think that catholics are going to hell for being catholics. You might want to point him to I Corinthians 15:1-4 and Romans 10:9-10 and ask him if a person truly believes this will they go to hell even if they are a catholic or pentecostal or other Christian church that does not believe everything a Baptist does? Secondly, ask: can a person go to heaven if after he believes in Christ as these passages say and still have false beliefs? In other words will false beliefs keep a person out of heaven?
 
It won’t matter how many scriptures you quote and discuss with someone because each religion interprets the scriptures differently. I have read all the scriptures the Catholic Church states to support each of its beliefs and have a differing opinion on many of them. ie Jesus built His church not on Peter specifically but on Peter’s faith (since he screwed up just like all of us and yet **he and we **still get to fellowship with The Father, or when Christ talks about “his body and blood”; in prayer, God has shown me personally, that for me, everything Christ presented in physical form has spiritual meaning not physical since I have been “crucified in Christ” and thus everything I do “feeds” into my spiritual being and not my physical being. And many others (Christ is my Good Shepherd not the Pope, Christ is my intercessor not a Priest, I am the Bride of Christ not a church. I live under the authority of God and not a Church Government.) I guess you see where I am going with this. So debating is good only in the absence of negative feelings. Mutual respect is necessary otherwise all each person will hear is “wah wah wah” lol.
 
My prayers will now be with you in this adversity that you are living with. I am married to a Baptist wife who was raised to misunderstand many things about our faith. Pray, Pray, Pray, as the causitive action that will start to change this difficult circumstance rest with God (It’s easy to forget this!). This is a cross that holds the possibility of great blessing for your family especailly your children. From my experience I would recommend the following: Start with first things first. Your first responsibility is to your husband and children. Use this as a way to teach your children how well grounded our faith is in the Bible and Historic Christianity especially the Church fathers. Teach them the value of getting to the heart of such acusations. Teach them to value Truth and that they will be challenged in life in there beliefs and they must pursue Truth not be tossed in the wind. Show them that a reasoned examination of any of these topics unfolds the beauty of the Catholic faith. I have grown in my faith tremendously sense I encountered trials not too unsimiliar to your own. In time God will open up windows to dialogue with your brother. Try to be patient and humble as this is how God will be able to work through you to bring much good from this adversity. I truly believe that if you embrace this cross the blessings over time will be invaluable for you and your those that you love. I will pray for you, you are not alone! -wm.
 
JeannieRN said:
I am Catholic. I have always been Catholic. A few years ago my brother married his 2nd wife who is the daughter to a Baptist minister. He has never really practiced the Catholic faith as an adult (attended church a couple of times). He is now convinced by his new family that his own Catholic family are all sinners and are going to hell for the fact that we are Catholic. He has not openly discussed this with us but his children have. When asked about it he is evasive to some extent but concedes that yes, Catholics are wrong for their way of worship and not true Christians. His children are upset because they have been told that my children are going to hell. What can I do to try to keep peace? Although he nor his new wife will not say anything everytime we are around his children we hear from them how wrong we are and that we are not saved. It has gone so far that my niece who is 13 tells my 14 yr old son that we are stupid for what we believe. My family has always been close and I don’t know how to deal with this. I’ve asked my brother to please help me keep peace and not judge our faith. No results.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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What is so sad in all this is that your brother and his wife are using their own children to do the filthy work of judging your family. I would tell them right out in the open that all of you are practicing Catholic Christians, that you believe in the same God that they do, that Christ is the center of your lives, and you would appreciate it if it is no longer discussed among you to keep peace in the family, and to instruct their own children to do the same.
 
peary said:
What is so sad in all this is that your brother and his wife are using their own children to do the filthy work of judging your family. I would tell them right out in the open that all of you are practicing Catholic Christians, that you believe in the same God that they do, that Christ is the center of your lives, and you would appreciate it if it is no longer discussed among you to keep peace in the family, and to instruct their own children to do the same.
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It depends on what the children are being taught by their church. If it is their church that teaches that all Catholics will go to hell because of their faith, then all these children are doing is trying to save you by warning you of your fate (as perceived by their faith). Not much different than the “fire and brimstone” priests we have. If they haven’t been taught this, then they are being judgemental.

I don’t think it is necessarily right to just try to sweep the topic under the rug, so to speak. If we as Catholics believe that our Church is THE one true Church (which we hopefully do), then we should be trying to assist our Shepherd in returning these lost flocks back to the fold. One side or the other in the equation is going down the wrong path and if we love them, we don’t want them going down the wrong path, especially when it concerns something of utmost importance, our eternal souls.
 
rstegeman said:
It depends on what the children are being taught by their church. If it is their church that teaches that all Catholics will go to hell because of their faith, then all these children are doing is trying to save you by warning you of your fate (as perceived by their faith). Not much different than the “fire and brimstone” priests we have. If they haven’t been taught this, then they are being judgemental.

I don’t think it is necessarily right to just try to sweep the topic under the rug, so to speak. If we as Catholics believe that our Church is THE one true Church (which we hopefully do), then we should be trying to assist our Shepherd in returning these lost flocks back to the fold. One side or the other in the equation is going down the wrong path and if we love them, we don’t want them going down the wrong path, especially when it concerns something of utmost importance, our eternal souls.
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A word to the wise: two things one never discusses at the dinner table with relatives are religion and politics. It is better to be upfront about one’s uncomfortableness and set limits on family members than to have them be ostracized all together. God will take care of their eternal souls.
 
find their tactical use of “going to hell” very wrong though. Like others have mentioned, no one on earth is to determine our eternal fate, that is God’s dominion.
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Fundies love to play God. I praise you patience, I would send them to Hell myself and cut all relationship with them. Even if they are family.
 
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