Question for Deacons

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Thank you so much for the advice.

Interestingly, I find that this past two weeks as I’m considering that all-important step you mentioned, I seem to be on the enemy’s list for extra attention.

I’m not getting much sleep, having strange nightmares. I find many temptations are intensified, even regarding things I left behind years ago, like booze. I’m having dreams of college parties with sexual temptations everywhere. And that’s when I have prayed and watched EWTN before bed!

I’m praying every day, staying close to the sacraments- just went to confession Saturday. I read my Bible and other good books every day. Still I feel spiritually “beat up.”

I think I will call my deacon friend tomorrow…
 
There you go–take that step and the rest will follow. I pray for you.
 
Dodge_pursuit said:
Thank you so much for the advice.

Interestingly, I find that this past two weeks as I’m considering that all-important step you mentioned, I seem to be on the enemy’s list for extra attention.

I’m not getting much sleep, having strange nightmares. I find many temptations are intensified, even regarding things I left behind years ago, like booze. I’m having dreams of college parties with sexual temptations everywhere. And that’s when I have prayed and watched EWTN before bed!

I’m praying every day, staying close to the sacraments- just went to confession Saturday. I read my Bible and other good books every day. Still I feel spiritually “beat up.”

I think I will call my deacon friend tomorrow…
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Welcome to the club! When a person moves closer to making a decision to follow God’s will, spiritual warfare breaks out. Look at it this way, if you are on the sidelines and not in the game there will be no hits coming your way; but as soon as you get off the bench the enemy attacks.
 
Dodge_pursuit said:
Thank you so much for the advice.

Interestingly, I find that this past two weeks as I’m considering that all-important step you mentioned, I seem to be on the enemy’s list for extra attention.

I’m not getting much sleep, having strange nightmares. I find many temptations are intensified, even regarding things I left behind years ago, like booze. I’m having dreams of college parties with sexual temptations everywhere. And that’s when I have prayed and watched EWTN before bed!

I’m praying every day, staying close to the sacraments- just went to confession Saturday. I read my Bible and other good books every day. Still I feel spiritually “beat up.”

I think I will call my deacon friend tomorrow…
Click to expand...
👍
 
Lapey said:
Welcome to the club! When a person moves closer to making a decision to follow God’s will, spiritual warfare breaks out. Look at it this way, if you are on the sidelines and not in the game there will be no hits coming your way; but as soon as you get off the bench the enemy attacks.
Click to expand...
Indeed!

I’ve noticed in the past, in various ministries, a few attacks would land right before or during a time of harvest or decision. I often reminded myself of Saint John Vianney, who wrote that the enemy would often rattle his cage right before he was gonna reel in a “big fish.” It led me to conclude that while our enemy is not almighty, he does seem to see ripples in the water that tip him off to spiritual activity that our eyes don’t see.

I’m not the bench type. 😉

Thanks again for the kind words and prayers.
 
I saw our deacon the other day and told him I needed to talk. We planned to chat at a church function the next day but it didn’t work out, so I will do it this week. But in the meantime, I received such a great blessing I had to share it with those who have encouraged me in this thread.

The priest with whom I spoke three years ago when I first began to think I was called to the priesthood but had “missed” it, unexpectedly dropped by.

We spoke for a few minutes and I told him what was going on. He remembered what I shared with him back then. I told him how I was concerned about any chance that I might see the diaconate as a “step closer to priesthood” and so had been praying for clarity before taking the next step.

He looked me in the eye and said, “This doesn’t surprise me a bit. You would make a terrific deacon.” Then, with a few short words, he put my fears to rest. “You know there are lots of ways your gifts could be put to use as a deacon,” he said. “And you have no idea what God may have planned for you in the future.”

All of a sudden I have peace about it. Thank you Jesus.
 
I, for one, am pleased to hear of your progress Dodge Pursuit. We pray a special prayer for vocations every day in my parish after mass and the rosary. I think of you and others (I include myself too) each time I pray it. It is a prayer that speaks of the need for priests, sisters, brothers, deacons and lay ministers being needed for the harvest. Carry on the good work in furtherance of your call! Blessings.
 
**I took a step! ** :dancing:

After more prayer, a few doubts began to surface, regarding the application process, my wife, and more. I began to move away from the idea, telling myself it was a bad idea.

Then the attacks intensified- all kinds of temptations out of nowhere.

I woke up one morning and had what I would call a “tantrum.” Like a spoiled brat, I went before the tabernacle in the church where I was baptized and let it all out. I said “That’s it Lord, I quit. Maybe I shouldn’t even be a lay minister!” That night, I was in utter darkness, like the color had run out of life.

Well, my rebellion lasted 24 hours.

The next day, I was scheduled to conduct the communion service at a nursing home. I got started, as usual, and immediately started feeling that kind of “alive” that I only feel when ministering to folks. At the point when I lifted the host to say, “Behold the Lamb of God” my heart melted.

It was as if the Lord looked right at me and said, “Are we done? Can we get back to work now son?” I said “Yes Lord,” under my breath.

I realized my uncertainty, even regarding valid concerns, was becoming just a fancy way of saying “no.”

Today, following another communion service, I saw our deacon in the sacristy. I told him I’m ready to take the first step- I want to say “yes,” to whatever the Lord has in mind.

He was very happy to hear the news. He explained that the next step is to sit with our pastor and seek his approval to start the ball rolling. I can’t wait.

Thanks for all the prayers. Here we go…
 
Dodge_pursuit said:
**I took a step! ** :dancing:

After more prayer, a few doubts began to surface, regarding the application process, my wife, and more. I began to move away from the idea, telling myself it was a bad idea.

Then the attacks intensified- all kinds of temptations out of nowhere.

I woke up one morning and had what I would call a “tantrum.” Like a spoiled brat, I went before the tabernacle in the church where I was baptized and let it all out. I said “That’s it Lord, I quit. Maybe I shouldn’t even be a lay minister!” That night, I was in utter darkness, like the color had run out of life.

Well, my rebellion lasted 24 hours.

The next day, I was scheduled to conduct the communion service at a nursing home. I got started, as usual, and immediately started feeling that kind of “alive” that I only feel when ministering to folks. At the point when I lifted the host to say, “Behold the Lamb of God” my heart melted.

It was as if the Lord looked right at me and said, “Are we done? Can we get back to work now son?” I said “Yes Lord,” under my breath.

I realized my uncertainty, even regarding valid concerns, was becoming just a fancy way of saying “no.”

Today, following another communion service, I saw our deacon in the sacristy. I told him I’m ready to take the first step- I want to say “yes,” to whatever the Lord has in mind.

He was very happy to hear the news. He explained that the next step is to sit with our pastor and seek his approval to start the ball rolling. I can’t wait.

Thanks for all the prayers. Here we go…
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Fabulous news, Dodge pursuit! There is nothing-nothing whatsoever–lost , only gained, in taking the next few steps. What might happen? You end up discerning that the diaconate is not your calling for whatever reason. The what? You have your marriage and your lay ministry. Either way, you are helping the LORD in his vineyard. Blessings and happy epiphany!
 
Praise God.

I just got back from the meeting with my pastor. He essentially said, “I was expecting you.”

We had a good, long talk about my life and why I believe I have a call.

He said he will be happy to support me any way he can and sent me home with a list of names and phone numbers for the appropriate vocations people at the seminary.

I know nothing is certain until and if the bishop calls you to ordination some day. But it feels awesome to have actually taken that step to stop discerning “in a bubble” and say “YES” out loud.

Next stop, call the seminary! 😃
 
Wonderful to hear, Dodge pursuit! Praise be to God! Keep us posted as you walk the journey. 👍
 
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