Question for (especially older) married people

[Cat]

Our 31st wedding anniversary will be June 16. Before we were married, we dated for 6 years (but we were virgins when we married!). So we’ve been together a looooong time!

I agree with all the other “older” married people so far. (Ouch, that hurts!)

I just want to add a word about “sexual passion.” In this day and age, many young people equate “love” with “sexual passion.” They are craving each other while they’re young and unmarried and there’s “danger”–the danger of sinning, the danger of getting caught, etc. Danger is exciting!

But once they’re married and it’s permissible to have as much sex as they wish, they find that they aren’t interested anymore. Sometimes interest in sex wanes because they gain weight after a baby is born, or the trials of this life take their toll on the beautiful or handsome face, or the desk jobs that earn great salaries also mean 12 hours a day of inactivity and no time to work out.

So all too often, young couples assume that because they aren’t panting for each other anymore, that they have “fallen out of love.” NOT TRUE!

A young couple simply has to learn to re-ignite passion and sexual interest throughout their marriage. I would like to assure young couples that it IS possible for a couple to learn to stay very interested in each other sexually in spite of weight gain, health problems, money woes, children/teenagers, exhaustion, etc. Sex does not have to come to an end just because a couple is “older” (or poorer, or fatter, or grayer, or busier!).

 

[Sherry_G]

I subscribe to a magazine called the WORD among us. This months issue for June has five really good articles about Marriage. I found them to be very helpful and inspiring. You can look up the magazine online at www.wau.org. Aside from having all the daily Mass readings and meditations, there are always very good articles or feature stories as well from a Catholic perspective. June’s focus is on marriage!

 

[Janechantal53]

Sometimes we fell out of the “in love” feeling but never out of love. I’ve learned that if the feeling goes it will return if you wait long enough… In my darkest moments when I didn’t feel like keeping my promises to my husband I remembered that I promised God and that always brought me back to where I needed to be!

 

[Musician]

The white-hot heat of passion may fade a bit, but love is a verb. You choose to love your mate whether you feel it or not. Sooner or later the exciting feelings come back, if you fan the flames enough!

 

[flyfisher]

I remember an older man celebrating 50 years of marriage being asked what his secret was. He said, “Every day, I look in the mirror and tell myself, ‘Well, you’re not exactly a prize, either!’”

He was funny, but there is a lot of truth to what he said. You may not always have emotional highs, but you can always decide to be grateful. The daily decision in favor of gratitude is a big help to the daily decision to love.

That, and be willing to apologize when you’re wrong, even when your spouse is more wrong than you are. Not being too proud to apologize first helps alot. Not keeping score over who gave in first last time. There are a lot of little habits like that, just ways of being generous.

:thumbsup:AMEN After fifty five years the mirror doesn’t lie

 

[crohnie4life]

DH & I have been married for 13 yrs. this October. What keeps our marriage together is making sure that Christ is the center of our union daily, going to mass together, praying together, putting each other first above self, and not taking each other for granted ever.

Also, a sense of humor doesn’t hurt because during the tough times (I have some serious illnesses where I’ve had to be hospitalized & DH had to take over the chores on top of working FT) this is where your faith is tested as well as patience.

I think of it not just as a journey for the both of us but as an adventure seeing as I never know what’s going to happen next. lol