Question for ex-JWs

[momin2008]

ok - a little background first…

I am a Catholic who is married to a non-practicing JW. He left the JWs before we met but never really participated in birthdays, holidays, etc. until he met me. We were married in the Catholic Church and are raising our 1 year old daughter Catholic. His family (particularly his mother and oldest sister) are devout JWs and has 2 other sisters. One who I refer to as the slacker JW (she claims to be JW but is okay with her and her 2 children, who both have different fathers, living with her boyfriend - who is not the boys’ father) and another sister who is also non-practicing.

I have always felt, from the beginning, that his oldest sister isn’t very fond of me. That is her prerogative and I have no problem with that but I am concerned about her influence on my daughter. On 2 separate occasions while we have been visiting the family, the oldest sister has managed to get my daughter alone in her room with the door closed. Once, when they were visiting our home, she tried to get my daughter alone but I was able to head her off. I’m sure that she isn’t hurting my child and is probably just praying over her heathen Catholic soul but I am now extra cautious and watching to make sure she doesn’t spend any unsupervised time with my daughter. I know that she has also asked the JWs from the local Kingdom Hall (which is just down the street) to visit our home regularly. I never answer the door when they come (because I don’t trust myself to be civil) and I have seen them only come to our house and only during the week when my husband is at work. Most recently, the slacker sister has been asking to babysit at her home and I know it’s so that the oldest sister can spend time with my daughter without my being there. I know, because the one previous time the slacker kept her, the oldest “dropped by” for a visit. I should also add, the oldest sister rarely comes to visit even though she doesn’t have a job and I stay at home with our daughter.

My question is, is there some JW prayer or ritual that she may be trying to pull and am I wrong to try and keep my daughter away them unattended? Certainly when she is older and starts to understand the differences between religions, I will be extra diligent about making sure they don’t influence her with JW propaganda. But right now, I’m just trying to avoid what may be an inevitable family feud.

I apologize for this post being so long, but I’m looking for some non-biased opinions. thanks!

 

[ricko]

Who knows what is going on behind that closed door? The sister has no right to have your daughter in a closed room. If your husband doesn’t know about this you should talk with him about it. That would be the beginning. See what happens then.

As far as the JWs coming to your house, you should answer the door and firmly tell them that they are not to come on to your property any more. That sets the stage legally to charge them with trespass if they come back.

Your husband should nip this in the bud immediately.

 

[oneGODoneCHURCH]

ok - a little background first…

I am a Catholic who is married to a non-practicing JW. He left the JWs before we met but never really participated in birthdays, holidays, etc. until he met me. We were married in the Catholic Church and are raising our 1 year old daughter Catholic. His family (particularly his mother and oldest sister) are devout JWs and has 2 other sisters. One who I refer to as the slacker JW (she claims to be JW but is okay with her and her 2 children, who both have different fathers, living with her boyfriend - who is not the boys’ father) and another sister who is also non-practicing.

I have always felt, from the beginning, that his oldest sister isn’t very fond of me. That is her prerogative and I have no problem with that but I am concerned about her influence on my daughter. On 2 separate occasions while we have been visiting the family, the oldest sister has managed to get my daughter alone in her room with the door closed. Once, when they were visiting our home, she tried to get my daughter alone but I was able to head her off. I’m sure that she isn’t hurting my child and is probably just praying over her heathen Catholic soul but I am now extra cautious and watching to make sure she doesn’t spend any unsupervised time with my daughter. I know that she has also asked the JWs from the local Kingdom Hall (which is just down the street) to visit our home regularly. I never answer the door when they come (because I don’t trust myself to be civil) and I have seen them only come to our house and only during the week when my husband is at work. Most recently, the slacker sister has been asking to babysit at her home and I know it’s so that the oldest sister can spend time with my daughter without my being there. I know, because the one previous time the slacker kept her, the oldest “dropped by” for a visit. I should also add, the oldest sister rarely comes to visit even though she doesn’t have a job and I stay at home with our daughter.

My question is, is there some JW prayer or ritual that she may be trying to pull and am I wrong to try and keep my daughter away them unattended? Certainly when she is older and starts to understand the differences between religions, I will be extra diligent about making sure they don’t influence her with JW propaganda. But right now, I’m just trying to avoid what may be an inevitable family feud.

I apologize for this post being so long, but I’m looking for some non-biased opinions. thanks!

to my knowledge the JW really dont have any rituals. or much of a worship service for that matter their meetings are mostly study of watch tower material and how to get converts.

I would be sure and keep her away from your daughter as far as being alone as you have no idea what she is saying to her and the mind of a small child can be easily mis-directed I would say she is trig to lay the ground work for conversion. for when she is old enough to make the choice. Do let bad sees be planted.

 

[kitafraya]

Absolutely do not let your daughter in a closed room with your sister-in-law. You do not know what she is doing. You do need to talk with your husband and make sure he knows what is going on. There is no way I would even let my 10 year old alone in a closed room with an adult. They are too young at this age to know the difference too many seeds can be planted at this age.

It is just wrong for any adult to be in a closed room with a young child. Too many questions of what could be going on in there - just a bad idea all around.

Like you said, I can understand learning about other religions but that needs to be when we are a older and stronger in our own faith so that we are not pulled away from our faith.

 

[momin2008]

Thanks to everyone for your responses. I appreciate everyone’s opinions and it just confirmed what I’ve been thinking. I’ve already taken steps to make sure she doesn’t spend any time with my daughter alone (i.e. not allowing them to babysit) and I’m gearing myself up to have the conversation with my husband. I know that he will support me, but I also know that it’s going to be putting him in an awkward place with his family.

 

[Uknowhoo]

Momin2008,

Hi there. You know, this is weird but I too, am dating a non- practicing a JW (who now considers himself Christian:thumbsup, has a mom and two sisters- the eldest one a very devout JW, mom and other sister not as much. I also wonder how we’re gonna raise our children, since were planning on getting married within a few years. I know his family will do anything to bring him back, convert me, and our kids. It’s really scary thinking about it…

… and believe me, I think about it a lot. In my opinion, talking to your SIL won’t be much use. Just be nice and genuinely friendly as you can.Talk to your husband and inform him of what’s going on. Have you two come to an agreement about how your children will be raised? If so, your hubby should be doing his part. If not, agree on something now before problems arise. And like I mentioned, just be nice toward your SIL and keep your daughter at a safe distant. I’m not saying JWs are evil or anything, but you know they can be very insistent

Hope all gets better & God bless you!

 

[Soutane]

Momin2008,

Hi there. You know, this is weird but I too, am dating a non- practicing a JW (who now considers himself Christian:thumbsup, has a mom and two sisters- the eldest one a very devout JW, mom and other sister not as much. I also wonder how we’re gonna raise our children, since were planning on getting married within a few years. I know his family will do anything to bring him back, convert me, and our kids. It’s really scary thinking about it…

… and believe me, I think about it a lot. In my opinion, talking to your SIL won’t be much use. Just be nice and genuinely friendly as you can.Talk to your husband and inform him of what’s going on. Have you two come to an agreement about how your children will be raised? If so, your hubby should be doing his part. If not, agree on something now before problems arise. And like I mentioned, just be nice toward your SIL and keep your daughter at a safe distant. I’m not saying JWs are evil or anything, but you know they can be very insistent

Hope all gets better & God bless you!

" I also wonder how we’re gonna raise our children, since were planning on getting married within a few years".
As a Catholic you are BOUND to raise your children Catholic.No ifs ands or buts…you MUST raise them in the Faith.You had better discuss this with your prospective husband and secure his agreement or DO NOT marry him.You shouldn’t be "wondering"about anything.

 

[Uknowhoo]

Soutane-

Oh, I know that.

What I was trying to say is I don’t know how we’re going to deal with my bf’s family. I know they will make it their life mission to have our family converted my prospective SIL already strongly dislikes me!

 

[Catholic_Dude]

ok - a little background first…

I am a Catholic who is married to a non-practicing JW. He left the JWs before we met but never really participated in birthdays, holidays, etc. until he met me. We were married in the Catholic Church and are raising our 1 year old daughter Catholic. His family (particularly his mother and oldest sister) are devout JWs and has 2 other sisters. One who I refer to as the slacker JW (she claims to be JW but is okay with her and her 2 children, who both have different fathers, living with her boyfriend - who is not the boys’ father) and another sister who is also non-practicing.

I have always felt, from the beginning, that his oldest sister isn’t very fond of me. That is her prerogative and I have no problem with that but I am concerned about her influence on my daughter. On 2 separate occasions while we have been visiting the family, the oldest sister has managed to get my daughter alone in her room with the door closed. Once, when they were visiting our home, she tried to get my daughter alone but I was able to head her off. I’m sure that she isn’t hurting my child and is probably just praying over her heathen Catholic soul but I am now extra cautious and watching to make sure she doesn’t spend any unsupervised time with my daughter. I know that she has also asked the JWs from the local Kingdom Hall (which is just down the street) to visit our home regularly. I never answer the door when they come (because I don’t trust myself to be civil) and I have seen them only come to our house and only during the week when my husband is at work. Most recently, the slacker sister has been asking to babysit at her home and I know it’s so that the oldest sister can spend time with my daughter without my being there. I know, because the one previous time the slacker kept her, the oldest “dropped by” for a visit. I should also add, the oldest sister rarely comes to visit even though she doesn’t have a job and I stay at home with our daughter.

My question is, is there some JW prayer or ritual that she may be trying to pull and am I wrong to try and keep my daughter away them unattended? Certainly when she is older and starts to understand the differences between religions, I will be extra diligent about making sure they don’t influence her with JW propaganda. But right now, I’m just trying to avoid what may be an inevitable family feud.

I apologize for this post being so long, but I’m looking for some non-biased opinions. thanks!

You are right to be concerned, and this is undoubtedly a very dangerous situation.

Keep that JW woman away from your daughter the same way you would keep a child molester away from your child: because both have the same intentions.

And you might even need to tell the JW woman to her face that she is not to be with your daughter alone, ever. Once that happens, you’ve officially bound her to honesty, and from then on she is gravely sinning to go against your wishes.

 

[Soutane]

Soutane-

Oh, I know that.

What I was trying to say is I don’t know how we’re going to deal with my bf’s family. I know they will make it their life mission to have our family converted my prospective SIL already strongly dislikes me!

:blush:Sorry.

If that’s the case you had better set them straight from the get-go and WITH your fiance sitting beside you and supporting you.

 

[Uknowhoo]

:blush:Sorry.

If that’s the case you had better set them straight from the get-go and WITH your fiance sitting beside you and supporting you.

Actually, we have talked about it. He has agreed to two things:
-We will marry in a Catholic Church
-We will raise our children Catholic

Converting would be a nice bonus!

 

[Soutane]

Actually, we have talked about it. He has agreed to two things:
-We will marry in a Catholic Church
-We will raise our children Catholic

Converting would be a nice bonus!

You bet!!!
As his wife you will be his greatest helpmate after Christ in leading him to heaven,

 

[twopekinguys]

Personally, I would approach the aunt/sister, whomever, and tell them in no uncertain terms, but in a Christ-like manner that the religous upbringing of your children is between you and your husband.

Thank her for her concern regarding your children’s salvation, but then express yours also.

Number one being. If she wants to be alone in the room with your child, the door stays open period.

Number two, I would tell her that you would appreciate no conversation regarding religion unless she has cleared it with you and your husband first.

If she has trouble with either of these, then I would simply explain to her that you will then be restricting any and all interaction with your children, to a time that is convienent for you, not her, so you can supervise appropriately.

Your children=your rules…Period!!!

 

[Among_Strangers]

momin2008

I am a former JW. I strongly suggest you set known and firm boundaries with your child and anyone who is affiliated with the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society. They are like the Terminator, they will never stop.

Set the boundaries. If you discuss JW stuff with my children in any form what-so-ever you will be cut off from any association with this family. Understand this is not a threat and if you attempt to proselytize just once, you’re done. And stick to your guns, they wont stop, they can’t, it’s an illness brought on by cultist mind control.

Tell the next JW that knocks on your door firmly, yet politely, that your house if off limits to any representative of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society. You demand (not want or wish but DEMAND) the local congregation makes this known and that under no circumstances is your house to be called on again. By law they must adhere to your demands. You could even go so far as to draw up a simple document with wording similar to what I’ve said and have lines where you print name, sign, and date and the representative of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society prints name, signs, and dates. Once signed just look at them and say “This is legally binding,” and close the door.

I know this sounds, as is, harsh. But as a former JW, I’d be very, very, very careful.