Question for homeschoolers

[VivienneJ]

My daughter and I are very seriously considering home schooling her children, with her husband’s full support of the idea. Note that our school year runs from January to November, so we have the remainder of this year to make a decision. Also we are both qualified early years teachers.

At this stage we have one in first grade. There has been some poor teaching of key concepts in addition to this child having petit mal epilepsy. She has numerous seizures that are almost undetectable unless you are watching her so she also misses pieces of what is said during a school day. She has just started occupational therapy to correct other issues which are often part of the epilepsy package. She is not happy at school and has been teased about the mistakes she makes in test situations. This has resulted in some serious meltdowns at home.

We also have one in Kg1, one due to go into Kg1 in January and a 2 year old toddler (will be 2 in December).

I would like to know from home schooling families what you have found to be difficult or what you regard as negatives about home schooling. Are we being blinded by the positives we see and missing potential problems?

We can only see advantages however we look at this. I would like to hear from other home sxhooling families what the things are that you have found di

 

[GoldenM]

As disclaimer, I was home-schooled and had a great experience; I never regretted my mom’s decision to pull my siblings and me out of Catholic school (I was in 1st grade, my sister in 2nd, and my brothers in preschool). I was able to focus more, work at my own pace in each subject, and developed healthy relationships with my family and friends in our home school group, not to mention grow in my Faith without worldly distractions.

That being said, perhaps the greatest challenge is self discipline. If you use a curriculum (we used Kolbe Academy) you have a syllabus to follow, but there isn’t a third party (school teacher) that is going to make you stick to it.

My husband was also home-schooled, and said that his biggest issue was that when he did get behind, there was a sense of hopelessness of getting back on track. I guess he would say make sure that even if the work “piles up,” make sure the child still feels encouraged and has a clear goal or end point for each day.

Another suggestion we both agree on is the importance of having some sort of regular activity where they can see the same friends every week. Dance class, sports, theatre group, math club, teen group - something where they can develop relationships with the same children over time.

Blessings on your adventure into home-schooling - I really think it is the best way to get good education these days.

Oh, and by the way, don’t think you can’t teach all the way through high school. Though some supplementation may be needed for science classes and such (part-time at the local high school, or a home school co-op could help), I have seen a number of home-schooled children become overwhelmed with culture shock and lose their faith (and even their virginity). This is a very vulnerable time for a child and NOT an advisable time for such a major shift in my opinion.

 

[pianistclare]

Definitely join a co-op. We have one that meets at our parish and the mothers teach various subjects to all the children (about 25 of them) and they share responsibility and the children get a chance to understand that their peers advance in similar ways.
It’s a commitment to moving to another locale, and another style of teaching which is beneficial. If you register with the authorities (which I’m assuming you must) they will give you information on field trips and possible teaching partners.
Another thing is, you’ll have to find someone to watch the small baby at least part of the time. Nothing unravels a class quicker then the baby needs, particularly when the little ones are ill. It’s takes a mother’s full attention, and it’s easy to fall into the “I’m bust right now,…just read in your books.” Full time teachers seldom have that option, and if they do plan busy work, it’s planned and incorporated into the lesson plan well in advance.
** I commend you** for what you’re about to embark on. Just get as much support and info as you can in these months leading up to your new commitment. God bless you.

 

[Bonnie]

I think it’s wonderful that you’re planning on doing this with your daughter. I wish I had been more accepting of my mother’s help when I was homeschooling. I found that if I focused on the older child, the toddler would quickly find trouble!

We belonged to several different homeschooling groups at different times. The best one for us was the smallest and least focused on academic subjects. We would do crafts and field trips together. Being an “official” homeschooling group meant we could get lower rates at museums and plays.

 

[His_helpmeet]

I was a homeschooled child (eldest of 6 children; all homeschooled, though some did spend a few years in public school). I think one of the biggest challenges for parents is finding a good curriculum to use. You may want to see what types of curriculum materials the local public school is using, or at the very least take a look at the curriculum plan from your area (you may be able to find this on a state/provincial web site) to see what key concepts are required knowledge. Then you can build your own curriculum from this information.

Homeschool conferences are a GREAT place to find used curriculum materials on the cheap - and you can get advice as to how well they work.

As far as self-discipline, our routine was to get started first thing in the morning. Mom would call, “Schooltime!” and we’d all come. We’d say the Lord’s Prayer and sing the national anthem, and then we would start. We’d work until we finished or until lunch came around (whichever was first) and then if you had some things still to finish (rare) you would finish them after lunch.

 

[Avocadomom]

I’ve done both. We homeschooled, and now my kids are in parochial school.

Here are what I see as the pros and cons…

PROS
-Can make own schedule. Not a “slave” to the school calendar.
-Shorter school days for kids mean more time to play (make messes!)
-Can tailor curriculum to meet each child’s preferences.
-Lots of support and resources now available.
-Get to spend more time with your children.
-Often a safer environment.

CONS
-Easy to get off track if you are not super disciplined. Easy to get off-track once the “fun” wears off.
-No time away from kids to recharge. Kids don’t get a break from constant sibling/parent interactions. I find that I look forward to both my kids heading off to school AND to picking them up. Because I get a chance to miss them
-Less opportunity to learn to deal with different personality types, different environments, and overcome obstacles, muscle through adversity. Not every year is a perfect year, and kids need to learn to deal with that.
-Socialization challenges **
-Less opportunity to have another professional adult evaluate your child objectively.

**Yes, I know kids can do lots outside of the school day. Mine did, too. Soccer practice, dance class, Boy/Girl scouts, 4H, park days, etc. etc. However, none of these activities puts kids in contact with the same group of kids for nearly the time that a school day does. It’s not the same. (Think of the difference between the people you work with all day every day vs. the people in your once-weekly fitness class… the level of intimacy is just not equivalent.)

I also really love the family community at my Catholic school, and that’s something I missed as a homeschooling parent.

One thing I miss is the flexibility in scheduling. Oh, how I hate to have to plan my vacations around when everyone else is doing the same! I also miss shopping for all those fun school supplies I often wonder if I’ve made the right choices along the way, but we all do the best we can and you will too!

 

[Brianmcg321]

My wife and I decided to homeschool our daughter. She started kindergarten this year.

I agree with the pros and cons that Avacadomom stated with a couple of differences.

I work second shift. If my daughter was in school I would only get to see her at 7am taking her to school. Since she gets up early I get up with her and we usually work on something, art or a worksheet. Then we get to play. Mom takes over in the afternoon.

The socialization thing is different for us. My daughter has dance, but we are also members of a very active homeschool community. They have weekly park days, field trips and co-op classes. She has made lots of friends that come to these and its the same group of friends. My wife and I have made some friends also.

They had a beginning of the year picnic and over 450 people showed up. I was floored. I was thinking it would be 30-40.

Once we made the decision to homeschool it was as if a weight was lifted from our shoulders.

 

[VivienneJ]

Thank you for the responses.

We are aware of the lack of socialising opportunities. For the two who are currently attending the only school available to us (we live in a village in a farming area) social opportunities are limited/non-existent on almost every level.

It certainly seems to be the best thing for our special needs child.

In addition, we will build a school room attached to our house and we will be co-teaching. I have been a classroom teacher most of my working life and have just retired from a head of school position. Between us we are very aware of the need for commitment, structure and routine.

Certainly the lack of a break from the children could be a problem. We are lucky to have extended family in very close proximity where the children already spend an afternoon, night and the next day every alternate week.

 

[gardenswithkids]

Let me get this straight: you are the grandmother with a background in teaching and you are considering co-homeschooling your grandchildren (one who has some special needs), along with your daughter? :bowdown:

Plus, you want to add on a classroom to your property for this! Wow. You have my admiration as you sound like a wonderful and involved grandmother. But since you asked, I’ll share how reality might be different from your expectations.

One potential downside I can see is if you and your daughter don’t get agree over matters related to homeschooling such as who teaches what and how it’s taught. Homeschoolers have all types of methods and philosophies about education. Some homeschoolers use a more “school at home”, (which sounds like it may be your approach given your previous classroom experience and desire to build a classroom.) Others use a different approach, incorporating education through other life experiences–perhaps without using traditional textbooks. Those are the two extremes–and there’s a great deal of variety within the middle.

Even if you have similar philosophies on education, the selection of curriculum and materials available to homeschoolers today is extensive and fabulous, but with that comes increased decisions. Who is going to decide what’s used? If it’s you, what would you do if your daughter, her children or her husband didn’t like the material you’d like to teach? Or if it’s them, what you don’t like using the material they’d like you to use?

And what if the materials you jointly decided were best just don’t seem to be working, for instance if a child has a learning disorder that hasn’t yet been identified? Will you get “blamed” if the child struggles with learning something you’ve tried to teach? At what point, if any, will you and your daughter ask the occupational therapist or other professionals for further help? Homeschooling a child with special needs can be absolutely the best solution, but it can also be a challenge that leaves everyone involved exhausted and burnt out.

The other potential problem I can see is with the management of the younger children while working with the school aged children. Not every toddler will happily color quietly while big sister learns to read and the baby nurses. Of course, this depends on the particular children involved, but given that there are several young children, it’s certainly a potential challenge. Most homeschooling mothers with young children in the mix do manage it, even without the daily help of the grandmother, (or they eventually give up and send the older ones to school.) Be prepared for interruptions from the younger children.

Also, given your experience as a classroom teacher, remember that there now will likely be very young children in the classroom, and no school janitor! Some of those fabulous materials will be treated as chew toys by a teething baby. In addition to the choking hazard factor, the beautifully organized math manipulatives will be attractive to young people who don’t use them the way they were intended and whose immature attempts to clean up may just make a bigger mess. If you live in the same space where you homeschool, the mess can be overwhelming at times! If you were used to a clean house, the time you spent cleaning will be partly spent teaching, and so not only won’t you have a school janitor, but your weekly household chores may be difficult to incorporate into the school day.

Anyway, that’s my :twocents: I think you are wonderful for even considering this option for your grandchildren! But as wonderful as homeschooling is, homeschooling involves working with humans–who even in the best of circumstances, still have flaws and imperfections. Be prepared that homeschooling may reveal imperfections in your daughter, your grandchildren, and yourself.

 

[VivienneJ]

First to thank all who gave (name removed by moderator)ut to my question. I thought an update may be appreciated.

At this stage we are still waiting for the classroom to be built and have made a temporary school area in the family room. This has proved to be good, although it did not feel so at the time. It has given my daughter and I time to refine our ideas of what we really need in the way of furniture and storage areas. All who have seen our ‘school room’ have admired it.

More importantly, the children: the 6 year old is now having fewer absence seizures although she is still having more than two a day; she has made up ground with phonics and is now able to blend simple words and write words that anybody in the family can read, she is still at the stage of writing only a few familiar words, but these are growing; she was delighted to pick up one of the books we use in our phonics programme and read some of the words, exclaiming, “I can read!” Once we felt she had gained confidence with phonics we started simple Maths; here we are still building her confidence and working to overcome the negative influences of her first grade classroom experiences. Her handwriting has improved tremendously. Her OT has also noticed a big change.
The 5 year old has had his OT assessment and is also having his specific difficulties remediated. It seems he was allowed to do as little as he pleased in his KG1 class and he had great difficulty being expected to sit quietly, take his turn and complete tasks. He is now enjoying school and meeting our expectations; we feel that some of his difficulties are simply a result of lack of exposure to concepts and tasks; a simple example is that he was unable to write his name when we started in November - last week he wrote it independently for the first time!
The 3 year old hated the whole idea in the beginning and did not want school in his house. He would spend most of our discussion time either sulking or crying on his bed. He now joins in all activities and can recognize and sound all the letters of the alphabet. He is colouring carefully and enjoying the educational activities.
The 2 year old has amazed us. In the beginning she would, indeed, disrupt all activities, wanting all the pens or markers or crayons or whatever. She now accepts that there are times when she has to wait her turn to use scissors or glue and is trying to play the new games we introduce. She can identify and sound at least 11 letters of the alphabet.

We have also learned a great deal about the effects of epileptic seizures on both learning and the social and emotional aspects of the sufferer’s life. We are getting better at recognizing what causes her meltdowns and deflecting or diffusing these, where possible. A lot more is involved than just the few moments she loses during a seizure.

We have a song we play to indicate the start of the school day and members of the extended family have been amazed to see how the children drop whatever they are doing to come to school when they hear it, the ‘baby’ calling “school time” as she runs. We start each day with prayer and all the children join in as best they can with the ‘Our Father’ and ‘Hail Mary’ (even the baby) and we also allow time for individual prayer.

All in all this has been the right decision for our family. We have four happy children who are learning and playing together happily.

 

[Brianmcg321]

Sounds like everything is going well.

Just a note that relates to how well your grandchildren are doing is how much attention they get and you are able to see immediately if they are falling behind in anything. With my own daughter this has been the best thing. I know immediately and we can work on the things that’s causing her trouble instead of finding out six months later at report card time.

 

[gardenswithkids]

Thank you for the update. It’s nice to read how well homeschooling is going for you and your grandchildren.

 

[child_of_God85]

I am very much against home schooling. I was home schooled , and I hated it. I also harbor alot of resentment for my mother because of it. My education was based around Christianity and was therefor lacking. She had me in social groups, but its never the same as really connecting with other students in a class environment. I had to teach myself to get over my sever shyness and antisocial behavior.
Children need to socialize on a daily basis with other students. They need to expirience those milestone that only a school can give them. They will regret it when they get older.

 

[His_helpmeet]

I am very much against home schooling. I was home schooled , and I hated it. I also harbor alot of resentment for my mother because of it. My education was based around Christianity and was therefor lacking. She had me in social groups, but its never the same as really connecting with other students in a class environment. I had to teach myself to get over my sever shyness and antisocial behavior.
Children need to socialize on a daily basis with other students. They need to expirience those milestone that only a school can give them. They will regret it when they get older.

Actually, the evidence seems to suggest that homeschooled children are BETTER socialized than children in public school. My siblings and I were involved in Guiding and Scouting, music ensembles, and sports activities. The evidence also shows that when children are placed with their peers on a constant basis they tend to be influenced to a greater extent by their peers than by their parents - not always the best option.

For the record: there are six of us kids. Here’s a breakdown of what we accomplished:

Me - public school from K-3, homeschooled from 4-8, online school from 9-12. Graduated valedictorian, Bachelor of Nursing with distinction 2006, Master of Nursing 2014. Married (happily) x 4 years in May. Employed as a nursing instructor at a college.

Sis - public school from K-1, homeschooled from 2-8, online school from 9-12. Certificate in Early Childhood Education 2005. Married (happily) x 6 years in April. SAHM to 3 children. Oldest son (aged 5) recently won award in school for positive attitude and hard work.

Bro1 - homeschooled from K-6, online school from 7-12. Graduated valedictorian. Bachelor of Music 2010. Employed doing freelance musician work - teaching, performance. Recently released debut album for viola duo with Bro2.

Bro2 - homeschooled from K-7, online school from 8-12. Graduated valedictorian. Bachelor of Music 2012. Employed doing freelance musician work - teaching, performance. Recently released debut album for viola duo with Bro1.

Bro3 - homeschooled from K-7, online school from 8-12. Graduated valedictorian. Bachelor of Music 2014. Married (happily) x 3 years in August. Employed by a college conservatory as a violin instructor.

Bro4 - homeschooled from K-7, online school for 8-9, public school from 10-12. Employed as a security guard. Received commendations from high school teachers for best citizenship skills in class - helping teachers clean up, thanking them for the class, keeping other students’ behaviour on track, etc.

While I don’t dispute that some families are too restrictive with their children when they homeschool, I do think that for many children the benefits outweigh any potential problems.

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

There are a couple of people on C A that are involved in Homeschooling ,
And they feel it is of great benefit to them, it’s worth looking at seriously