Question for husbands and wives

[beckyann2597]

BioCatholic:

actually my wife and i arent in love anymore. basically we hate each other. she klinked me with a frying pan, and it landed her in jail. albeit i helped put her there, where she stayed for 4 months until her sentence was commuted.

she has since made my life a living hell. i can honestly say that if she left the planet (or even the continent) my life would be sooooo much better.

i have getogethers at my house of my police, paramedic, and classmate frriends. and most of them are there to avoid being at home with their wives. oftentimes, ill let one or more guys stay over because they just dont want to go home. im the guy with a house all his own now.

i dont think i know a man who, when talking to me honestly, says he is happy in his marriage. i sure know for a while that i pretended to be happy and just did what she said and wanted to keep her quiet and off my back.

i cant fathom the fact after 8 years you are still that happy. after a couple of years for me, i dreaded going home. i know the church’s teaching on divorce, but id positively rather go through life single than spend another 50 years with that woman. and she feels exactly the same way.

A thought after reading the post by BioCatholic…
I am not a woman who cares for warm fuzzy affectionate stuff and I wonder if BioCatholic is really unhappy or if he is trying to be funny. If it was a post about his unhappy state in life, I feel sorry for him. I hope that you will be happy in your life.
I spoke with my DH after reading this and asked how men usually speak to each other about being married. He siad “We don’t.” He stated what I have always observed about men (and I have 2 brothers and a dad). Men don’t really talk to each other. Sometimes a grunt to tell them to adjust the volume or pass a wrench, but men don’t have conversations about this. This is one of those Mars / Venus things. He siad that other married men that he is friends with are just part of the club and they share funny stories about kids or cars, but not much about their love lives. My husband and I have a good marriage. His single friends hang out with us and have siad things like “I would like to just wake up one day and have been married for ten years” or joke around and say, “Do you have a sister”. I let him do his guy stuff, I don’t ride him about no coaster on the coffee table and he lets me talk continuosly and what she said to so and so. We intentionally avoid people with bad marriages. It is just uncomfortable and no fun to hang out with those people. Have you ever watched SNL and seen that skit with “The Couple that should be divorced”. Its really that uncomfortable in real life too.
Have you ever seen the show “Everbody Loves Raymond”? It is our life and we just watch that show and laugh! the only difference that we are Irish and they are Italian…and both of our mothers are annoying! One time I got really mad at his mom and siad “Thats it, * you * are talking to your mom for now on!” He replied “Thats not right!” and I siad “You deal with your family, I’ll deal with mine.” He thought about it and we shook on it.

Things we do to keep our marriage strong?
1.Never say things like “In my next marriage I’ll by that other table” or “I get that clock in the divorce” like people say as a joke. My parents siad that kind of joke my entire life and they divorced a year after I got married.
2. I tell him when he does something right,
3. I tell him I love him, especially in front of the kids.
4. I tell him when he is ticking me off and how to stop it!
5. Hang out with other people who have good marriages.
6. Have intelligent conversations with him (when was the last time you counted the time signature to song and talked about the music theory in the chord progession?)

BioCatholic–I think you need to go to www.retrouvaille.org
It may save your marriage.

 

[BioCatholic]

there isnt a thing in thie universe that can save my marriage. while i dont know if she will file for divorce, i know for sure she will never come home.

and i really dont care if she does. i am really enjoying my alone time now. i can now focus on defending my Master’s thesis, work extra paramedic shifts, and hangout with all my friends anytime i want.

my house has become the sanctuary for my buddies. what most men tell their wives, and what they really think is night and day. [in my experience].

if for one day, men said what was really on their mind, and gave completely honest answers to women and their wives, the world would self-destruct. divorce rates would skyrocket, and woman-to-man domestic violence would increase exponentially.

from the guys i know that have divorced, probably the most common factor that started the divorce was, “I started saying what was really on my mind”. “I stopped doing what she said or told me”. “i didnt let her walk over me anymore”.

i ask some other married guys why they put up with the antics of their wife, and they tell me “because she wont have sex with me otherwise”. alot of men will please their wife just so the wife will stay happy and want to have sex.

all i know is that i am counting my blessings that that woman is gone from my home. God works in mysterious ways, and this might just be one of them as far as i am concerned.

 

[Katie1723]

BioCatholic:

there isnt a thing in thie universe that can save my marriage. while i dont know if she will file for divorce, i know for sure she will never come home.

and i really dont care if she does. i am really enjoying my alone time now. i can now focus on defending my Master’s thesis, work extra paramedic shifts, and hangout with all my friends anytime i want.

my house has become the sanctuary for my buddies. what most men tell their wives, and what they really think is night and day. [in my experience].

if for one day, men said what was really on their mind, and gave completely honest answers to women and their wives, the world would self-destruct. divorce rates would skyrocket, and woman-to-man domestic violence would increase exponentially.

from the guys i know that have divorced, probably the most common factor that started the divorce was, “I started saying what was really on my mind”. “I stopped doing what she said or told me”. “i didnt let her walk over me anymore”.

i ask some other married guys why they put up with the antics of their wife, and they tell me “because she wont have sex with me otherwise”. alot of men will please their wife just so the wife will stay happy and want to have sex.

all i know is that i am counting my blessings that that woman is gone from my home. God works in mysterious ways, and this might just be one of them as far as i am concerned.

I appreciate your honesty. I won’t say I’m sorry, because to me it sounds as if you are finally happy. My situation was not the same as yours, however, the last thing I wanted to hear was “I’m sorry” because, I wasn’t.
~ Kathy ~

 

[Peace-bwu]

Last night after reading this, and the question was posed: “Where are all the happily married men?” I started thinking the really happy men are probably all asleep because of an influx of seratonin, and the happy wives had a little extra energy for a few hours due to the same reason. This was the case at my home.

My husband works with men who travel the world. He knows men who are married and have regular girlfriends in various countries whom they visit whenever there. This disgusts my husband because fidelity is such an important quality to him.

I am going to try to keep this tasteful and rated G…

My husband recently told me that “the guys” usually talk about how they never get any from their wives at home. This includes faithful men. He always feels very lucky that his situation is different, and tries to promote marriage whenever he can. He told me a story of a friend of ours whom he begged not to cheat on his wife. It nearly destroyed his marriage because the woman he had a one night stand with called their home a few months later. They eventually worked it out. I also know a few women who cheat on their husbands, though I avoid their company.

Husbands and wives should always try to hang with friends who have the same beliefs and value marriage so that they can support one another.

I trust my husband 110% and always do my best to listen to him, cherish him and treat him like the king of the castle. He treats me like a queen. That is the way it should be. So many of the marital problems I see are the result of a relationship built on “game playing” which eventually results in selfishness, usually on the part of both spouses. I can’t stand the immature mind games where one tries to make the other jealous, or witholds affection to punish the spouse.

As spouses we should be striving to meet our spouses needs in every way, including a desire for their spiritual well-being and helping them in their relationship with God. Loving our spouse unselfishly is a very important way to show love for God. Be the first to make peace, the first to forgive, the first to scratch a back, make a sandwich or buy a suprise gift. Be the first to say: I appreciate you, thank you for sharing your life with me. I love you. Always take the time to ask: “What do you need? How can I help you?” and then strive to do it.

 

[Katie1723]

Peace-bwu:

I trust my husband 110% and always do my best to listen to him, cherish him and treat him like the king of the castle. He treats me like a queen. That is the way it should be. So many of the marital problems I see are the result of a relationship built on “game playing” which eventually results in selfishness, usually on the part of both spouses. I can’t stand the immature mind games where one tries to make the other jealous, or witholds affection to punish the spouse.

As spouses we should be striving to meet our spouses needs in every way, including a desire for their spiritual well-being and helping them in their relationship with God. Loving our spouse unselfishly is a very important way to show love for God. Be the first to make peace, the first to forgive, the first to scratch a back, make a sandwich or buy a suprise gift. Be the first to say: I appreciate you, thank you for sharing your life with me. I love you. Always take the time to ask: “What do you need? How can I help you?” and then strive to do it.

You have a wonderful outlook on marriage…you are both lucky!
~ Kathy ~

 

[Beebs]

rayne89:

Not a single man has praised his wife! :crying:

Please tell me BioCatholic isn’t right -are you guys out there just pretending to like us?

Looks like I’m going to be the Knight to save the Day (Council #113 Woonsocket, RI by the way).

My wife and I are a team. She as always been very supportive and I treasure the blessing God has given me with her.

We see eye to eye on almost everything, God, family life, raising the children and even politics. On the things we differ on we will compormise for what better suits the family.

We help each other, when one is weak (I feak about anything medical she freaks about money) the other is strong (She is a nurse and I am an accountant). We the two of us team up to talk about God, watch out, she gets them with the catachist and I get them with Bible and Church history. She reads the life of saints and I read C.S. Lewis and Peter Kreeft.

Most of all she is my friend.

Beebs

 

[KathleenElsie]

Short and sweet. LOL

Married the boy next door. Known each other for 45 years and married for 37 of them. Still wonder how I got so lucky. I get all fuzzy when I look at him across the room.

Hope and pray you all are as lucky and blessed as I have been.:dancing: