Question for LDS (MORMONS)

[Inishfree]

I have a question. Is it true that in Salt Lake City Utah, LDS members are encourage to do business with only LDS members?

I’ll give an example. The mechanic who replaced our break pads and does oil changes on our car is Muslim. I’m sure the rosary hanging from our rear view mirror was a give away, my husband and I are Catholic. Anyway, he is an excellent mechanic and a very nice man. It is a pleasure to do business with him.

 

[Sunstone]

I have a question. Is it true that in Salt Lake City Utah, LDS members are encourage to do business with only LDS members?

I’ll give an example. The mechanic who replaced our break pads and does oil changes on our car is Muslim. I’m sure the rosary hanging from our rear view mirror was a give away, my husband and I are Catholic. Anyway, he is an excellent mechanic and a very nice man. It is a pleasure to do business with him.

There is no such encouragement, but I don’t doubt that some LDS business people have special arrangements with other LDS business people.

Today, what you describe only happens through informal networks. The rumor, though, is rooted in the Mormon insularity of the 1830s, and also in the Mormon’s conflicts with the Federal Government prior to Utah’s statehood.

 

[pinay]

I have a question. Is it true that in Salt Lake City Utah, LDS members are encourage to do business with only LDS members?

I’ll give an example. The mechanic who replaced our break pads and does oil changes on our car is Muslim. I’m sure the rosary hanging from our rear view mirror was a give away, my husband and I are Catholic. Anyway, he is an excellent mechanic and a very nice man. It is a pleasure to do business with him.

The Church do not get involved in who its members do business with. In Utah, there is a higher concentration of LDS members than anywhere else, so that it is easy to find an LDS mechanic, or an LDS salon, or any other business for that matter. It is natural human tendency to gravitate to people you share something in common with to form a basis of trust.

For example, I am Filipino living in the US. My realtor is Filipino, my mortgage broker is Filipino, my dentist is Filipino. I find that I prefer Filipinos for certain things because of the cultural similarity - my Filipino mortgage broker, for example, wouldn’t bother trying to sell me a 100% mortgage because it’s just not a Filipino thing to do. You will find this common among ethnic and religious groups.

An even better example, if I know a band is LDS, then I would listen to their music, because, there’s a good chance it will be clean and not diverge from our set of moral standards. I have all of David Archuletta’s albums.

Make sense?

 

[Inishfree]

Thank you, Sunstone and Pinay for your replies. What I heard was just a rumor than. Just like I am sure there are rumors about Catholics, which are not true.

 

[TheExorcist]

When does your temple recommend expire?

This will be a tough time. In order to keep up appearances I have to have my recommend. It expires in early 2012. And now that the EQ Pres knows I’m anything BUT a TBM I can never go to the temple when he goes.

Thanks for the advice from the USCCB’s website and from the scriptures. They are extremely comforting!

Charles

 

[RebeccaJ]

This will be a tough time. In order to keep up appearances I have to have my recommend. It expires in early 2012. And now that the EQ Pres knows I’m anything BUT a TBM I can never go to the temple when he goes.

Thanks for the advice from the USCCB’s website and from the scriptures. They are extremely comforting!

Charles

At times of stress and anxiety, pray the Our Father. I find this helped me when I was struggling to know how to modify my life, from what it was before. I know the feeling of being stuck, but have patience, and God will show you the way. It may be a difficult way to follow, but I have learned that God uses difficult times as a purifying fire.

 

[RebeccaJ]

I have a question. Is it true that in Salt Lake City Utah, LDS members are encourage to do business with only LDS members?

I’ll give an example. The mechanic who replaced our break pads and does oil changes on our car is Muslim. I’m sure the rosary hanging from our rear view mirror was a give away, my husband and I are Catholic. Anyway, he is an excellent mechanic and a very nice man. It is a pleasure to do business with him.

Inishfree, I know LDS who will actively seek out other LDS, and favor LDS businesses. I also know Catholics who do the same.

There are cases where people have left the LDS Church, and their business in SLC failed, because LDS members stopped frequenting their establishments. I think it is a reason that Catholics in SLC seek out Catholic businesses, to give them the support they need to survive. I think LDS seek out LDS businesses for the same reason, they want to support the people they know.

But myself, unless a LDS business person is being really missionary in my face…I don’t know if they are LDS or not and have never asked. The missionary in my face people…I don’t go back to those businesses, only because I find it beyond annoying.

 

[Inishfree]

Thanks Rebecca,

I live in Maryland, not too far from Baltimore City and there isn’t a high concentration of one faith over another. I have Muslim neighbors. I guess it is more multi-cultural. Where I am at.

I don’t ask the religous beliefs if any. When I am doing business with someone.

 

[KathleenGee]

I only work with business people, irregardless of race and culture…that have high moral standards…10 commandment and business law.

The Catholic Church from its beginning, taught to conduct business honestly through Judeo-Christian standards. At ancient Masses, people made public statements at the gathering to refuse to lie, steal, or commit adultery…one man, one woman, through Jesus Christ.

 

[jasonj75]

80% divorce rate…this is a Mormon occurrence, not Catholic. A priest will not counsel a person to obtain a divorce, a Mormon bishop will. It is not my fault that you can’t face reality.

But, you just keep on telling yourself that all is well, and blame me, it is a typical Mormon response. You can’t address the subject without attacking the other person, especially when that person is a former Mormon. It happens like clockwork around here.

New here, found this thread from an unrelated Google search, but I’d like to ask where you got those numbers? I have never heard anything of the like, even from our most ardent detractors. The only reference I could find was a reference on NOM to a student’s masters thesis with no further grounding.

I’d also like to know what authoritative source told you that Mormon bishops counsel divorce when one spouse leaves the church? I was in two bishoprics for a total of 8 years (not the bishop fortunately) and divorce wasn’t even discussed as an option with two incidents where the husband chose to leave the church. Both couples are still married (even with one husband becoming ardently anti-mormon). Additionally, there is no mention of of such a recommendation in the handbook of instructions provided to the bishops for handling such circumstances, in fact I want to say exactlt the opposite is stated that the integrity of the family is paramount.

I don’t doubt that it happens (bishops are people too and have their own opinions on how to handle matters), but your matter of fact statement that this is the norm the church is simply wrong.

 

[Charlotte408]

Why don’t mormons drive cars?

 

[jasonj75]

Why don’t mormons drive cars?

I think you mean the Amish…

 

[campeador]

I think you mean the Amish…

No, I think Charlotte is talking about missionaries on bicycles.

 

[jasonj75]

No, I think Charlotte is talking about missionaries on bicycles.

Ah, well depends on the area…In Mexico City I didn’t drive a car or ride bikes (too dang dangerous for either), but the missionaries that work in my neighborhood (Northern Virginia) have cars since the area they cover is larger and there is limited to no public transportation.

 

[RebeccaJ]

New here, found this thread from an unrelated Google search, but I’d like to ask where you got those numbers? I have never heard anything of the like, even from our most ardent detractors. The only reference I could find was a reference on NOM to a student’s masters thesis with no further grounding.

I’d also like to know what authoritative source told you that Mormon bishops counsel divorce when one spouse leaves the church? I was in two bishoprics for a total of 8 years (not the bishop fortunately) and divorce wasn’t even discussed as an option with two incidents where the husband chose to leave the church. Both couples are still married (even with one husband becoming ardently anti-mormon). Additionally, there is no mention of of such a recommendation in the handbook of instructions provided to the bishops for handling such circumstances, in fact I want to say exactlt the opposite is stated that the integrity of the family is paramount.

I don’t doubt that it happens (bishops are people too and have their own opinions on how to handle matters), but your matter of fact statement that this is the norm the church is simply wrong.

Hello, the bishop in a mormon church has the authority to act outside of the instructions provided. Or at least they did when my dad was a bishop (decades ago). Has this changed?

Mine is from experience, too many to list, too many divorces to recount.

I don’t buy that the integrity of the family is paramount in mormonism. Sorry. I come from a very large mormon family. The mormon church is paramount in mormonism. Period.

 

[jasonj75]

Hello, the bishop in a mormon church has the authority to act outside of the instructions provided. Or at least they did when my dad was a bishop (decades ago). Has this changed?

Mine is from experience, too many to list, too many divorces to recount.

I don’t buy that the integrity of the family is paramount in mormonism. Sorry. I come from a very large mormon family. The mormon church is paramount in mormonism. Period.

Are bishops free to act outside or contrary to provided instruction? No, not at all. “Mine house is a house of order” wouldn’t be very orderly if bishops went off doing their own thing.

That being said, I don’t have the handbook to reference so I only have, like you, my personal experiences to provide here. However, the bishops I served with were letter of the law people and the handbook was always out and the phrase ‘family is paramount’ was bantered around quite often and the results were that those families stayed together.

I came from a big Mormon family too…

 

[xixxvmcm85]

Why don’t mormons drive cars?

You’re thinking of the Mormon missionaries, not necessarily the LDS faithful. Most Mormon men are expected to serve a two year mission between the ages of 19 and 21. In areas where the climate is hospitable, the mission area is relatively small (in terms of geographic area), and the area mission president says so, LDS missionaries will be given only an allowance for bicycles. The day to day lives of Mormon missionaries are incredibly controlled for modesty since they’re supposed to be representing the LDS Church. When I was an LDS missionary in Germany we were allowed to use cars (mission too large for reasonable transportation by bike). Most of the missionaries I knew as a kid in my ward in the East Bay rode bikes. Here in San Francisco I never see missionaries ride bikes or drive cars; they always take the bus or train. I actually asked one once why they were allowed to take public transportation, even on Sundays when LDS are supposed to refrain from spending money and he told me that his mission president wouldn’t allow them to ride bikes given the way “we people” drive The average Mormon can walk, ride a bike, drive a car, or even use a teleportation device.

 

[BYUChemAlum]

I actually asked one once why they were allowed to take public transportation, even on Sundays when LDS are supposed to refrain from spending money and he told me that his mission president wouldn’t allow them to ride bikes given the way “we people” drive

LOL that’s funny, same thing here in NYC.

 

[freddo]

Thank you for your prayers. I will need all the grace I can receive in order to break away with the situation Im in now. My wife is a Knight, and yes that’s in Joseph and Newell Knight so you can see how deep the church runs in her family.

I have Knight blood from about 4 generations ago, and it was reintroduced to the family through my brother’s wife.

You and I, good sir, are distantly removed inlaws!

Another distantly removed inlaw…my husband is also related to the Knights. He’s also the fourth (?) great nephew of Brigham Young. I am quite the thorn in my in-laws’ side. :lol:

Pinay, the divorce rate for Mormon couples in TheExorcist’s position is 80%. It is the believing spouse who wants the divorce. So you can imagine, there are a lot of people out there who have gone through this. Mormon Bishop’s will counsel the believing spouse to get a divorce. It has happened over and over. So your ‘advice’, to talk to a Mormon bishop… is not in the interest of keeping the marriage intact.

There is almost a cookie-cutter fashion to the way the the believing spouse behaves. The first is, they want sole custody of the children in order to raise them Mormon. When the non-believing spouse wants a legal agreement of sole custody, joint custody or even just visiting rights that block this wish of raising the children Mormon…that is when some Mormons get very dirty in how they play the divorce.

Often, the non-believing parent is just as strong in their wishes that their children are not raised in Mormonism. You can understand this, if you understand that the majority of people who leave Mormonism have come to view it as nothing more than a huge fraud. Who would want their children raised to believe lies?

I’ve read a whole range of Mormon behavior, making up lies about the non-believing spouse… they are alcoholic, they abused their own children, neglectful, etc. They tell these lies to their bishop, and anyone who will listen in the ward. The non-believing spouse loses all support from anyone in the ward, including from people who were once relied on as friends and held in confidence.

There have been parents and grandparents who have kidnapped children from the non-believing spouse. Children baptized Mormon without the permission of the non-believing parent. It goes on and on.

You know very well the importance that Mormons put on families. A believing spouse who is making the kind of threats that are in this situation, is acting the part that has been acted thousands of times before. This is not new territory.

New here, found this thread from an unrelated Google search, but I’d like to ask where you got those numbers? I have never heard anything of the like, even from our most ardent detractors. The only reference I could find was a reference on NOM to a student’s masters thesis with no further grounding.

I’d also like to know what authoritative source told you that Mormon bishops counsel divorce when one spouse leaves the church? I was in two bishoprics for a total of 8 years (not the bishop fortunately) and divorce wasn’t even discussed as an option with two incidents where the husband chose to leave the church. Both couples are still married (even with one husband becoming ardently anti-mormon). Additionally, there is no mention of of such a recommendation in the handbook of instructions provided to the bishops for handling such circumstances, in fact I want to say exactlt the opposite is stated that the integrity of the family is paramount.

I don’t doubt that it happens (bishops are people too and have their own opinions on how to handle matters), but your matter of fact statement that this is the norm the church is simply wrong.

I haven’t seen 80%, but I have seen/heard of a number of bishops counsel divorce. Since bishops are largely untrained (particularly to the extent that ministers of other faiths are), there seems to be a huge range of normal, and of course, the handbook is subject to interpretation, even if it’s not supposed to be. I know bishops who would, without a doubt, counsel somebody to stay with their “apostate” spouse. On the other hand, I also know bishops who would counsel, and have done so, divorce from the “apostate” spouse.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Are bishops free to act outside or contrary to provided instruction? No, not at all. “Mine house is a house of order” wouldn’t be very orderly if bishops went off doing their own thing.

“The handbook is written in terms of principles, as far as possible, rather than explicit directions. Local leaders apply the principles in their stakes, wards, and branches as they are directed by spiritual inspiration.”

eom.byu.edu/index.php/General_Handbook_of_Instructions

Apparently some bishops believe the Mormon god wants people to get a divorce.