Question for married couples reguarding sex toys

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When I was in rehab, we were introduced to these toys and were instructed on how they are best used. It was very enlightening and sad at the same time (but we get over it)
When men are injured like I was, they must “Re-invent” a new sex life. It’s finding the true greatness of a great wife who’ll follow along.

Scotty
 
With regards to the original question…

I think it is a matter of personal opinion as long as it is not used for masturbation or w/o the presence of the spouse.

With regards to the college question…

I went to San Francisco State University c/o '04, and let me tell you, I saw things I had never seen before. I minored in human sexuality but most of the classes were too explicit and saw too many crazy things going on from sex changes to sex toy parties to condom projects.

The things that go on now in schools are just out of hand, but just remember that college does open up the doors to a lot of bad influence.

I was not exposed to much of this before college, and when I went to SFSU I became accustomed to all this, thing that I am not any longer.

Let’s just pray to God that young people are mature enough to understand what’s wrong and what’s right.
 
leonie said:
lotusblossom;1627983:
well, I think you said it very well in the first post. If you are using sex for pleasure without regard to the unitive and procreative aspects, then you are way off track.

And, frankly, I’m shocked that college students in a dorm would host such a party. I’m assuming that they are all single. Most are supported at least partly by their parents.Their parents would approve of spending money on this?

:eek:

This thread makes me even more
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nervous about sending my kids to college. 😦

I couldn’t agree more. We’re leaning toward sending the kids to colleges/universities within commuting distance. When I went to college, it was quite bad in the dorms in terms of drinking, drugs, sex, etc. . It appears to have just worsened. I always carried a full load of classes, worked, and volunteered in many different capacities. Yet, I had an inordinate amount of downtime. Luckily, I chose to study, read, or do some other honorable activity vs. partying/having sex and generally participating in immoral type things. Can’t say the same for my roommates (Oh, and I was not homeschooled—went to Public Schools for my entire school career).
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As a current college student, I understand why you parents of soon-to-be college students are wary about sending them off to college considering all the drinking, sex, and other sinful things that are common to college campuses. I see that kind of stuff virtually every day, but doesn’t everyone?

The question I have to ask is, if you raised your children to know right from wrong, educated them about what’s out there in the big bad world (i.e. didn’t overly shelter them and leave them in the dark about how things really are), and if you trust your children, why would you hesitate sending them to a college of their choice? I know my parents worried about me when I left for a state university, but they worried about stuff in general like what if I get in an accident, what if I get raped, what if I’m mugged, and stuff like that. They never worried about my moral choices because they knew I had a “good head on my shoulders” and they trusted me to make the right choices.
 
journey137 said:
As a current college student, I understand why you parents of soon-to-be college students are wary about sending them off to college considering all the drinking, sex, and other sinful things that are common to college campuses. I see that kind of stuff virtually every day, but doesn’t everyone?
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Not really. I don’t see that stuff every day. In retrospect, I wish I had commuted to college. At least for the first 1-2 years. I was so young to be thrown into a dorm with a bunch of strangers, most of whom went absolutely “wild” once the parents left. In these days, it is just not necessary for kids to stay at college if there is one close by. In the old days, there weren’t as many options, and if a person wanted to attend college, they had to stay on campus(due to the distance and less reliable transportation).
The question I have to ask is, if you raised your children to know right from wrong, educated them about what’s out there in the big bad world (i.e. didn’t overly shelter them and leave them in the dark about how things really are), and if you trust your children, why would you hesitate sending them to a college of their choice? I know my parents worried about me when I left for a state university, but they worried about stuff in general like what if I get in an accident, what if I get raped, what if I’m mugged, and stuff like that. They never worried about my moral choices because they knew I had a “good head on my shoulders” and they trusted me to make the right choices.
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Excellent points. However, when I’m footing the bill, I want to make sure that the money is spent well. Spending thousands on residency/food is simply unnecessary. Like I said above, I went to college and stayed on campus. I had hours and hours of down time per day. I usually spent it wisely. Sometimes I did not. If, after 1-2 years my children decide on an area of study that could not be addressed by area universities, then we would certainly consider sending them “away” to college. Most kids change majors 2-3 times before deciding what they want. I changed colleges 3 times before settling on a major. I could’ve gotten my liberal arts courses at the local community college and not had thousands of dollars of student loans to pay.
 
Hmn…Ive always thought that the real thing would be a bit better than the toy version.

For example…while hotwheels can be real fun when your a kid… it doesnt quite own up to the real thing 👍

But I agree with many of the other posters that if those couples who want to engage in sex toys choose to…well let them!
 
For example…while hotwheels can be real fun when your a kid… it doesnt quite own up to the real thing 👍
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For my 40th birthday my sweetie’s birthday present to me was a full day at Phoenix Int’l Raceway attending the Richard Petty driving school, learning to hot-lap a full boogie NASCAR racer!

(Now THAT was the most fun I’ve had with my clothes on…!)

To each his own. I stated (admitted) before we did try/use a “toy”. In our circumstance it really did help us. We were both un-educated about the opposite sex, and how “things” worked.

Unfortunately these “aids” are marketed in a way that almost makes it impossible for a non-pervert to purchase.
 
Does anyone really know if sex toys are against Catholicism? I cannot find info on the net at all. I would really like to know if that are or not because lots of people say they are and others say no they aren’t. 🤷

This story was in the news

suntimes.com/news/nation/408266,CST-NWS-toy31.article

if you do find something that is from the church that says yey or neh can you post it here thanks!
 
journey137 said:
As a current college student, I understand why you parents of soon-to-be college students are wary about sending them off to college considering all the drinking, sex, and other sinful things that are common to college campuses. I see that kind of stuff virtually every day, but doesn’t everyone?

The question I have to ask is, if you raised your children to know right from wrong, educated them about what’s out there in the big bad world (i.e. didn’t overly shelter them and leave them in the dark about how things really are), and if you trust your children, why would you hesitate sending them to a college of their choice? I know my parents worried about me when I left for a state university, but they worried about stuff in general like what if I get in an accident, what if I get raped, what if I’m mugged, and stuff like that. They never worried about my moral choices because they knew I had a “good head on my shoulders” and they trusted me to make the right choices.
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I second this post. This fall, I’m not going to school close to home. My college is five hours away (w/o traffic) and is known for being a crazy party school. But I’m not going into the party lifestyle. I intend to go there for it’s successful premed program and amazing foreign language program. I also love DC and know that it’s the place for me. I know I’m going to have to be strong in my faith, but I have to do that anyway (with many lapsed Catholic and non-Catholic friends, a non-Catholic boyfriend, and a non-Catholic dad). Heck, most kids in my grade are party animals, but I’m just not into that scene. I know God and my parents wouldn’t approve and I think kids look really stupid when they’re drunk and high.

Don’t go to the party. Keep your innocence, it’s almost impossible to get back. I wonder about sex too, what it’ll be like, if it’ll hurt, etc. but I’m good with finding out on the wedding night. Then, I’ll know that the guy loves me, would do anything for me, and wants to give himself to me, and I’ll know that he’s the right person I can give myself too. The other stuff doesn’t matter. As for sex toys, if you find out that it helps your marriage (as long as it’s in love, not neglecting procreation and unity), and you’ve prayed about it, go for it.
 
In the end this would be a matter for a couple to discuss with a spiritual father. IMHO, if you need toys then you aren’t doing it right. Beyond that it could easily become a shortcut to avoiding martial problems that later spiral out of control. Some women have an easier time reaching climax than others, I’m not going into personal details but this isn’t a problem for us. I think if it is a problem using toys as a shortcut denies a married couple an oppurtunity to explore and learn how to please eachother naturally.
 
pumpkinbeast said:
This is the best spot I can think of to post this question… I have been a bit of a lurker on Catholic Forums from quite awhile, but I’ve never posted yet. ^^

Anyways, I was homeschooled for most of my life, and though I wasn’t exactly sheltered, I had never heard much about sex toys until I got to university. Now my residence’s floor is having a Fantasia party (for those who don’t know, that’s where someone brings in an array of sex toys and explains their function to a group of people). I’m not planning on going, because I know most of the stuff will be objects used for masturbation, which I know is a sin… I’m guessing, though I don’t know for sure, that married couples could use sex toys as a form of fore-play, as long as the natural marital act takes place. So, my question is this: Is knowing about how to use sex toys really that essential for better sex? Will I really have to know how to use these things someday? It just seems to me that it would sort of cheapen sex, make it more just plesure orientated… 0.o I’ve very confused. I’m obviously not married, though I am in a serious courting relationship, and my boyfriend and I are seriously considering getting married after I get my degree.
Any opinions would be helpful!!! Thanks in advance!
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My husband and I have tried them…and they are fun and all, but there was something ‘unholy’ about using them…we felt that they were somehow coming between our natural intimacy. Key word being natural. I don’t know if there is anything etched in stone about using toys from a Catholic perspective…but if something leads us away from holiness…perhaps it’s best to toss them.:o
 
The college experience largely depends on the student. No one forces you to get smashed at frat parties and sleep with strangers. You either chose to become involved in that crowd or you don’t. The UW had it’s share of wildness, I avoided it. Some people find it very tempting, but learning how to control yourself and that there are consequences to your actions is part of growing up. Some have to learn that lesson the hard way, and all parent’s can realistically do is prepare their children as well as possible and hope for the best.
 
I’m not asking because I have a problem I’m asking because there was a story in the news (refer to link on first post) because a woman was asked to no longer be a music director at a church because she sold them. I want to know if the church is for toys or against them because I’m trying to understand what happend in this situation and because I would personally like to know what the church is for (or against). :eek:
 
That particular pastor at her church might have thought they were inappropriate and causing scandal, but AFAIK, there’s no official teaching on it. Ask your confessor, they’re usually very helpful.
 
jenjen1026 said:
I’m not asking because I have a problem I’m asking because there was a story in the news (refer to link on first post) because a woman was asked to no longer be a music director at a church because she sold them. I want to know if the church is for toys or against them because I’m trying to understand what happend in this situation and because I would personally like to know what the church is for (or against). :eek:
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People in positions, even small ones, are held to different standards. Is it good to be a sex toy retailer? I think there are better professions, but in the end if it’s causing people in the parish to be scandalized she needs to be removed regardless of whether it’s black letter or not. Just think about it, “Well Sue I’m glad you enjoyed the music during the mass, can I interest you in a pleasure-vibe 5000 dildo or a plastic vagina for your husband?” Might not go well.
 
Thank you very much for the information. I’ve been trying to figure this all out because on other websites there have been many Catholics who do not see the problem. For me (and I guess that parish b/c she started selling some of her products * at a church gathering) and I think those people thought it was inappropriate. Which I agree those things are not meant to be sold at a church function. The problem lies (at least the way I see it) that I have been taught that sex is meant for a husband and wife. It is not some form of recreational activity. What I mean is it seems to me at by adding something like that you are taking away the human aspect of contact. Which is sad more then anything (I don’t mean pathetic I mean saddening) :confused:*
 
I think some of them are moral and others aren’t. Anything contraceptive is totally wrong. (Textured condoms, things like that, are very sinful and wrong.) Anything that degrades the other is sinfully wrong. If one partner is opposed to them, then they are sinfully wrong.

I don’t see why to use them. I mean…I am SO fascinated by my husband’s apperance…and the fact that I am SO loved by him…and SO blessed by God…sex is SO fun and SO pleasurable without them…what more do I need? :confused:
 
Well, I suppose it could be like introducing a third party into the marriage. In my marriage there is no such thing as “bad” sex, or “unsatisfying” sex because I am with my husband, a person who I adore and who adores me, so anything else would distract from that and get in the way.
 
Overrated.

The sharing of one’s total self is more exciting than anything IMHO.
 
leonie said:
lotusblossom;1627983:
well, I think you said it very well in the first post. If you are using sex for pleasure without regard to the unitive and procreative aspects, then you are way off track.

And, frankly, I’m shocked that college students in a dorm would host such a party. I’m assuming that they are all single. Most are supported at least partly by their parents.Their parents would approve of spending money on this?

:eek:

You seem very nervous about sending your kids to college. This is their world, like it or not. They must confront what is before them and act based on what their core beliefs are. They, of course, will continue to develop their beliefs as they mature, but they need room to grow. It is not easy to grow up. We all have had pains that were very hard to experience.The only way to guard them from experience is to cage them. They must be free to make their own mistakes as I’m sure you made.

I have been married to the same woman for 42 years and I am not ashamed to say that I have used sex for pleasure for 42 years. We are deeply in love. I think the Church has been so hung up on sex that it has done undeniable damage to many loving adults. In the 60’s I think that murder was a more forgivable sin than any sin with a sexual component. Very, very sad. God gave us sex to enjoy with our spouse. It is not dirty and if it is only for procreation, I should have stopped my love-making years ago when my wife became unable to conceive. The Church loves to make good spouses, good parents, loving Christians feel very guilty, if they seek pleasure for pleasures sake in the sexual realm. I am not referring to illicit sexual relations but sex between a loving married couple. I feel God is not happy with the spawning of this attitude. God wants us to love our neighbor as ourselves and I am sure this includes true, pure love with our spouse regardless of the exact methodology. Is God that much of a nit-picker. I really doubt it. Let’s relax and love.
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