Question for men-would you leave your wife if she lost her looks?

[Elena321]

!

So while we do not speak in preaching many who read our thoughts think them formed by being catholic. So “is it a sin to poop?” Even being asked in errror provides ammo to the thought that the nature of Catholiscm is to beat one down into such thinking.

I see where you are coming from but there’s are many threads on here, not just mine,that could cause the casual observer/person curious about Catholicism to come to an erroneous conclusion about Catholics.
For example there are heaps of threads about people deeply worried about the “rules” of sex according to the Catholic Church & I can objectively see that some of these thread makers have worry/anxiety issues or are naive etc.This could cause the casual (non catholic) observer to come to a wrong conclusion that being Catholic means having sexual hangups.
Even if so,I think those OP’s should still feel comfortable to post their threads because that’s what they “struggle” with.

I don’t like USA shows like Family Guy or South Park etc that mock people religion.I find it so immature/mean spirited.Many countries we have many people that don’t believe in religions but we don’t have shows that outright make fun of those who do.I don’t understand why such shows are popular in the America-maybe it’s due to the large population?

 

[Elena321]

,

point being it gets better.

Thanks Clay.Glad it got better for you too
Good humour BTW.

 

[claymcdermott]

hehe. You spell “humor” funny. hehe

I think that what LethalMouse is trying to say, is that there are calmer ways, ways that are not as dramatic, maybe that require a little more proofreading and editing, to express the same struggles, that are gonna make people worry about you less; and less importantly, make people not think that Family Guy-esque negative stereotypes about Catholicism are true.
But the BIG benefit of positive and constructive language is that it will help you think clearer and more constructively too.

Like, in stead of saying, “Would you leave your wife if she wasn’t as pretty,” (which, with some reflection, you know the answer from 99.9% of people is “no,” and even if it wasn’t, you know no one would actually admit it, so why ask?) you might say, “I am really feeling insecure about my physical appearance. Sometimes I worry about finding someone, or, once finding, keeping that someone. How do I work on this?”

And in stead of saying something like, “All the Christian men in my age range are taken,” you might step back and go, “Wait; that is not possibly accurate. That is actually, a silly thought that my afraid-brain is thinking because ,my afraid-brain, he is a frigging moron. He sits at the base of my skull and wants me to runaway from or attack things in the Savanna without any tools when I’m upset, because he doesn’t know I live in the now-times…idiot.”
You might then ask the real question which is, “I am having trouble meeting men that I would consider marriage material; with such a small pool, I want to stand out. How do I meet more men of description ‘X’, or make myself into a better potential spouse, or live happy with the way things are?”

Constructive and honest assessments of problems can really get ourselves out of funks…funkii…funka?..mmwhatever. No one ever solved any problem or completed any task ever without doing some of the above. So, I recommend it.

 

[Rosebud77]

It isn’t with me either.

For the majority, it is what marks the coming of age, of being a real adult.

Now this is less so in the Western world, but in Asia, it is practically required for every adult to get married. In fact the Chinese believe that there is a special place in hell for singles.

Ah the Chinese! Sounds a good place!

 

[Rosebud77]

It isn’t with me either.

For the majority, it is what marks the coming of age, of being a real adult.

Now this is less so in the Western world, but in Asia, it is practically required for every adult to get married. In fact the Chinese believe that there is a special place in hell for singles.

I had until now forgotten the one marriage proposal I had!!! When the old man who lived down the road in a caravan ( small trailer) suddenly asked me at a Hogmanay party in front of everyone to marry him!

There was a stunned embarrassed silence

Amazingly I rose to the occasion brilliantly. " well, you breed canaries and I breed cats so I don’t think that would work!"

Poor old dote wanted a good roof over his head was all…

He never heard the end of it

 

[Rosebud77]

I think truly strong people do this in real life, instead of hiding behind a computer screen. I’ve said things here that I’ll never say out loud. I can talk about my past with idk, cutting bravely here. But my family and friends think these scars were from that dang old wardrobe of mine (I came up with a very longwinded excuse, don’t bother)

If not for anonymity, I would never say the things I have said. Isn’t that a sign of a coward, honestly.

I’m 2 different people at the moment-a hopeless one here, and a happy, ‘sarcastic’ girl who pretend that nothing ever bothered her. Lol. I went to school the day after I saw my mother lying dead in front of me. I briefly told my friends about it and pretended to be unbothered. I did my work, laughed at stupid jokes, lived my life as if nothing ever happened. Right after school ended, I went to the church to pray for my mom’s salvation. Now THAT is a coward.

No it is not. It is a blessedly normal thing. I did the same when I was younger than you and my older brother was drowned on holiday. Saw them trying to revive him… It is a way of protecting your hurt is all. A shell. And you went to pray for your mother as I did for my brother This will heal, it really will I promise you. The image is still in my mind of that day on the riverbank but it is calmer now Much more compassionate.

 

[Sarcelle]

I had until now forgotten the one marriage proposal I had!!! When the old man who lived down the road in a caravan ( small trailer) suddenly asked me at a Hogmanay party in front of everyone to marry him!

There was a stunned embarrassed silence

Amazingly I rose to the occasion brilliantly. " well, you breed canaries and I breed cats so I don’t think that would work!"

Poor old dote wanted a good roof over his head was all…

He never heard the end of it

What a brilliant reply. Impressive.

 

[SilverShadow22]

What a brilliant reply. Impressive.

Yes!!! Perfect!!!

If he proposes to me with the ring tied on a ribbon around a little black kitten’s neck…

I AM SOLD!!! Lol!

 

[Rosebud77]

Yes!!! Perfect!!!

If he proposes to me with the ring tied on a ribbon around a little black kitten’s neck…

I AM SOLD!!! Lol!

Nice one! This was one of the old island men who had probably hardly ever been off the island in his life. He used to help so many; had heard when I was new there I needed firewood and arrived at my door carrying a huge axe! I probably gave him home baking as I did many,

There just were no women around to get married to in his youth…and my cottage though simple was warm and snug and he was old,

He never did or said anything in the least inappropriate and the whiskey had been flowing… Just I will never forget the “frozen in time” effect on the room… Glasses half raised, mouths open…

His sister was there and she was mortified…

But at least I can say I HAD AN OFFER!

The whiskey had of course been flwoing thatneeley

 

[EasterJoy]

…" well, you breed canaries and I breed cats so I don’t think that would work!"

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

Is therapy Americans answer to everything?
It just a question.If you feel you have nothing to value to offer you don’t have to answer it.

It seems that is the trend here on CAF. If someone asks a question that doesn’t seem “legitimate” or otherwise to them, then it seems that therapy is the advice given.

I don’t see anything wrong with your question. I am a woman so I can’t answer your initial question.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

Wow, OP, I hope you don’t leave CAF because of other posters here. There is no need to question the OP on why they are asking, as if it were forbidden to make up a thread and ask. Do you have to have a serious reason to post? No. And like many teachers repeat" there is no stupid questions, but only stupid people that don’t ask." This is a Catholic forum community, not CARM. Why nail the OP against a cross?

Exactly.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

I wouldn’t want someone to associate my ideas/threads with being the ideal Catholic but just to see them as one persons questions-in the same way I guess as when other posters have asked on CAF “Does this guy like me” or “I called my mother disgusting…” or “I hate my younger sister because…”-not the most spiritual questions but just related to that thread maker.

I don’t mean for my speech to come across as forceful.I think it comes across as forceful sometimes (in this thread) is because I’m too sensitive.
A less sensitive and wiser person would just ignore any mean comments and focus on/find gratitude in the kind comments but If I see someone post something not kind/not charitable spirit/tone, I then sometimes think that their negative perception/comment of me also represents everyone elses (posting on this thread) perception of me (like they are speaking for everyone) & then i get affected more than should & my response might sound to have some force.
And also because I feel hurt/don’t understand that my threads are targeted but other’s multiple ones aren’t.

I also asked in the thread heading something more lighthearted -“what do you (man) look/looked for in wife” but I feel that got hijacked(distracted) by people that just wanted to “attack” me for still posting about similar topics & only a few people got to answer that…

You also need to remember that those less charitable comments say more about the person saying them than about the person it is being said about.

 

[Sarcelle]

I had until now forgotten the one marriage proposal I had!!! When the old man who lived down the road in a caravan ( small trailer) suddenly asked me at a Hogmanay party in front of everyone to marry him!

There was a stunned embarrassed silence

Amazingly I rose to the occasion brilliantly. " well, you breed canaries and I breed cats so I don’t think that would work!"

Poor old dote wanted a good roof over his head was all…

He never heard the end of it

That just brought to my head visions of Tweety and Sylvester.

You have a Tuxedo cat living with you?

 

[Rosebud77]

That just brought to my head visions of Tweety and Sylvester.

You have a Tuxedo cat living with you?

Tuxedo? New one on me, I have FIVE cats, and then I had TWELVE. I was still breeding Siamese and was known as the “catty wife” (no bad connotations! Just local dialect…) They were never allowed out those early years else the local bird population would have known grief… .

 

[mommy_k]

You also need to remember that those less charitable comments say more about the person saying them than about the person it is being said about.

Yes, and some replies to the uncharitable comments were uncharitable too,and s ays more about them as well.

That’s why this thread went south pretty fast.

 

[Elena321]

Nice one! This was one of the old island men who had probably hardly ever been off the island in his life. He used to help so many; had heard when I was new there I needed firewood and arrived at my door carrying a huge axe! I probably gave him home baking as I did many,

There just were no women around to get married to in his youth…and my cottage though simple was warm and snug and he was old,

He never did or said anything in the least inappropriate and the whiskey had been flowing… Just I will never forget the “frozen in time” effect on the room… Glasses half raised, mouths open…

His sister was there and she was mortified…

But at least I can say I HAD AN OFFER!

The whiskey had of course been flwoing thatneeley

Did you consider it?

 

[Sarcelle]

Tuxedo? New one on me, I have FIVE cats, and then I had TWELVE. I was still breeding Siamese and was known as the “catty wife” (no bad connotations! Just local dialect…) They were never allowed out those early years else the local bird population would have known grief… .

A tuxedo cat is simply a black and white cat.

They look like they are wearing tuxedos because of their black and white coloring.

 

[Rosebud77]

Did you consider it?

NO!

roflol! He was about 70 and … scruffy and the thought… eeeuuurrrkkk!!!

 

[Rosebud77]

A tuxedo cat is simply a black and white cat.

They look like they are wearing tuxedos because of their black and white coloring.

Ah then I have two tuxedos. The girl looks as she has a wimple on though… I have a third black and white but he looks as if someone threw a paint brush at him…

Hear that cat! You are a tuxedo!