Question for the Ladies....Did you ever have this guy

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Thanks, I figured just a “would you like to do lunch sometime?” something along those lines would be neutral enough.
 
JamalChristophr said:
Thanks, I figured just a “would you like to do lunch sometime?” something along those lines would be neutral enough.
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Be more specific so that she doesn’t have to say, “I wouldn’t have lunch with you if you were the last man on earth” in order to say no.
 
I’m that type of guy. I’ve talked to women before and then have had witnesses tell me she was totally flirting with me, but I had no idea.
 
Just ask if she wants to grab coffee with you some time (or ice cream, or whatever). Go from there.
 
Well, he would definitely know she wasn’t interested with that response.
 
I feel more comfortable at lunch, I don’t know why exactly, I would be less nervous, plus there is more time for me to get unnervous during the course of a lunch.
 
Jamal, just do what you are comfortable with. That will allow you to be your more authentic self.
 
OH, I don’t care if she were to say that. I like to feel a person out a bit more. If she likes me I think I can figure it out during lunch. Yes, some will say I’m overly cautious, but that is just who I am. And it will be a substantial step if I just ask. I figure if she likes me, there’s no need to overthink everything, but then the fear part of my brain says no, no. Run, be careful, you are going to fall off a 1000 foot cliff. 😱
 
Some guys are oblivious and others recognize but ignore nonverbal signals, when they like the relationship as it is and don’t want to take it to the next level. It’s flattering and maybe they just want to keep you hooked on the fishing line for awhile.

To stop the mental anguish, I would give a verbal signal and clear the air, but express a weak interest, not that you are head over heels infatuated.

Something like a mild compliment followed by a date question. “Bill, you seem like a good guy/ good egg, would you be interested in going on a date sometime?” Then you can read his response.

I know you asked for girls to respond, but it seemed to cry out for a guys perspective.
 
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With my current boyfriend, it was a bit of a “I am trying to ask you on a date. Are you interested in one, because if you are we can figure out the logistics later?” But then I had pretty good reasons to know he was interested but thought I was not. I wouldn’t have been so blunt with someone else.
 
I guess both of you were dense, lol. I have experiences of being dense; looking back, I was thinking how I could have not known with corresponding facepalm.
 
O yes. I have had this experience. And his lack of initiative despite the fact that he liked me a lot, was a sign… that he was not meant for me!
 
I think that was the main difference in my situation. I was pretty sure he was interested, but thought I wasn’t (he had asked me before, about 2 years prior, and I had said no for personal reasons). So I felt I needed to make my intentions quite explicit.
 
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