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LotusCarsLtd
Guest
Why is it that when a girl shows interest in you and you try talking to them they never respond? Especially when trying to talk online? I really don’t get it.
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PolishK
Guest
I think you might have to elaborate more on this before we can give you a thorough answer.
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prodigalson12
Guest
Ooohh…I know exactly what’s going on there, and know that I understand how these “types” of girls operate, being wiser, I know how to steer clear of them, and so will you.
This is the dynamic of what’s going on. They have a boyfriend, it’s typically off and on, more on then off. They try to farm several guys into their circle, they do this by showing interest, yet keeping a certain distance, and if you stop showing any interest over a long enough period of time, and they have not replaced you in their circle, they will come back, again showing interest, just enough to keep you thinking and remaining available for them.
Once they have enough in their pool, they will press the issue with a few of their top picks, see if they are willing to start something even though there is still something technically going on with the current on and off again. This can continue to the point, she’ll try out a few, and in between, go back to the original idiot…until she finds the next victim, and after a couple of years, the cycle begins again.
That, now, onto the adolecent mindset along the much younger teen age generation works, in regards to your OP, if that is the case, they are flirting to see if you are going to actively pursue them. Apparently women have this crazy thing that tells them that they must be pursued or else the guy isn’t worth their time, so instead of just texting/calling back, do even more, be consistent, and if at all possible, use some imagination., That game ends with either they are really just playing around and are not interested, or your reward being you will catch your prey…stupid I know, but this is how they work at that age, and unfortunately, some women never grow out of it, either for that matter.
So, next time she shows interest, you respond, decide if she’s just playing a game or if she’s just playing you.
With the online or offline thing, just make it clear up front, you are friends, and if you really look at it, friends communicate openly, no games and no gimmicks, if it turns into something emotionally beneficial to both of you in the romance department, that’s far better of a start then the above tactics too many women use these days and too many of us guys buy into.
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Havard
Guest
This.
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symPhonic47
Guest
Dear LotusCars,
I am a lady but I have no idea what this means myself.
You might, if you have not already done so, pour out your heart to God asking him for the mate that you ultimately want in your life…tell Him what you are looking for and then have faith that He will ultimately lead you to the one you should have in your life (even if it is not someone you originally thought of as the kind of person you might like…people can really surprise you in love)…
I wish you many, many years of happily wedded bliss…
Remember, you have to exercise a lot of patience to in finding the right one…patience is a vritue that is always hard to practice…being patient with someone who annoys you…being patient with your own shortcomings…and so forth…and it is very hard to be patient when you are young…pray to God to give you peace, patience and confidence in His plans for you…
All the best,
SymPhonic
I am a lady but I have no idea what this means myself.
You might, if you have not already done so, pour out your heart to God asking him for the mate that you ultimately want in your life…tell Him what you are looking for and then have faith that He will ultimately lead you to the one you should have in your life (even if it is not someone you originally thought of as the kind of person you might like…people can really surprise you in love)…
I wish you many, many years of happily wedded bliss…
Remember, you have to exercise a lot of patience to in finding the right one…patience is a vritue that is always hard to practice…being patient with someone who annoys you…being patient with your own shortcomings…and so forth…and it is very hard to be patient when you are young…pray to God to give you peace, patience and confidence in His plans for you…
All the best,
SymPhonic
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1ke
Guest
A girl who is **sincerely **interested in you, and also of the “no game playing” variety, will respond. The ones who don’t respond really aren’t interested. So, perhaps you’ve misread them.
Of course, this is with limited information. So, if by contacting them you text them 500 times in an hour… well, they don’t respond because that’s creepy.
If you are in the normal range of a generally nice guy who doesn’t obsess and scare people off-- then they aren’t interested if they don’t respond.
Of course, this is with limited information. So, if by contacting them you text them 500 times in an hour… well, they don’t respond because that’s creepy.
If you are in the normal range of a generally nice guy who doesn’t obsess and scare people off-- then they aren’t interested if they don’t respond.
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siena_avila
Guest
I’m a lady. I’d like to help, but like others posted, need more info.
Specifically,
She may be a flirt. She may be scared or unsure of what to do with herself and with you now that her gamble to show she’s interested actually worked! She may be not aware that how she acts when she’s being friendly is actually taken by guys to be flirting (so many embarrassing moments for me until I learned).
I like clarity and hate game playing. Here’s what I wish some guys I know would do: sit with her naturally, and in person, say, “because I heard this/saw this, I’m thinking you’re interested in me. So I like you, too, and would like to start getting to know you in such-and-such-a-way.” Then let her say her peace.
Okay, all that sounds awkward and blunt; I’m no script-writer. I’ll be honest; I’m 25 and in your shoes, only trying to figure out guys. Dating is hard. What helps me is to have a self-confidence just shy of being arrogant and telling myself that any suitor that I like is not really worth it if he doesn’t like me back. Relationships must be equal, and right now, if this girl isn’t communicating, she’s not your equal.
Many blessings as you continue your search!
Specifically,
- How did she show interest initially that led you to approach her?
- How often do you talk to her, in person, and online? Especially online?
She may be a flirt. She may be scared or unsure of what to do with herself and with you now that her gamble to show she’s interested actually worked! She may be not aware that how she acts when she’s being friendly is actually taken by guys to be flirting (so many embarrassing moments for me until I learned).
I like clarity and hate game playing. Here’s what I wish some guys I know would do: sit with her naturally, and in person, say, “because I heard this/saw this, I’m thinking you’re interested in me. So I like you, too, and would like to start getting to know you in such-and-such-a-way.” Then let her say her peace.
Okay, all that sounds awkward and blunt; I’m no script-writer. I’ll be honest; I’m 25 and in your shoes, only trying to figure out guys. Dating is hard. What helps me is to have a self-confidence just shy of being arrogant and telling myself that any suitor that I like is not really worth it if he doesn’t like me back. Relationships must be equal, and right now, if this girl isn’t communicating, she’s not your equal.
Many blessings as you continue your search!
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agapewolf
Guest
OOOORRRRR
if you’re on Catholic match or catholic singles, they may send you an emote, but they can’t respond in any other way if they aren’t a paid member.
Also, someone looking at your profile is NOT “interest”.
Sometimes it can be just that simple.
if you’re on Catholic match or catholic singles, they may send you an emote, but they can’t respond in any other way if they aren’t a paid member.
Also, someone looking at your profile is NOT “interest”.
Sometimes it can be just that simple.
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ave_maria_92
Guest
Sometimes girls don’t want to be rude but really have no interest in you, so they’ll “show interest” but then ignore you if they can. I know I’ve fallen into this before, it’s very awkward. Some girls also like to play games with you. Just move on, either she’s not interested in you or she’s going to keep playing mind games with you. Neither of which constitute a good relationship.
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LilyElain
Guest
How exactly did she show interest is my question…? Not saying she did not, but some ladies, myself included, will respond nicely not to play games, but because we are genuinely interested in getting to know you. Then if you come on too strong, wanting to chat all the time or messaging five times a day (it has happened to me) one might back away…I can get scared off by a young man who comes on way to fast and strong. Which could be his personality, but it would not work with mine…
And she could be playing games as well…trying to hard to be “hard to get”. etc.
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chevalier
Guest
You mean say, something like a dating service, where a girl sends you a note or some “flirt” or “wink” or whatever such but doesn’t reply after you do? It’s too short to tell the reason and it might well be that she found someone else, forgot about having messages you, second-guessed herself, didn’t like something you revealed about yourself in your reply etc., but possibly a lot of other very silly reasons you don’t even want to think about. Generally, you don’t even want to think why it happened. It’s a waste of energy really. Just concentrate your energy on ladies who 1) are interested in you, 2) can handle your being interested in them and, within reason, 3) act reasonably.
In real life situations that don’t involve the Internet, it’s a bit like what Lily describes, i.e. some problem with finding balance between too much and not enough interest.
My personal opinion is that expecting a perfect balance of not enough vs too much interest is simply irrational (expects mind-reading, serves no good purpose, leaves no room for an overall-valuable person to make an honest mistake, no room for explaining a miscommunication, no room for one party initially being more attracted than the other etc.) and removes a lot of opportunities for getting to know valuable people.
In same cases, following the perfect balance routine will basically mean skipping someone who is more interested in us in favour of someone who is less interested in us, followed by months or years of wondering why we are not being treated with unfailing interest.
This does bear some semblance to the infamous bad boy / bad girl problem we’ve been discussing a lot lately, wherein a person falls for uncertainty/mystery/thrill/challenge and later wonders why there’s no reliability, confidence, kindness etc.
People won’t disappear when we want them to and come back on the wind when we want them to, they won’t be perfectly able to give us space just when we want it and closeness/pursuit just when we want it, nor should it be their defining quality (it is my impression that young women tend to define men predominately by this factor). People don’t work like that. Generally, relationships between people are an interplay of the personalities, tendencies and needs of two people and expectations to be able perfectly to read and deliver (and be willing to commit to reading and delivering) our expectations don’t sit too well with this in my opinion because it leaves no room for the other person’s own needs or particular ways of expressing himself. It leaves us at what *we *want and with a timing schedule to follow. It hurts *very much *to be the person expected to anticipate that schedule and subject himself to it and it feels demeaning. My own experience from two relationships where it featured makes me very sensitive to this issue and I would like to present this side of the coin to the ladies who expect the man to keep guessing and guessing and abiding by the schedule. Remember he has feelings too and his own ways of expressing them just as you have yours and he too could come up with a schedule of his own for when he wants you to be there for him (and you have to be there) and when to give him room (and you have to make that room) and it wouldn’t feel that great.
In real life situations that don’t involve the Internet, it’s a bit like what Lily describes, i.e. some problem with finding balance between too much and not enough interest.
My personal opinion is that expecting a perfect balance of not enough vs too much interest is simply irrational (expects mind-reading, serves no good purpose, leaves no room for an overall-valuable person to make an honest mistake, no room for explaining a miscommunication, no room for one party initially being more attracted than the other etc.) and removes a lot of opportunities for getting to know valuable people.
In same cases, following the perfect balance routine will basically mean skipping someone who is more interested in us in favour of someone who is less interested in us, followed by months or years of wondering why we are not being treated with unfailing interest.
This does bear some semblance to the infamous bad boy / bad girl problem we’ve been discussing a lot lately, wherein a person falls for uncertainty/mystery/thrill/challenge and later wonders why there’s no reliability, confidence, kindness etc.People won’t disappear when we want them to and come back on the wind when we want them to, they won’t be perfectly able to give us space just when we want it and closeness/pursuit just when we want it, nor should it be their defining quality (it is my impression that young women tend to define men predominately by this factor). People don’t work like that. Generally, relationships between people are an interplay of the personalities, tendencies and needs of two people and expectations to be able perfectly to read and deliver (and be willing to commit to reading and delivering) our expectations don’t sit too well with this in my opinion because it leaves no room for the other person’s own needs or particular ways of expressing himself. It leaves us at what *we *want and with a timing schedule to follow. It hurts *very much *to be the person expected to anticipate that schedule and subject himself to it and it feels demeaning. My own experience from two relationships where it featured makes me very sensitive to this issue and I would like to present this side of the coin to the ladies who expect the man to keep guessing and guessing and abiding by the schedule. Remember he has feelings too and his own ways of expressing them just as you have yours and he too could come up with a schedule of his own for when he wants you to be there for him (and you have to be there) and when to give him room (and you have to make that room) and it wouldn’t feel that great.
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chevalier
Guest
In one of my past relationships, the girl had little qualms making any and all decisions regarding our time together completely on her own and completely in ways revolving around her alone. Nothing would change her on that, no matter how horrible I seemed to feel about it. However, when it came to a time that I, out of necessity, became more invested in my hobbies and less dependent on her, including my need for her company diminishing accordingly, she reacted far more strongly than I had before and she felt horrible. She then said she understood how I must have felt before (which wasn’t my intent because I wasn’t trying to hurt her back, just adjust). This might have been one of the factors leading to the relationship’s not working out in the end because I think we never recovered from mutual rejection wounds. So, ladies, walk a mile in the guy’s shoes before expecting him to guess and play by your ideal unilateral timings. It won’t result in a happy relationship (for him and ultimately for both of you) otherwise.
It won’t result in a happy relationship (for him and ultimately for both of you) otherwise.
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flyingfish
Guest
You give so little detail it’s impossible to answer.
Are you talking to people on messenger and they take too long to get back to you? Maybe they are AFK? Maybe they have visitors? Maybe they are working or doing homework? Maybe they are watching a movie? Maybe they are reading? Maybe they are talking to others?
Maybe you are reading too much into something? I will sometimes ignore people I like when they message me simply because I don’t feel like talking to them at the time.
On the other hand, you use the word “never”. If after a long time they have never responded to you, then how do you infer they showed interest?
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