Can you tell me why it always takes a man and a woman to have a baby? Why is this a universal norm in the world and always been so in human history?
If you say a lesbian couple can use the artificial insemination method, they could not have done it without a man donating his sperm to fertilize the female’s egg. And the child is and always will be his biological child whether the child ever knows him or not.
If you say two homosexual men can use a surrogate mother, again, they need the opposite sex for a baby to be produced by these artificial attempts at procreation.
If a homosexual couple adopts a child, that child is the product of the biological union of male to female.
Why can’t two sperm produce a child without a female egg? Why can’t two female eggs produce a child without a male sperm?
Remember in this discussion there are quite a few Catholic couples who use other men’s sperm and other women’s eggs (or they become surrogates) as well as in-vitro fertilization to have children. People who adopt are using “other people’s means” of having children and given them a home because biology alone doesn’t make a parent. Biology SHOULD make a parent but we live in fallen world and sometimes people don’t live the way we tell them to live. And sometimes that’s a good thing. There have been times when I KNEW what was best for someone and turned out I was wrong.
I think gay marriage becomes an issue because people become afraid that it change marriage in general and, that churches will be forced to perform such marriages. Nothing can be farther from the truth on either account.
I’m not taking a side, merely stating a few simple facts:
- No one can ever trash the sanctity of marriage more than the heterosexual community has done. Most of us as a result of sin and mistakes, but there are many who have deliberately done things that have made marriage a mockery.
- Churches are always free to accept or reject people who apply for marriage. Reasons do not have to be given and as long as it falls under religion you are free to state you will not marry any two people who are of the same gender. Most places where this is legal have avoided religion altogether. They have approved civil unions since the issue for most same-sex couples is inheritance and medical decision-making powers, property rights, etc. A government union can suffice without dragging churches into it.
- Since the Catholic Church has strict rules on what makes a union a “marriage” and sacramental, I really shake my head at the hype. Any such union done in a Catholic Church would be invalid by Church and Canon Law. So what if the entire nation has same-sex weddings, they aren’t considered valid. Just like the wedding I had in a banquet hall with a Jewish man. We divorced and that “marriage” wasn’t a marriage at all, it was invalid. Since these are not “marriages” why is everyone so worried? Today millions of people walk around saying they are “married” and in the eyes of the Catholic Church they are not for one reason or another. Is this really going to change the taste of your coffee or the quality of your internet service? Your day-to-day life won’t change at all and if you raise your children to be devout Catholics, it shouldn’t touch your corner of the world at all.
My son is gay. I love him and am very proud of who he is as a man. He walks picket lines for animal rights, he has a genius level IQ and he doesn’t run around picking up men. He has a college degree, works very hard, and is the most compassionate person I know. He doesn’t seek to change your faith. He doesn’t want to get in your face or push you (I know many on BOTH sides of this issue who do this) and he doesn’t care if you like him or not, agree with him or not.
Maybe when gays can contract civil unions the ones who are committed and feel that tug to live a better life will be drawn to God, and see things differently. The fastest way to get people to never darken the door of a Catholic Church is to tell them you know better than they do how they should live. Whether it’s true or not, it’s not welcome and I don’t like it when people do that to me.
If Catholics put 1/2 as much time into living the Catholic faith and building up their own community as they do tearing down the gay community they would probably win over a lot of the gay community. How about we put some of this wheel spinning energy into loving each other (have you read the attacking that goes on in these forums–the catcalling the judgement, the horrible attacking–is this Jesus?) and finding ways to become saints.
Mother Angelica said it best, “We are all called to become great saints. Don’t miss your opportunity.”
If we spend all our time focusing on what we hate and what makes us angry we will be consumed by rage and hatred. If we focus on becoming saints, we will be doing God’s will. The choice is simple.
Lorrie
