Question for those with fertility issues

[BrokenFortress]

I really hope this isn’t too personal of a question or a bad question to ask. I am just honestly curious, and another thread about how long people waited after marriage to get pregnant got me wondering…

For those who have had fertility issues, was it known before you got married? As in, were you charting prior to the wedding and if so, did you notice anything wrong with your cycle?

I only ask because we’re getting married the end of this month and both are virgins. I’ve been charting for the past 5 months or so and have not noticed anything odd in my cycles. I ovulate within a 2 or 3 day period and my luteal phase is what is considered “normal”. I’ve always been regular even when I wasn’t charting. Even when I first started my cycles way back when I was always regular, compared to my sister who wasn’t.

So I’m just curious as to those who have had issues, did you know? Or did it seem like you had regular cycles but still had issues? Do issues run in your family?

Again, I sincerely hope this is not a bad question or offends anyone. I just don’t have many Catholic friends or know of people who use NFP to ask questions!

God bless you guys!

 

[TraderTif]

Well, in my case, yes I knew prior to marriage. (In fact, I’m still not married yet, lol.) But I basically knew from the age of 14 or so, since nothing about my “cycles” ever looked the way it was “supposed” to . (And I’m 29 now…so I LONG ago lost the hope that I just hadn’t “matured” yet.)

I’ve used the Creighton method to chart for the last few years. (And gone to the Pope Paul VI Institute, to seek treatment.) My charts are helpful for the doctors, I guess…but they just look like one giant mess to me.

 

[meltoine]

I have no IF issues, thank God, but I thought you might be interested in this story:

I friend of mine got engaged a couple of years ago. She and her FI took an ST class and began charting. Her charts were all kinds of wonky, so she went to see her doctor. It turns out that she had some sort of defect in her ovaries and never ovulated.

At first she felt horrible. She and her FI both wanted kids very badly and she felt like she was letting him down because her body didn’t “work”. He, bless his heart, loved her regardless and still very much wanted to marry her.

She actually ended up taking a break from the relationship for a couple of weeks to wrap her head around the situation. She spent a lot of time talking to her pastor and a few friends who were finally able to convince her that her FI truly loved her and wanted to be with her regardless.

The got married as scheduled and now have two beautiful adopted children.

 

[ishnianqueen]

As the OP of the thread you referenced you already know that we haven’t had any children yet. But…

DH had mumps when he was a kid, which apparently CAN affect male fertility by reducing the formation of spern. There might be fertility problems with the man that you don’t find out about and have no way of knowing until after you’re married and trying to have kids. Not like he’s got a cycle to chart or anything.

 

[PatriceA]

There could be any number of fertility problems that wouldn’t necessarily show up on the chart. It could be underlining problems with you, with your spouse or even a combination of the two that wouldn’t present themselves until after you were married and trying to conceive. You could experience secondary infertility after having your first baby.

The bottom line is you can be proactive and chart and do what you can, but its also all in God’s hands as well. That’s why its called a miracle, having a baby. And sometimes God has other plans in store for the couple to form their family, such as adoption or even foster parenting.

Trust God, He is always working for our better good.

 

[Amber2]

Hi there
Boy, do I wish I had charted before marriage. But I did not even know such a thing existed. After an ectopic pregnancy followed by more than a year of torment ( crying every time I had my period) I finally got so desperate that I found out about Dr.Hilgers and the Creighton Model. My charts instantly showed that I have big hormonal issues.
So great for you that you are ahead of the game.

Amber (still charting, hoping and praying)

 

[faithfully]

Hi… If you are regular, and KNOW you are ovulating. You are probably fine. There are other things that can be wrong, and you won’t know it until you’re actively trying and nothing happens.

Good idea to chart before you start trying to have a baby. Doctors will be more proactive with you if you have information ready for them.

In the medical world, they won’t even bother testing DH until you’ve gone through all the tests, some invasive, determine there’s basically NOTHING wrong, and then BAM! Then you find out DH has a problem.

There are things that will effect your fertility, the biggest among them (besides wacked out hormones) seem to be stress, lack of sleep, exercises, and bad diet.

And all I can say is… DON’T WORRY about it… LOL, I know, the dreaded statement. But it’s soooooo true. The more you worry about, the more you interfere with any possible success…

Congratz on your pending vows, Do all you can to be relaxed and enjoy and therefore REMEMBER your big day!!!

 

[kevinsgirl]

No, I didn’t know I had fertility issues before I got married. I had horrible periods, but regular cycles. I ovulate and get pregnant…just can’t hold onto the pregnancies. I’ve used NFP to chart ever since I’ve gotten married and I have pretty nice charts with slightly later ovulation (usually between days 15 and 17) followed by a luteal phase of 12-15 days. I have progesterone problems but those were diagnosed by bloodwork.

 

[BrokenFortress]

thank you everyone for your thoughts and (name removed by moderator)ut

 

[SSG_Schwartz]

On a related issue, I have been married for over ten years. My wife and I have known since early on that we both have fertility issues. My wife does not desire sexual contact and we have been living nearly celibate for several years. She wants to look into adoption, and I want children, but I think we should be trying to have children naturally in addition to pursuing adoption.

Can we maintain our celibate life and still adopt, or should we be trying to conceive while we are going through the adoption process?

Thanks for any (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[paulaf]

We had fertility issues that were not evident before marriage. I was regular as clockwork, too. There was no indicator of problems until ‘prematurity’ and ‘miscarriage’ entered our vocabularies.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

For those who have had fertility issues, was it known before you got married?

No.

As in, were you charting prior to the wedding and if so, did you notice anything wrong with your cycle?

Yes, we were charting, but nothing was noted as being weird or anything.

I only ask because we’re getting married the end of this month and both are virgins. I’ve been charting for the past 5 months or so and have not noticed anything odd in my cycles. I ovulate within a 2 or 3 day period and my luteal phase is what is considered “normal”. I’ve always been regular even when I wasn’t charting. Even when I first started my cycles way back when I was always regular, compared to my sister who wasn’t.

Totally sounds like us, 7.5-8 years ago. Try not to worry too much about possible infertility until you get there. Being aware of it is good, since you don’t want to make the mistake of taking your fertility for granted, like I did.

So I’m just curious as to those who have had issues, did you know? Or did it seem like you had regular cycles but still had issues?

I had a luteal phase defect. My luteals were consistently in the 12 day range (above 9 is considered normal), but I couldn’t get pregnant until they stretched to 15-17. My NFP instructors couldn’t figure out what was wrong by looking at my charts; I just had to figure it out myself. I actually read about luteal phase defects here at CAF, and so tried lengthening my luteals. It only took maybe 2-3 cycles to get my luteals up to 15-17 days. Once that happened, BAM! Babies.

Do issues run in your family?

Nope; quite the opposite, actually. People in my family (and my husband’s) tend to get pregnant by passing their spouses in the hallway. We’ve had several “conceptions-despite-artificial-birth-control” babies in the extended family, too. It was rough being the only one in the family with issues, and I’m incredibly thankful it was such an easy fix.

 

[ishnianqueen]

I had a luteal phase defect. My luteals were consistently in the 12 day range (above 9 is considered normal), but I couldn’t get pregnant until they stretched to 15-17. My NFP instructors couldn’t figure out what was wrong by looking at my charts; I just had to figure it out myself. I actually read about luteal phase defects here at CAF, and so tried lengthening my luteals. It only took maybe 2-3 cycles to get my luteals up to 15-17 days. Once that happened, BAM! Babies.

I didn’t even know that existed or that you could extend your luteal phase. if you don’t mind my asking, how exactly do you extend your luteal phase and how does that help?

 

[faithfully]

I didn’t even know that existed or that you could extend your luteal phase. if you don’t mind my asking, how exactly do you extend your luteal phase and how does that help?

ditto!

 

[Truly_Beloved]

I didn’t even know that existed or that you could extend your luteal phase. if you don’t mind my asking, how exactly do you extend your luteal phase and how does that help?

I was able to extend my luteal phase by eating better. I think there’s a specific vitamin/fat ratio that controls the LP. Being deficient in one of the B vitamins (12, I think?) as well as Omega-3 can cause an LP defect. Extending the LP aids in implantation. My endometrium was deteriorating before the baby had a chance to burrow into the lining. Technically, according to my NFP book, 9-12 days after ovulation should be sufficient time for Baby to make her way through the fallopian tube and into the uterus. In my case, for whatever reason, a minimum of 15 days is required. Despite my small size, maybe I have really long fallopian tubes, making the journey longer? It’s so strange.

 

[Lutheranteach]

Too many here are thinking infertility are primarily female issues…a great number of men have fertility issues in their marriages as well. The sad part is that many low sperm counts are from causes unknown.

 

[Trinity117]

There were no “fertility issues” in my family. But I married at 36 years old, experienced 5 pregnancies, the last produced my old daughter, who is now 11 years old.

 

[Rach620]

I really hope this isn’t too personal of a question or a bad question to ask. I am just honestly curious, and another thread about how long people waited after marriage to get pregnant got me wondering…

For those who have had fertility issues, was it known before you got married? As in, were you charting prior to the wedding and if so, did you notice anything wrong with your cycle?

No, we did not have known fertility issues before we got married. I had been charting for about eight months, and had some “unusual” cycles (various lengths, tending to be longer, and I always had cramping/heavy menstruation problems), but nothing too alarming. We actually tried to avoid pregnancy for a few months after the wedding, thinking that I had normal fertility, especially at my age (22 on our wedding day).

I only ask because we’re getting married the end of this month and both are virgins. I’ve been charting for the past 5 months or so and have not noticed anything odd in my cycles. I ovulate within a 2 or 3 day period and my luteal phase is what is considered “normal”. I’ve always been regular even when I wasn’t charting. Even when I first started my cycles way back when I was always regular, compared to my sister who wasn’t.

Have you had your charts reviewed by an expert instructor or by a doctor? If you have these worries, that would be my first bit of advice for you. There’s no need to get yourself worried over something that you could probably find an answer to if you asked the right person.

So I’m just curious as to those who have had issues, did you know? Or did it seem like you had regular cycles but still had issues?

Everyone is different. Every woman’s ‘normal’ is different, and sometimes the indicator of an underlying problem that can affect fertility is very subtle (such as a short luteal phase, as Truly described, or a pattern of tail-end brown bleeding, or unusually long cycles…). For me, I thought my normal was my normal and was healthy…it wasn’t.

Do issues run in your family?

My mother and my grandmother did not have problems, but I have aunts who have had problems. That’s about as close as it gets…

I think it’s worth repeating again what others have said–don’t worry yourself too much about infertility problems before you’re married. If you think you have them, look into it (or try to get pregnant!). You can’t plan for everything in life, and infertility is one of those things…

 

[Rach620]

I didn’t even know that existed or that you could extend your luteal phase. if you don’t mind my asking, how exactly do you extend your luteal phase and how does that help?

Diet, nutrition, and hormone balance. Check out Marilyn Shannon’s book Fertility, Cycles & Nutrition (on CCLI’s website or Amazon), for starters!