Question from Confused Fiance

[kage_ar]

Get a copy of Christopher West’s “Good News About Sex and Marriage” - read it, then read it with her

 

[OldAgeGuru]

The feminist propaganda has ruined so many otherwise fine, intelligent young women these days. They’ve been groomed from day one to be career, career, career women, and that’s it. This is a huge red flag and you need to get out of this relationship.

I’m confused… is her wanting to have a career a huge red flag or that she doesn’t want children the red flag?

 

[drifting_away]

I’m confused… is her wanting to have a career a huge red flag or that she doesn’t want children the red flag?

It’s (the feminist movement) groomed young women to suppress their maternal instincts and think that defering motherhood is the right and proper way to go about life. They are, instead, encouraged to become CEOs, which isn’t compatable with motherhood.

Sad that even devout Christians have been brainwashed by the feminists. The Church doesn’t argue (my guess) because it’s more money in their coffers. It’s hardly the Christian ideal for a woman to act like a man, and leave the raising of her children to strangers.

That’s my point. Middle class, responsible women these days don’t even think of having children until they are 30.

 

[OldAgeGuru]

Well, I can’t say I agree drifting away.

 

[catholicsingles]

our prayers are with you, but one reality is to come to understand that she is not perfect for you as you stated…if she is mad at God and/or doesn’t want kids yet, she is not a good marriage candidate…period.

with that said, it will be tough to accept, but if you pray about it you’ll understand it. that is not to say she may never be ready, but simply that she isn’t right now and you should let her go and sort out a few things before you move any further down the marriage road. being “in love” is a hard place to be when you have to make decisions like this…

the biggest mistake you can make is to try and push her at this point… you will have to let her go without expectations that she will come around right away…it has to be on her own time, if ever. good luck!

 

[duskyjewel]

But the problem is she is a little mad at God right now (which is a major problem I realize and am trying to work through it with her).

Oh, Lord. I can’t tell you the alarm bells that went off in my head when I read this! My mother has been “mad at God” for more than 20 years. She is selfish, self-involved, destructive to herself and others, and I think if she could go back and do her life over, she probably wouldn’t have gotten married or had children. She sees any relationship that puts any demand on her at all as something to run away from. She destroyed our family by divorcing my father when I was 8 years old, and this was after several times where she ran away from him and back to her family 2 states away, taking my brother and I with her for months at a time. After the divorce, she actively poisoned our minds against him and took us out of state away from him. When she finally messed up her life bad enough that she had to send us back to him, she disappeared for over a year and a half. We didn’t get a card, a phone call, nothing. Then she suddenly moved back to our city and succeeded in wedging me off from him and getting me to move in with her. It took me 3 years after that to extricate myself from the unhealthy mess of our relationship and get out on my own. She wanted me to be her emotional dumping ground, not her daughter. She says she got “mad at God” after her mother died of cancer, but I think that’s just an excuse. She spent much of my youth filling my head with negative propaganda about the Catholic Church and actively discouraging my faith. She thinks individual Catholics can be good people, but that the institutional Church itself has nothing good to offer the world and just wants to control people.

I realize this is all very individual and personal, and may have absolutely nothing to do with your fiancee. But, when I hear that sentiment of being “mad at God” this is what comes up in my head. We all feel certain things sometimes, but someone who actively nurtures that sentiment and lives in it… bad news in my experience.