@RebeccaJ:
I was going to ask if you could expand on your first post, but I think your second post helped me to understand it a bit more. I’ll read the encyclical letter you posted. Even the two paragraphs you pasted is pretty deep. I was about to ask if you could expand on it - or rather, put it in simpler terms.
I think that one thing I’ve been weak on is hope. That’s tough for me. My whole life, whenever I’ve pinned my hope on something it’s been dashed. Although, as I just typed this, God isn’t “something,” He is God. And has been stated, Jesus Christ is a firm foundation - upon which we can pin our hopes.
And yes, it is a journey. And now that it seems I have found my way I am soooooooo scared to lose it.
@Godfollower:
I really appreciated your post. And your using a “widget” in your example is perfect. It helped me to get specific, while being general. If that makes sense.

And is very comforting.
I wish I had put the correct word, “agree,” in my first post. Belief is not in question for me. Agreement, on the other hand, is something I struggle with. I have that chartreuse widget even though I don’t care too much for it. I mean, you hit spot on with where I am. I completely understand where church teaching is coming from with different things, but it doesn’t mean I agree. I like to tell people, disagreement does not mean misunderstanding. Infact, I have found that in order to have a fully formed disagreement, a person actually has to understand something.
As to my boyfriend’s advice, I didn’t write out the whole context. When he made that comment I said there is no way I’m going to stop worrying about my salvation. But he’s great because he can see the forest when I’m stuck staring at a tree. The situation surrounding that comment was that my worrying was beginning to affect my life. And I think that’s going a bit overboard.
@Dtmccameron:
You’ve said much that was spot on. And I agree, I need to talk to a priest about this. I plan on it.
To everyone, thank you for your posts. I appreciate it. Thinking I may be a hypocrite is something I struggle with, but I was willing to be one if it meant that I could stay in communion with God.
One of the things I was thinking of is, if we go around saying, “faith, without works, is dead,” isn’t my action of obeying the Church and her teaching a form of “work?” Isn’t this how I am showing my faith? I believe so. Especially since I have made some lifestyle changes to be in alignment with God.
It’s interesting how easy it is to give up things when it’s for what you really want, and what you really want is a chance to see God.