bookgirl:
It seems to me, after having read on other boards, that there is disagreement between non-Catholics as to whether after having been “saved”, the person is then granted assurance of salvation. Some believe that it’s true, others believe, like us, that no one can take your salvation from you once given by God, but you can voluntarily give it up yourself. For the NC’s who do believe this (that we DON’T have assurance of eternal salvation), what constitutes “giving it up”? Does my question make sense? Catholics believe in the distinction between deadly and non-deadly sin (mortal, venial), and those classifications are clearly defined. But as far as I know, the doctrine of mortal sin is exclusively Catholic, correct?
Hi bookgirl, I’ll give it a crack here. Personally, I’m torn on the issue. I see good scriptural support on both sides of the issue, and I don’t think both can be right, so there has to be some middle ground.
I’ll give you a little background on myself. I was raised in a Christian home and was saved when I was around 8 years old. I followed Jesus and all was well until around high school and shortly after. I went into the military, and tried to hang on, but having no spiritual support whatsoever, the weeds took over and I fell away.
But me being the bullheaded snot that I am, I couldn’t just leave it at falling into sin. I had to actually start reading and studying other religions. I told myself I was “searching” and watned to form my own beliefs. But in my rebellious nature, all that meant was doing exactly the opposite of what I had been taught as a child.
So I totally renounced my faith. Declared myself an athiest and denied that Jesus was the son of God, etc etc etc…I lived like this for a good part of 12 years. Doing about every type of self indulgance one can think of. But slowly and surely I was ruining my life.
Around a year ago, after my marriage was about to be ruined, have problems at work, etc…I knew I was ruining my life and doing things “my way” just wasn’t working. So when I was wandering around the mall one day, I stopped into a bookstore and bought a Bible, went home and started reading in John. After a co uple days of reading, I finally got up the courage to ask God for his forgiveness and tearfully threw myself at his feet.
So I got my life right with God. Got on a pattern of daily devotions and bible study. God has totally turned my life around and about 6 months ago, I knew he was calling me into full time ministry. So I"m studying ministry part time in school right now.
So in answer to the question. Was I really saved? Yes, there is no doubt in my mind I was saved as a child and through school.
Did I lose my salvation? Well, thats a tough one. I know that during that falling away time, I wanted nothing to do with God period, I didn’t want to hear it at all. I would ridicule and embarass anyone who tried to witness to me. I got angry at the mention of Church…perhaps it was the Holy Spirit trying to convict me…not sure
Either way, I was in a VERY dangerous place at that time. Part of me does think that had I died at that time, I would have been lost for sure. Another part thinks that I still had the Holy Spirit tugging away at me which is why I eventually came back.
The part that makes me wonder is that God gave us free will to choose him. Once we chosen him, it doesn’t seem like God’s nature to “force” us to stay with him if we say that we no longer want/need him or have anything to do with him. I don’t see scripture that would support God saying “You’ll be with me whether you like it or not!” So I’m kind of leaning in that direction.
If you want to know when that occurs, if that is the case, I think it likely occured the moment I said that Jesus was only a man and that God did not exist.
I just can’t think Him enough for his unending grace and forgiveness to take me back.
I hope that helps.
Tim