Question on Chastity

[Arwen037]

This is the one big issue I have as far as chastity issues go. People always say “would you do it if Jesus was in the room (implying corporally with eyes watching)?” My answer is no, but if I was married I wouldn’t be comfortable with that either. So how do you resolve that issue?

 

[Tim_Kirchoff]

This is the one big issue I have as far as chastity issues go. People always say “would you do it if Jesus was in the room (implying corporally with eyes watching)?” My answer is no, but if I was married I wouldn’t be comfortable with that either. So how do you resolve that issue?

Outside of the Sacrament of Marriage, “it” is always wrong. But in the Sacrament of Marriage, it is entirely proper. “It” is an essential part of marriage- that is- the conjugal act with openness to children.

 

[Arwen037]

I am using “it” here to refer to anything at all sexual in nature, or even kissing.

 

[Tim_Kirchoff]

I am using “it” here to refer to anything at all sexual in nature, or even kissing.

If you love a person, and are committed to them in the Sacrament of Marriage, there should be no reason to be at all ashamed.

I think I need some clarification here. Why are you asking these questions?

 

[Tim_Kirchoff]

If you love a person, and are committed to them in the Sacrament of Marriage, there should be no reason to be at all ashamed.

I think I need some clarification here. Why are you asking these questions?

I’m sorry, that was a bit awkward. If you’d rather not say, that’s fine:blush:

Marriage is the miracle of taking two persons, a man and a woman, and making them one person. “It” is one form of expressing this union.

 

[MH84]

**If you love a person, and are committed to them in the Sacrament of Marriage, there should be no reason to be at all ashamed. **
I think I need some clarification here. Why are you asking these questions?

You are right here, but I can understand what the OP means?

You still wouldn’t want to have relations with your spouse in front of other people would you even if you are a married person would you?

 

[kage_ar]

You are right here, but I can understand what the OP means?

You still wouldn’t want to have relations with your spouse in front of other people would you even if you are a married person would you?

Scripture tells us that we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. When we realize that everything we do - EVERYTHING - is seen by God the Father, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, angels, the Saints in Heaven… that these are real living loving caring beings, it makes us take stock of all we do.

 

[MH84]

I agree.

I just say that I can understand what the OP is getting at even though it seems like a strange question.

 

[CarrieH]

I think when people use that phrase about “would you do it if Jesus was in the room,” they are talking about whether Jesus would be offended by the morality of the actions in question, not about having Jesus as a literal spectator of our every deed (although He knows all of our deeds and the motives behind them). A person in any state of life engaging in certain bodily and hygienic functions would be mortified to have Jesus or anyone else watching; it’s not about that. But consider that a married couple being intimate together would not offend Jesus, as long as they are open to life, but a non-married couple engaging in similar activities would be offensive to Him.

Perhaps a better thing to say is, “Would you do it if the girl’s father was in the room?” If you were married to the girl, you could excuse yourselves and go home to do whatever, but if you were only dating her and Papa was there, you’d better be good…or be able to run fast!

 

[Arwen037]

CarrieH got the gist of what I meant, thank you. Although I am the girl. Although I’m not sure why it’s a strange question. To decide whether or not you should be doing something people always give the advice I mentioned in my first post. But if it rules out everything ever, does that mean I should be celibate in marriage? If that’s how I read it, and I know the church doesn’t incourage celibacy in marriage, then it seems to invalidate the advice. I’m just trying to figure out to apply it correctly.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

CarrieH got the gist of what I meant, thank you. Although I am the girl. Although I’m not sure why it’s a strange question. To decide whether or not you should be doing something people always give the advice I mentioned in my first post. But if it rules out everything ever, does that mean I should be celibate in marriage? If that’s how I read it, and I know the church doesn’t incourage celibacy in marriage, then it seems to invalidate the advice. I’m just trying to figure out to apply it correctly.

I can see what you are saying about Jesus being there and seeing you when you are married and having sex with your spouse. Is it ackward? No. Not if you understand what the marital embrace is all about. Jesus gave Himself to the Church just as we give to our spouse. Jesus gave his body for us just as we give our bodies for our spouses. It is a beautiful thing.

The reason that you may be looking at it as if Jesus would be offended is because of the secular view of what sex is in this day and age. Sex is portrayed exactly the opposite of what it is in the media. What you see out there is not sex, it is not what sex is about.

Sexual intercourse (or the acts associated with it) within a marriage are a beautiful expression of completely giving of yourself to your spouse. It is a renewal of your wedding vows. Telling your spouse that you are completely theirs. That you give them everything that you have and everything that you are. Just as Christ did.

At mass you will recall the priest saying the words that Christ spoke “Take this all of you and eat it this is my body given up for you.” Now place that in the context of the marital embrace, telling your spouse “take this, this is my body given up for you.” (Sorry Christopher West does a better job of linking the two together)

If you want to know more about this, read any book or listen to any cd by Christopher West. He explains this in great detail, in a way that I cannot explain.

I once heard a priest quote Scott Hahn in saying that “Sex is not great, Frosted Flakes are grrrrrrrrreat, Sex is not good, Campbells soup is mmm mmm good, Sex is holy”

God wants to be there in that bedroom and share that beautiful experience with us. At the time that we are uniting with our spouse, opening ourselves up to each other and to the possibility of life. What a beautiful thing, why would Jesus not want to be there?