Question on confession/Holy Communion

[KingdomSon]

Greetings brother and sisters in Christ,

Here is my situation. I’ll soon be beginning initiation into Mother Church. I’m in a second civil marriage, which I know the church does not recognize (for now) as valid. I will also soon beginning my annulment process… Now in the mean time because I am fully commited to becoming Catholic I have taken a personal vow of abstinence and have decided to live with my civil wife as brother and sister until this issue can be resolved.

Now my question is this… will I under these circumstances be able to go to confession and when intitiated into the Church (hopefully next year), be able to take of Holy Communion?

Thanks in advance and God bless.

Kingdomson

 

[ValPal]

If you are not sinning, then you should be able to receive the Eurcharist. Catholics waiting for convalidation do this all the time.

The caveat is that you currently are not Catholic, and you’ll need to speak to a priest for guidance on your particular case.

 

[zenith15]

I had this same situation and I am awaiting an annulment, and my current legal husband and I are living as brother and sister while we await it. We have a young child and so are not required by the Church to live separately during this time, and I was able to become confirmed and take the eucharist. This may not work for some couples, but we are older (48 and 60) and my husband has an illness that makes the marital act difficult for him right now anyhow, so it’s not as hard as it might be for some. Realize however that it can be a long wait. I have been waiting already for 20 months.

 

[KingdomSon]

Greetings zenith15,

Thanks for reply.

I had this same situation and I am awaiting an annulment, and my current legal husband and I are living as brother and sister while we await it. We have a young child and so are not required by the Church to live separately during this time, and I was able to become confirmed and take the eucharist. This may not work for some couples, but we are older (48 and 60) and my husband has an illness that makes the marital act difficult for him right now anyhow, so it’s not as hard as it might be for some. Realize however that it can be a long wait. I have been waiting already for 20 months.

I as of yet have not submitted my annulment as I have not yet completed the questions.

We have no children living here (all grown up and out of house), so I’m not sure if that will have an impact on my situation to live together as brother and sister.

I’m very committed to coming into Mother church, so if I have to separate to be able to partake of the sacraments of reconciliation and holy communion, then I will have to begin to put the wheels in motion in order to be able to partake of my Lord and make a good confession.

I should be speaking to parish priest this week, and will tell him my resolution and resolve.

Hopefully I will be allowed to function as a full member and partake of the wonderful sacraments Mother church has to offer her children.

Thanks for responding. Best wishes to you and your husband. God bless you both richly.

Kingdomson

 

[zenith15]

Greetings zenith15,

Thanks for reply.

I as of yet have not submitted my annulment as I have not yet completed the questions.

We have no children living here (all grown up and out of house), so I’m not sure if that will have an impact on my situation to live together as brother and sister.

I’m very committed to coming into Mother church, so if I have to separate to be able to partake of the sacraments of reconciliation and holy communion, then I will have to begin to put the wheels in motion in order to be able to partake of my Lord and make a good confession.

I should be speaking to parish priest this week, and will tell him my resolution and resolve.

Hopefully I will be allowed to function as a full member and partake of the wonderful sacraments Mother church has to offer her children.

Thanks for responding. Best wishes to you and your husband. God bless you both richly.

Kingdomson

The impression I got from speaking to a Canon lawyer as well as our parish expert on annulments was that if you have a child still at home, you may remain together but live as brother and sister to avoid scandal to the child. However, it may well be that you can do this regardless, while you wait. I know that paperwork takes ages–it’s HUGE–but it’s best to knock it out as fast as you can, as the wait after turning it in is a looooong one.

Blessings to you

 

[1ke]

This would be a pastoral decision on the part of your priest. We cannot answer you. It is up to your priest to make that call after discussion and discernment with you.

 

[R_C]

This would be a pastoral decision on the part of your priest. We cannot answer you. It is up to your priest to make that call after discussion and discernment with you.

Agreed.

 

[zenith15]

Greetings zenith15,

Thanks for reply.

I as of yet have not submitted my annulment as I have not yet completed the questions.

We have no children living here (all grown up and out of house), so I’m not sure if that will have an impact on my situation to live together as brother and sister.

I’m very committed to coming into Mother church, so if I have to separate to be able to partake of the sacraments of reconciliation and holy communion, then I will have to begin to put the wheels in motion in order to be able to partake of my Lord and make a good confession.

I should be speaking to parish priest this week, and will tell him my resolution and resolve.

Hopefully I will be allowed to function as a full member and partake of the wonderful sacraments Mother church has to offer her children.

Thanks for responding. Best wishes to you and your husband. God bless you both richly.

Kingdomson

I asked our Deacon, who is the annulment advocate at our parish, about your question today, and he stated that you would not be required to move out even if you had no young children. You just have to promise to live as brother and sister. That was what he said, though that’s not to negate your need to speak to your own priest about it of course.

 

[KingdomSon]

Greetings zenith15,

I asked our Deacon, who is the annulment advocate at our parish, about your question today, and he stated that you would not be required to move out even if you had no young children. You just have to promise to live as brother and sister. That was what he said, though that’s not to negate your need to speak to your own priest about it of course.

Thank you. That was very kind of you to mention my question to your Deacon. His answer gives me hope, but like you say I still need to speak to the parish priest about it. I plan on trying to accomplish that this week.

God bless you.

Kingdomson

 

[zenith15]

Greetings zenith15,

Thank you. That was very kind of you to mention my question to your Deacon. His answer gives me hope, but like you say I still need to speak to the parish priest about it. I plan on trying to accomplish that this week.

God bless you.

Kingdomson

Oh you are quite welcome! Glad to be of help.

 

[Vico]

Greetings brother and sisters in Christ,

Here is my situation. I’ll soon be beginning initiation into Mother Church. I’m in a second civil marriage, which I know the church does not recognize (for now) as valid. I will also soon beginning my annulment process… Now in the mean time because I am fully commited to becoming Catholic I have taken a personal vow of abstinence and have decided to live with my civil wife as brother and sister until this issue can be resolved.

Now my question is this… will I under these circumstances be able to go to confession and when intitiated into the Church (hopefully next year), be able to take of Holy Communion?

Thanks in advance and God bless.

Kingdomson

Brother and sister vow, while cohabiting, and receiving the Eucharist only where one’s situation is not known, such that no scandal to anyone, not just children, has been allowed through the internal forum (confession), but is not normal. These Vatican documents show the teaching on the topic. From Familiaris Consortio of Blessed John Paul II:

• c) Catholics in Civil Marriages*

1. There are increasing cases of Catholics who for ideological or practical reasons, prefer to contract a merely civil marriage, and who reject or at least defer religious marriage. Their situation cannot of course be likened to that of people simply living together without any bond at all, because in the present case there is at least a certain commitment to a properly-defined and probably stable state of life, even though the possibility of a future divorce is often present in the minds of those entering a civil marriage. By seeking public recognition of their bond on the part of the State, such couples show that they are ready to accept not only its advantages but also its obligations. Nevertheless, not even this situation is acceptable to the Church.
   The aim of pastoral action will be to make these people understand the need for consistency between their choice of life and the faith that they profess, and to try to do everything possible to induce them to regularize their situation in the light of Christian principle. While treating them with great charity and bringing them into the life of the respective communities, the pastors of the Church will regrettably not be able to admit them to the sacraments.
   vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/apost_exhortations/documents/hf_jp-ii_exh_19811122_familiaris-consortio_en.html

vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_14091994_rec-holy-comm-by-divorced_en.html