Question on Homeschooling catechesis

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Whalljim

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I have two children, 11 and 8. My family is trying to work off some significant debt; but we are at the point where we want to transition our oldest to Catholic schools. We may not be able to do it, however, for a variety of reasons.

So, if we can’t get them into the local school system, or even if we can, I’m recognizing the need to ‘up our game’ in terms of catechizing the kids.

We’ve worked with the kids at home; taken them to faith formation, and tried to educate them and pray with them. However, especially with my eldest, she just doesn’t seem to ‘get it’. Mass is ‘boring’. ‘I don’t understand it. Why do I have to do all this… A WHOLE HOUR?!’

I really struggle with this because she knows about the Real Presence. She knows about Jesus’ sacrifice. We volunteer at the Parish in various homeless ministries and other things so we can put our faith into action. I don’t know how to crack this nut. When I try to explain things, she kind of shuts down. I have St. Monica on speed dial. Our relationship otherwise is great. She loves to spend time with me.

I’m not an educator. I need some sort of help at home. I also want to give her the theological/philosophical grounding that she will need going forward; as I believe that in the present people will attack Catholicism, and in the future it will only get worse. She’s very bright and I think she needs that mental framework around which to build her faith.

So… is there any sort of ‘home school’ curriculum for middle school/teens that I can access? I’ve looked around but most things seem to be full on schools; and that’s not what I need.

Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks!
 
Mass is ‘boring’. ‘I don’t understand it. Why do I have to do all this… A WHOLE HOUR?!’
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Short answer: Because Jesus said to.

Do you read the Bible with your kids? Do you have a copy of the YouCat?
 
I have my kids going through Matthew Kelly’s confirmation book, Decision Point. They are 13 and 14, but I think it would be fine for an 11 year old. We have enjoyed it.
 
Not sure what YouCat is. Could you explain? We do read the bible, though I really need to ratchet that up.

She is 11 YO.

The Short Answer is nice… but won’t fly for long, and won’t give the type of roots that I want to plant.

I had a grandmother that did basic catechesis, and then in HS a Basilian priest who did a fantastic job of giving the reasons behind the faith.

In the age of the new atheists and secular attacks, there has to be a philosophical framework instead of ‘Cuz we said so’.
 
Just checked out YouCat. It looks good!

Are there age ranges to the publications?
 
We work with Loyola Press’s Christ Our Life series, which is well suited to a “homeschooling” option and has a lot of online resources. It might be worth exploring.
 
The previous post has a good suggestion.
But there is no way I would allow an 11 yr old to make decisions regarding her faith formation.
She needs to interact with other Catholic children. People who share her faith, share her similar questions, and people who are trying to walk the walk at their particular station in life. She needs the discussion with the various catechists, and the exposure to different levels of catechesis. Faith formation gets way more meaningful as they begin to go to Holy Hours with other kids, do community service with other kids, and begin to learn the how to of what we believe and how the Gospel message is lived out.
We live in community, and we also worship and learn in community.
Can homeschoolers do a great job at it? Yes, definitely. But it can also be much harder when you are the only voice she hears. Why not be together with people who share your same purpose, and also have the influence of a good pastor and the various youth ministers in tough times.
It’s a both/and, not an either/or.

God bless.
 
Sorry,

I wasn’t clear. Of course we will continue to do faith formation, and take advantage of whatever is offered in our parish. And no, of course she doesn’t get a choice in faith formation.

But after say 6th grade, faith formation turns into Youth Group; which has good retreats and all that, but not much catechesis.

If I can’t make Catholic schools work, then I want to make sure I’m doing everything I can to arm my child.

The intellectual side of it is something which, at least where I’m at, seems sorely lacking. We have just started to get some (great!) adult faith formation things; but not much for the kid between 6th grade and HS. And I think that is a key time. The Church has so much going for it with philosophy and history and reason; but I’m having a hard time passing that on to my kids.

Again, I’m not an educator.

So I"m looking for a curriculum that will help me take what’s out there and make it age appropriate.
 
I hear you. I’ve been researching a lot of things. Capturing the imagination is the hard part.

If I homeschool, I will probably use Faith and Life as our spine curriculum, supplemented with other things so it doesn’t just seem “dry and boring.”

I did The Great Adventure Bible Study series, and really enjoyed it. That might be above her, but here’s the link to some other teen Ascension Press bible studies. There’s actually one about the Mass in there.

I’m also linking to the Homeschool Connections course catalog for you to look through. They have a thorough section on theology, and there might be something in there that you think looks good. I plan to make use of Homeschool Connections when I homeschool.

So, I actually haven’t used any of these myself, but you still might find them helpful. I graduated high school eleven years ago, and one of the things that helped ignite my faith was apologetics, because it tends to tackle the sticky questions. (There were other important factors, but no need to get into that.) Apologetics are a huge help for college life, and in my opinion, it wasn’t emphasized nearly enough in my Catholic school.
 
Youth group is catechesis. That’s a big misconception among parents and parishioners.
There are few teens that will sit and read a book in desks and chairs and be bored to distraction. They are full of life. As they should be. Grade school Sunday school is the foundation. Middle school is where they connect the dots. If you want to supplement, great! But don’t dismiss a good Edge program or similar offering as just fun and games. There’s. Plenty going on besides the occasional sub sandwich.
Peace.
 
Whalljim said:
Sorry,

I wasn’t clear. Of course we will continue to do faith formation, and take advantage of whatever is offered in our parish. And no, of course she doesn’t get a choice in faith formation.

But after say 6th grade, faith formation turns into Youth Group;** which has good retreats and all that, but not much catechesis. **

If I can’t make Catholic schools work, then I want to make sure I’m doing everything I can to arm my child.

The intellectual side of it is something which, at least where I’m at, seems sorely lacking. We have just started to get some (great!) adult faith formation things; but not much for the kid between 6th grade and HS. And I think that is a key time. The Church has so much going for it with philosophy and history and reason; but I’m having a hard time passing that on to my kids.

Again, I’m not an educator.

So I"m looking for a curriculum that will help me take what’s out there and make it age appropriate.
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I learned much more from my workshops at Youth Group functions/retreats than I ever did going through CCD, so I wouldn’t view it as catechesis stopping after 6th grade. There is something that occurred to me reading this post. Your daughter is a child and yes, we want to teach children about the faith from an early age. However, I feel like if there is too much “academic” focus on the faith at a young age, it can be off-putting to a child. I’ve seen it with peers of mine who don’t attend Mass to this day because of how pushy their parents were. My parents brought me to Mass weekly, I was in CCD, had a Jodie Benson Bible stories CD and Children’s Bible, and we would say family Rosaries. However, I never felt like I was pushed for hardcore academic understanding. Now, as far as length of Mass, I’m not sure how you make her less bored…perhaps a children’s missal to help her understand what is going on better. Is the priest one that tends to have dry homilies? Is the music really horribly executed?
 
pianistclare said:
Youth group is catechesis. That’s a big misconception among parents and parishioners.
There are few teens that will sit and read a book in desks and chairs and be bored to distraction. They are full of life. As they should be. Grade school Sunday school is the foundation. Middle school is where they connect the dots. If you want to supplement, great! But don’t dismiss a good Edge program or similar offering as just fun and games. There’s. Plenty going on besides the occasional sub sandwich.
Peace.
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I’ve been part of our parish youth program for a number of years. It was Life Teen/Edge. It was engaging, and had a few ‘CRHP’ style retreats, but the catechesis was okay when it was there.

Another poster said something about not being too academic. I suppose that’s the tricky part. I don’t want to dry her to tears, but I think that apologetics and Church history can be pretty exciting.

My wife is doing a bible study that focuses on the narrative of the bible, from Abraham to Christ. It really helps bring things to life.

As to the academics part… apologetics/catechesis is what got me fired up about the faith. And my college experience 20 years ago was one where Christians were held in contempt unless they were so secularized that they barely deserved the name. Further, I don’t want my child to succumb to the ‘I’m spiritual, not religious’ tack, or the ‘I’ve joined the Protestant Mega Church with Sweet bands and a coffee bar! Its contemprovent!’.

Those would be better than nothing, but being Catholic is special. And I think we have to be able to explain why.

Just IMHO.
 
I imagine that your family prays the Rosary? I found that switching the way we did it was helpful. I found a Scriptural Rosary where they had a verse before every Hail Mary; we did that for a few months, then I found one which had a slightly longer meditation for each decade.

Now they have them on You-tube with visuals, so that might also be an option. I found sticking to one for a while was good; you end up memorizing all those meditations and that gives a lot of food for consideration at other times.

We are now in what used to be the preperatory time for Lent. Do some different things for Lent, and maybe read through a Gospel a little bit each night with your family. On Good Friday, we watch The Passion. Once she has seen the Passion, you can answer her question about why we go to Mass: God gave us life, He gave us Jesus to redeem us and open the gates of Heaven, and Jesus suffered that much to do that. Is living the Christian life too much to ask? Praying and keeping in touch with God Who has done so much for us; asking Him for help to become a better person; and going to Mass for an hour each week, when Christ suffered as He did for us? Don’t lay this on too heavily, tho; overall, the kessage should be a joyous one about opportunity rather than an obligation/guilt trip. But this would be a beginning.

Also, you might want to look into why she feels the way she does. Is she getting that attitude from classmates? Does she have a general tendency to be a little negative? Work on the character issues involved. Maybe have a “reward” after Mass, like getting ice cream or something? During Lent, we are supposed to give things up, but Sundays we celebrate a little because the restrictions are lifted (there are really 46 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter.)
 
Whalljim said:
As to the academics part… apologetics/catechesis is what got me fired up about the faith. And my college experience 20 years ago was one where Christians were held in contempt unless they were so secularized that they barely deserved the name. Further, I don’t want my child to succumb to the ‘I’m spiritual, not religious’ tack, or the ‘I’ve joined the Protestant Mega Church with Sweet bands and a coffee bar! Its contemprovent!’.

Those would be better than nothing, but being Catholic is special. And I think we have to be able to explain why.

Just IMHO.
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Were you HS/college age when you got fired up? I think the problem is that what might be fascinating to us as an adult is dry as dirt to an elementary/JH kid (sometimes even HS). I’ve experienced this myself as a school teacher. I’ve actually seen the “I’m spiritual, not religious” out of a lot of kids who were forced through Catholic School. I’m just not sure that a child is really able to grasp a lot of why the Catholic Church is special. Yes, teaching should occur…Who is Jesus? What is the Eucharist? Why do we confess our sins to a Priest? Have a Saint of the week and make that Saint come to life. I know a lot of adults aren’t as into Praise and Worship music (and I don’t think it has a place in Mass), but it can be of great assistance in making prayer cool for a pre-teen. Maybe buy her a CD or 2 (or let her download a batch of songs to an MP3 player).
 
St_Francis said:
Maybe have a “reward” after Mass,** like getting ice cream or something**? During Lent, we are supposed to give things up, but Sundays we celebrate a little because the restrictions are lifted (there are really 46 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter.)
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I hadn’t thought of it, but my family used to regularly do brunch (either out or mom made it) after Mass. It does give you something to look forward to on Sunday as a kid.
 
Admittedly, I was in HS/College.

I’m guessing I need to start more slowly. I’ve tried to get into the ‘why’ of it but am having a hard time. I’ll admit, though I try hard not to show it, I have a very hard time understanding a conversation like this:

‘You know who Jesus is, right?’
‘Yes, he’s God. The son of God’.
‘You know he died for our sins, and suffered terribly for us, right?’
‘Yes, I get that.’
‘You know that its just an hour to come worship and thank him, right?’
‘Yes, but its so BORING’.
‘What if you try singing more, and listening to the homily?’
‘I sing, but I the homilies are boring’.
‘You aren’t there to be entertained, we’re there to worship God.’
‘But its boring’.

To me its like a conversation that goes ‘You know if you don’t change your oil your engine will explode?’ ‘Oh yeah!’ ‘Then why don’t you change your oil?’ ‘It’s messy…’

I get an internal != compute and don’t know what to say. I’m hoping the story, the narrative, the ‘true myth’ as Tolkien put it will help, and that maybe the reasons behind what we do will help.

She’s a good kid. I just am struggling with how to get through. That’s why I’m hoping maybe a curriculum can give me ideas. I know how to educate myself. But I’m pretty narrow minded when trying to pass that on.
 
Whalljim said:
Admittedly, I was in HS/College.

I’m guessing I need to start more slowly. I’ve tried to get into the ‘why’ of it but am having a hard time. I’ll admit, though I try hard not to show it, I have a very hard time understanding a conversation like this:

‘You know who Jesus is, right?’
‘Yes, he’s God. The son of God’.
‘You know he died for our sins, and suffered terribly for us, right?’
‘Yes, I get that.’
‘You know that its just an hour to come worship and thank him, right?’
‘Yes, but its so BORING’.
‘What if you try singing more, and listening to the homily?’
‘I sing, but I the homilies are boring’.
‘You aren’t there to be entertained, we’re there to worship God.’
‘But its boring’.

To me its like a conversation that goes ‘You know if you don’t change your oil your engine will explode?’ ‘Oh yeah!’ ‘Then why don’t you change your oil?’ ‘It’s messy…’

I get an internal != compute and don’t know what to say. I’m hoping the story, the narrative, the ‘true myth’ as Tolkien put it will help, and that maybe the reasons behind what we do will help.

She’s a good kid. I just am struggling with how to get through. That’s why I’m hoping maybe a curriculum can give me ideas. I know how to educate myself. But I’m pretty narrow minded when trying to pass that on.
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I think the issue that I see is that you don’t seem to be addressing her issue. Your answer seems to be, “Yes, it’s boring, but you HAVE to do this.” Frankly, that wouldn’t engage me either.

We use a great video series with our Junior High class called Altaration that gives a lot more insight into what is going on during the Mass, and a number of our teens have commented that it makes the Mass more real to them. Ask her why it’s boring and what you could do to make it more interesting to her. Brainstorm ideas together. Maybe she could bring a notebook and write down questions that occur to her, or jot down her thoughts during the homily.

She likes to sing - is there a choir she could join? Any chance she could serve on the altar? A number of our youth have gotten energized by becoming altar servers and find Mass goes much faster when they have something to do.

Don’t turn Mass into an obligation. Work with her to help her see it’s drama and how she can participate and enjoy it.
 
That’s great insight. Thank you. I will try the brainstorming. Again, I can be somewhat linear and narrow minded when it comes to things like this. ‘That didn’t solve the problem? Go at it the same way but harder!’ 😉

She does sing in the choir, likes to do it. But it doesn’t stop her from playing with her hair during the Eucharistic prayer. I will look at the video, that sounds interesting.

At this point she has no interest in altar serving.
 
Whalljim said:
That’s great insight. Thank you. I will try the brainstorming. Again, I can be somewhat linear and narrow minded when it comes to things like this. ‘That didn’t solve the problem? Go at it the same way but harder!’ 😉

She does sing in the choir, likes to do it. But it doesn’t stop her from playing with her hair during the Eucharistic prayer. I will look at the video, that sounds interesting.

At this point she has no interest in altar serving.
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She is a pre-teen - at some point you pick your battles, and playing with hair or staring off into space during the Eucharistic prayer or homily isn’t one of those things I’d get hyper about. In fact, if you’re nitpicking those moments, it’s only going to build resistance to attending at all. I know lots of adults who don’t stay entirely focused during the entire Mass.
 
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