Question on marriage

[quiet52]

Dear Brad,
I knew a priest who would wish a couple “happy birthday” after their wedding mass – because the wedding marked the birth of their relationship as a married couple.

You and your wife-to-be must remember that your top priorities are to God and each other. If you two love being Catholic, then rejoice in being a Catholic couple from the get-go. Nothing to apologize for on your part, to anyone.

If the bride’s family doesn’t like it, tough beans. That’s their problem, NOT yours. This wedding is for the two of you, not for them. If you and your bride allow their emotions and behaviors to rule what you two do from day #1 as a couple, it will only get harder as time goes on. I believe you two should plan the wedding of your dreams – including a mass if that’s what you want, to show your love for and commitment to Jesus as a couple. Remember that Jesus instituted this sacrament of Matrimony. Remember that the Eucharist is the source and summit of our faith – no matter what our non-Catholic brethren believe. Why wouldn’t the two of you receive our Lord in this sacrament from day #1?

 

[Seatuck]

That would give the impression of two Marriage ceremonies. That is not allowed.

Right, two marriage ceremonies are not allowed. They would have to make it clear that the second ceremony is not a marriage ceremony.

 

[1ke]

Perhaps you could get married in the Catholic church in a small ceremony with witnesses and then have a** public renewal of vows **or some ceremony of your own making for the family at the reception.

Canon 1127 §3. It is forbidden to have another religious celebration of the same marriage to give **or renew matrimonial consent before or after the canonical celebration **according to the norm of §1.

This canon is in the section under mixed marriages, but it likely applies in their case as well. At a minimum they should discuss such an action with their priest to confirm whether it is allowed.

 

[1ke]

this is a matter for the CAtholic party to investigate, because this person must obtain a dispensation from the bishop, first to marry a non-Catholic, next to marry in a location other than a Catholic church, and to have the marriage wtinessed by a non-CAtholic minister. All of those are possible, and should be dealt with early in the marriage prep process (which must take place through the CAtholic parish) by explaining the situation to the pastor and following his advice. These dispensations are possible, but be advised are not automatic.

The OP is a Catholic.

Her family is not Catholic, and she is newly received into the Church.

 

[Seatuck]

Canon 1127 §3. It is forbidden to have another religious celebration of the same marriage to give **or renew matrimonial consent before or after the canonical celebration **according to the norm of §1.

This canon is in the section under mixed marriages, but it likely applies in their case as well. At a minimum they should discuss such an action with their priest to confirm whether it is allowed.

Does that refer only to the first wedding day or any day after? What about all these renewal of wedding vows that happen after Mass all the time? It’s fairly common around here on a big number anniversary or after a serious issue such as cancer or something.

 

[cameron_lansing]

Does that refer only to the first wedding day or any day after? What about all these renewal of wedding vows that happen after Mass all the time? It’s fairly common around here on a big number anniversary or after a serious issue such as cancer or something.

The prohibition is not subject to the passage of time.

Those renewals are not the same as the exchange of consent by which marriage is established. That would be sufficiently clear to the couple, the cleric, and the onlookers.

 

[rayne89]

If either someone from my side of the family or hubby’s disrupted our wedding by accusing the priest that would be the last time I (or my hubby)would speak to them.

I don’t think this would actually happen. You’d have to have gigantic nerve to pull such a stunt but I gaurantee if it did they would be the ones who looked like major jerks. You may want to have a couple broad shouldered men from your side prepared to act as bouncers on the small possiblity that someone would actually do this. Also gives the priest a heads up on the strong anti-Catholic sentiment that may be in the pews on your wedding day.

When we had our marriage convalidated most of those attending were protestant. I informed our priest and he did a wonderful job explaining each part of the service, such as placing roses at the feet of Mary is not a form of Mary worship etc. You may want to forego that tradition under the circumstances. We did not have a Mass but both my husband and I did receive communion.

I would go with a wedding without the Mass. God forbid you wouldn’t want some one to desecrate the host or something.