Question on Mass and children

  • Thread starter Thread starter cardsman
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

cardsman

Guest
Hello all, I was wondering if you could help me out.

I have recently began attending a catholic church after being protestant my whole life. I have only been attending on the weekends that I do not have my children with me for fear of what havoc they could cause during Mass. at my old church they go to children’s church and have not sat with me in ‘big people’ church…at least not for very long.

Anyways, I was wondering if there was some advice from parents on how to get a 2 year old boy and a 4 year old girl (both tend to be hyper at the most inopportune times) to attend mass…I’m a single dad…so I am already outnumbered and am at a loss as to the whole thing.

So any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
 
Welcome home,

Catholics have for the most part always attended mass with children in their arms. I have 4 children and we have had our moments. My kids have been going to Mass ever since a few days after birth. (my eldest daughter was born of Friday 6 AM and was at Mass Sunday morning.) They have to get used to going to Mass. If possible DAILY MASS. Here is my fool proof method. Feed them a HUGE breakfast with bacon eggs pancakes etc. and sit in the front pew…I swear children are quieter the further front you sit. In fact if you sit in the front pew…their voices carry forward and are heard less. To be honest with you my kids 3-6-7-9 can sit through a 2 hour Mass…but they have always been there. If you don’t feel comfortable with sitting up front sit in the back near the cry ROOM but for heavens sake take them to Mass. The more frequently the BETTER.
 
Yes, Welcome home. Don’t worry, you would be in good company. I don’t think I have ever been to a sunday mass without hearing a baby scream or cry. It happens to everyone. Try using a reward method, but also stay in control of them. If they are good afterwords tell them.

I am sure you it will all be fine after they get used to the new church. 👍
 
I have 5 children 2 girls and 3 boys. Now the boys are 4, 2, and 8 months, girls 15 and 10. We always try to attend Mass at the same time as a family. We tried the cry room but that was a nightmare. It was actually worse for my kids. Some of the parents let their kids run around like a playground. So we took them into the main congregation. Now I’ll not lie, sometimes the boys act up. But they usually they sit calmly and pay attention. The hardest time seems to be during the Homily. I think it is too quiet for them. Week by Week it gets better and better. So I would say you just have to tough it out. They should come around.
 
1- Some parishes have a cry room where you can hear the Mass with noisy children without disrupting the service.

2- You can sit in the back of the Church and when the children become noisy step outside and teach them the fear of God.

3- Some parishes have baby sitting for young children. However, by the age of four a child should go start to learn how to behave in a public place. Do not expect perfect behavior every time.

4- Be a role model in public behavior and they will follow you (it might take some time)

5- Noisy children in church bother me because they distract me from the Mass. However, I try to remember how Jesus wanted us to let the children go to Him.

6- Hang in there, pray for the people (like me) that frown at you, take the kids out when they become too disruptive. An most of all go back to Mass the following Sunday. The children will get used to it.

7- Look for the ushers and ask for helpful suggestions. They see that quite often.
 
The breakfast idea is a good one. Sitting up front where they can see everythign works well. If they get noisy, you can take them to the narthex (back of church, “gathering place”) and calm them before bringing them back inside.

It is also a good idea to ask for the location of “the cry room” or “baby room”. This is a room, usually sound-proofed, with a glass partition. It is sort of like big screen TV for little kids. You can participate in the Mass without the kids destroying good will. Not every parish has one.

You might also want to get them and bring along a lovey or blankie, a couple picture books, and some non-melting crayons or colored pencils with paper or a coloring book for the 4 year old. Please do not bring snacks- they stick all over everything, kids spill, and one can never get it all up.

Each child is on his or her own developmental schedule.
 
Welcome cardsman! By all means bring them if you can. They will be better people for it. I will caution you. You will get some glares if they act up. Catholics are human too and therefore do sin.

I’ll admit my husband and I have been attending tag-team Masses recently because our son is being a handful lately and my difficult pregnancy is making that hard to handle. (as in I cannot physically make it through Mass if he is there.)

There is only one reason I can think of not to bring children to Mass. And that is if you get absolutely nothing out of it because of them. Since the Mass is so incredible on so many levels I cannot think of a time where that is truly possible. As a Catholic, if I hear almost nothing from distraction, I can still receive Communion. As a non-Catholic you can still participate in a spiritual communion, and anything you hear will probably have something you’ve never heard before.

God bless you!!!
 
If you are able to, you might take them to a daily Mass, because they are shorter, just to get them used to the idea. Then try a Sunday Mass. It will be a difficult transition as they aren’t used to sitting in Church, but it can be done with love and patience and teaching the older child some of the responses and prayers. Reward good behavior 🙂 with a treat or something special.

Jennifer
 
Try the cry room. If it’s bedlam in there and distractful for you and your little ones, avoid it and go out into the main Church.

Never be embarassed to take your children to the back of the Church if they misbehave. Avoid giving them more than one or two warnings before you take them back. There’s nothing more frustrating to those in the pews around you than to have a misbehaving little one close by and mommy and/or daddy dole out warning after warning, behavior doesn’t change and nothing is done about it. When you take a loud or misbehaving little one to the back of the Church or to the Narthex, you’ll have everybody’s admiration and respect. We’ve all been there.

Don’t bring snacks or drinks to Church. (That goes for adults too!) They make a mess and are hard for the altar society to clean up. Children can go for an hour without eating - really, they can!

Persistance, persistance, persistance. We’ve raised four children and my hubby thought he’d never get away from the back wall of the Church. (He met one of his best friends back there doing the same thing). You may think that you’re not getting anything out of the Mass, but you are and God loves you all the more for your effort.

Looking at my adult children, it was worth every effort!
 
We have a nursery at our parish that goes up through age 4, so I have just started taking my 5 yo to mass on a regular basis. This was wonderful for me b/c I just came back to the church when she was 3 and she was a nightmare to handle at first. I would leave mass ready to cry and just be angry and frustrated.

My biggest suggestion-- PREP!

I got a mass book for children and we went through it so she knew what to expect wen and could begin participating in the responses. I also go over the readings on Saturday night then give her keywords to listen for during the readings. “Listen, they are going to talk about (whatever).”

We sit in the very front row, so she gets to see all the action. Our priest knows her, so he will comment on her behavior after mass. He was impressed when she sang the Our Father! She isn’t perfect, but she is rapidly improving as she knows what is expected of her. Her biggest challnege is keeping quiet as she is a very inquisitive kid. She will whisper questions to me, but they are related to the mass. Now she looks forward to asking Fr her questions after mass. The last one was “Did Jesus take communion when he went to church?”

Good luck. Be patient with them but let them know what you expect of them.
 
We don’t have children yet, but I remember my parents with my younger brother and sister. My sister is five years younger than me and my brother and I are 16 months apart. My parents were very good at letting us know what was expected of us during mass. She would be, what some people considered, “very strict”, but in many ways I think it was good for us. I was also very close to my grandmother who served as a good role model for me. When my sister was a baby and would act up a little, they’d take turns with her. As she got older it became easier. We very very rarely ever acted up during mass, though. All my mother had to do was give us “the look” and we’d stop whatever we were doing in a blink of an eye. 🙂 No words ever needed to be said.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top