Question on Masterbation

[AmandaB]

Well, I don’t agree. Our children are not wild animals who cannot control themselves. Unless they have some type of mental or emotional illness . It is up to us from their infancy to teach them self control.

I appreciate your opinion very much. However, I am more concerned about what the actual teaching is regarding youth, not adults. You say unless they have some type of mental illness, but what about a young child? Where do we draw the line? Telling the child she/he is wrong and what they are doing is bad could have negative psychological effects. We can’t ignore that for some children, this really could happen. It would be nice to pretend that these statements would have no ill effect on some, but that would be false. I do agree and am thankful you brought up the issue of self-control because as an older teenager, now they have the choice of self-control and I would feel much more comfortable telling them they really should avoid this behavior. I just can’t agree on shaming a child for this behavior, however I feel distracting them if I notice it is a much better alternative. I don’t feel this topic(regarding children) is answered with a simple black or white answer. I just want some opinions to help figure out the best approach, taking ALL factors into consideration. I also surely would never look at my child as a “wild animal” for this behavior. Where I would never promote or encourage this behavior, I am also not a psychiatrist nor God, so I have to be very careful and take very seriously what and exactly how I go about saying things to a child. I hope and pray that with time and faith I find the best answer through God before I have children of my own. Again, I do thank you for your opinion.

 

[Seatuck]

I appreciate your opinion very much. However, I am more concerned about what the actual teaching is regarding youth, not adults. You say unless they have some type of mental illness, but what about a young child? Where do we draw the line? Telling the child she/he is wrong and what they are doing is bad could have negative psychological effects. We can’t ignore that for some children, this really could happen. It would be nice to pretend that these statements would have no ill effect on some, but that would be false. I do agree and am thankful you brought up the issue of self-control because as an older teenager, now they have the choice of self-control and I would feel much more comfortable telling them they really should avoid this behavior. I just can’t agree on shaming a child for this behavior, however I feel distracting them if I notice it is a much better alternative. I don’t feel this topic(regarding children) is answered with a simple black or white answer. I just want some opinions to help figure out the best approach, taking ALL factors into consideration. I also surely would never look at my child as a “wild animal” for this behavior. Where I would never promote or encourage this behavior, I am also not a psychiatrist nor God, so I have to be very careful and take very seriously what and exactly how I go about saying things to a child. I hope and pray that with time and faith I find the best answer through God before I have children of my own. Again, I do thank you for your opinion.

You didn’t mention small children, you said telling a teenager. If the child is under the age of reason then that is another matter. With toddlers for instance you wouldn’t explain about sin you would of course distract, make their clothing more difficult to get into etc. With older children you could of course discuss the inappropriateness of touching. You would make it clear that “we” don’t touch like that" etc. Parents don’t have to “shame” . Parents can lovingly teach a child without berating and “shaming”. With patience and repetition.

The reason why I said “wild animals” is because you implied that the sexual urge or the urge to touch oneself is so strong that it can’t be controlled or “near impossible”. We are to learn self mastery in these and other things in childhood so we can go on to learn self mastery with the bigger things later on.

It’s cool we have a place to discuss this kind of thing . I certainly didn’t have one for when my children where younger. I had books saying that this behavior was normal and to let it be … grrrr.

 

[AmandaB]

You didn’t mention small children, you said telling a teenager. If the child is under the age of reason then that is another matter. With toddlers for instance you wouldn’t explain about sin you would of course distract, make their clothing more difficult to get into etc. With older children you could of course discuss the inappropriateness of touching. You would make it clear that “we” don’t touch like that" etc. Parents don’t have to “shame” . Parents can lovingly teach a child without berating and “shaming”. With patience and repetition.

The reason why I said “wild animals” is because you implied that the sexual urge or the urge to touch oneself is so strong that it can’t be controlled or “near impossible”. We are to learn self mastery in these and other things in childhood so we can go on to learn self mastery with the bigger things later on.

It’s cool we have a place to discuss this kind of thing . I certainly didn’t have one for when my children where younger. I had books saying that this behavior was normal and to let it be … grrrr.

I am happy for these places as well, because it helps so much to help make such important decisions. And now I understand what you meant! I was always worried that it would be impossible to teach this topic without shaming, but now I’m beginning to see different ways it can be done and I’m really happy for your responses. It helps to have different ideas and sometimes you realize you have the pretty much the same view about something as someone else, but didn’t realize it! Take care