Question on participation of a wedding

[Dicerning]

Hello,
Acceptable for my children to be flower girls at a wedding of my niece who is marrying a previously (protestant marriage Methodist I believe) married Man? (who has no interest in seeking annulmnet matters)

The bride is my niece and God-daughter who has very little knowledge of Catholicism or even the concept of a sacrament or sacramental marriage.

Is it even possible that I can go to this wedding.

Thanks in advance.

 

[nicolep]

My gut reaction is no. I assume that this is going to be an invalid marriage. An annulment would be required if the couple were being married validly within the Church.

Personally, I wouldn’t want my children to participate nor would I.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Hello,
Acceptable for my children to be flower girls at a wedding of my niece who is marrying a previously (protestant marriage Methodist I believe) married Man? (who has no interest in seeking annulmnet matters)

The bride is my niece and God-daughter who has very little knowledge of Catholicism or even the concept of a sacrament or sacramental marriage.

Is it even possible that I can go to this wedding.

Thanks in advance.

Have you stopped by and actually said something to your niece, in person explaining that as her God-father you had a responsibility to see that she grew up in the Catholic faith. That you may have failed her in that promise but that she needs to know that she cannot validly Marry a person who has been divorced and that it would not be a good example for your children to participate. You could obtain for her a CD set on the Sacrament of Marriage in the Catholic Church.

crossroadsinitiative.com/resource_info/53.html

As one idea

 

[Dicerning]

Have you stopped by and actually said something to your niece, in person explaining that as her God-father you had a responsibility to see that she grew up in the Catholic faith. That you may have failed her in that promise but that she needs to know that she cannot validly Marry a person who has been divorced and that it would not be a good example for your children to participate. You could obtain for her a CD set on the Sacrament of Marriage in the Catholic Church.

crossroadsinitiative.com/resource_info/53.html

As one idea

I became he her God Father when I was 16 years old I had no idea at the time what I was getting into. Now that I am a grown Catholic who lives miles away from her I now realize I have some responsibility. With that in mind everyone knows where I stand on the issue along with my wife. Our children are not going to be participating in the ceremony. In an un-related comment I must admit she is Marrying a super guy…who just has had no contact with Catholicism. He was raised a methodist and looked at me like a was from Mars when I mentioned an anulment. he told me he isn’t Catholic and never will be so it doesn’t pertain to him. My Niece has admitted that she hasn’t darkened the door of a Church since she was in H.S. and that was because he parents made her go. …I find it sad…

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I became he her God Father when I was 16 years old I had no idea at the time what I was getting into. Now that I am a grown Catholic who lives miles away from her I now realize I have some responsibility. With that in mind everyone knows where I stand on the issue along with my wife. Our children are not going to be participating in the ceremony. In an un-related comment I must admit she is Marrying a super guy…who just has had no contact with Catholicism. He was raised a methodist and looked at me like a was from Mars when I mentioned an anulment. he told me he isn’t Catholic and never will be so it doesn’t pertain to him. My Niece has admitted that she hasn’t darkened the door of a Church since she was in H.S. and that was because he parents made her go. …I find it sad…

I didn’t mean that in any mean way, there may have been other reasons outside of your control also. Unfortunately you were asked to take on a role you were not prepared for. Many adults take on the role and never fulfill it either. I would recomend the CD set or one like it anyway, you never know she may just listen to it anyway.

 

[promethius]

He was raised a methodist and looked at me like a was from Mars when I mentioned an anulment. he told me he isn’t Catholic and never will be so it doesn’t pertain to him.

If he’s such a super-guy he should realize it pertains to him because it pertains to her! Her church will never recognize their marraige as valid until such time as an annulment is received and their marraige is subsequently convalidated. Perhaps he needs to understand that this isn’t some sort of mystical catholic sacrament, but rather a statement of his not being married so that he is elligable to be married to your niece.

Otherwise your niece will never be able to validly take communion again unless they live chastely as brother and sister until such time as an annulment is declaired.

 

[daeve]

If he’s such a super-guy he should realize it pertains to him because it pertains to her! Her church will never recognize their marraige as valid until such time as an annulment is received and their marraige is subsequently convalidated. Perhaps he needs to understand that this isn’t some sort of mystical catholic sacrament, but rather a statement of his not being married so that he is elligable to be married to your niece.

Otherwise your niece will never be able to validly take communion again unless they live chastely as brother and sister until such time as an annulment is declaired.

SHE doesn’t think it pertains to her. In his shoes, I would think if it doesn’t matter to her, why should it matter to me. His church allows remarriage, and he figures they know what they’re talking about. If she doesn’t care what her church says, there’s no reason for him to care.

I’m sure your daughters will be disappointed if they can’t be in the wedding. From my point of view, you have to decide whether disappointing your daughters, your niece, your brother/sister, your whoever is more important than the impression you might give that you don’t think these things matter.

As one who participated in a most unfortunate “wedding” that I wish I hadn’t even attended (many moons ago in my misspent youth), let me just say you can’t take it back later.

 

[Dicerning]

SHE doesn’t think it pertains to her. In his shoes, I would think if it doesn’t matter to her, why should it matter to me. His church allows remarriage, and he figures they know what they’re talking about. If she doesn’t care what her church says, there’s no reason for him to care.

I’m sure your daughters will be disappointed if they can’t be in the wedding. From my point of view, you have to decide whether disappointing your daughters, your niece, your brother/sister, your whoever is more important than the impression you might give that you don’t think these things matter.

.

Our daughters do not know about it. yet. However I believe they are too old to be flower girls anyway. One is 12 the other is 8.

 

[daeve]

Our daughters do not know about it. yet. However I believe they are too old to be flower girls anyway. One is 12 the other is 8.

Junior bridesmaids, then. I would think that since you’re raised them Catholic and they’re old enough to be aware of what’s what in a Catholic marriage, you have more to consider than hurt feelings. If they were in the wedding, would that suggest to them that the rules the Church puts on the sacrament of Matrimony don’t count after all. This makes your decision harder, I think. A 3 year old flower girl doesn’t know anything except she gets to wear a fancy dress and people will ooh and aah all over her. Your 12 year old is coming into her teens and this kind of thing is going to be on her mind soon, if it isn’t now.

 

[Dicerning]

Junior bridesmaids, then. .

Junior Bridesmaids? Ahhhh I see. Lets trivialize holy matrimony all the more by additional bells and whistles. Sorry aint gonna happen with our girls.

I for one think we shouldn’t stop at Junior bridesmaids. I think we should have Junior bridesmaids assistants and while we are at it lets have Pee Wee Groomsman to stand up with the junior Groomsman. How about a little Junior Bride and Junior Groom as well!??! Ooooooooh lets have a baby in a wagon that is pulled by the flower girls. And junior unity candle lighter assistants. WHile the the mothers are lighting the Candles that will be the candles from which the unity candle is lit to the tune of “the wedding song” by peter paul and marry no doubt.

Sorry for the Rant but I have never been a fan of weddings gone wild. Like I said my girls are not going to be in the wedding and fortunately they seem to realize that somthing is amis with the wedding since it ins’t even really in a church…more like a rent-a-chapel.

 

[daeve]

Junior Bridesmaids? Ahhhh I see. Lets trivialize holy matrimony all the more by additional bells and whistles. Sorry aint gonna happen with our girls.

I for one think we shouldn’t stop at Junior bridesmaids. I think we should have Junior bridesmaids assistants and while we are at it lets have Pee Wee Groomsman to stand up with the junior Groomsman. How about a little Junior Bride and Junior Groom as well!??! Ooooooooh lets have a baby in a wagon that is pulled by the flower girls. And junior unity candle lighter assistants. WHile the the mothers are lighting the Candles that will be the candles from which the unity candle is lit to the tune of “the wedding song” by peter paul and marry no doubt.

Sorry for the Rant but I have never been a fan of weddings gone wild. Like I said my girls are not going to be in the wedding and fortunately they seem to realize that somthing is amis with the wedding since it ins’t even really in a church…more like a rent-a-chapel.

Oh my, I didn’t mean to set you off. You said they were too old for flower girls, and that would be the option for girls that age. It’s not a new concept. My mother was 14 when her sister got married, and their parents thought it was inappropriate for her to be escorted by one of the groom’s friends who were in their late 20s. A junior bridesmaid walks down the aisle alone before the flower girl and/or ring bearer.

I didn’t have any children in my wedding because there weren’t any yet, but if I had a niece or nephew I would have loved them participate. My sons were in my sister’s weddings.

I’m glad things are working out for you, but I feel attacked which I don’t care for at all.