Question on private vows

[nihoran]

So some time ago I used to disobey my parents’ no-internet policy rule and would sneak online. When they found out they got really angry at me and I made a vow that if they didn’t “explode” at me, then I would not ever use the internet again except when absolutely necessary. I was angry and afraid at the time and wasn’t really thinking about what this really meant.
Later my parents scolded me harshly, but I’m not sure if what they did constitutes “exploding” or not.
So, my question is, was my vow invalid? Do I still have to hold to it?

 

[Waiting]

So some time ago I used to disobey my parents’ no-internet policy rule and would sneak online. When they found out they got really angry at me and I made a vow that if they didn’t “explode” at me, then I would not ever use the internet again except when absolutely necessary. I was angry and afraid at the time and wasn’t really thinking about what this really meant.
Later my parents scolded me harshly, but I’m not sure if what they did constitutes “exploding” or not.
So, my question is, was my vow invalid? Do I still have to hold to it?

Since the promise was made to your parents, why not speak to them when you are all at peace with each other. They know that your vow was made under duress, and that it is an impracticable one. They will surely release you from your promise. A vow is a very serious promise, and should only be made when all conditions have been considered calmly and seriously.

 

[GratefulFred]

First welcome to the Forums. Hope you find useful information on a number of subjects.

Second, are you violating some agreement with your parents by being on this internet Forum?

Third, I agree, discuss the matter when all are calm. Explain why you want access to the Internet and acknoweldge their real concern that you will go ONLY where you should and NOT to sites you should not. Parents need honest assurance that you are mature and responsible.

If you have good grades, are keeping up with your chores, and attending Mass as you should without complaining, you can use these as proof that you are responsibile and worthy of a greater degree of freedom.

Good parents want meaningful assurance that their children will not abuse greater freedom.

 

[Leegal]

So some time ago I used to disobey my parents’ no-internet policy rule and would sneak online. When they found out they got really angry at me and I made a vow that if they didn’t “explode” at me, then I would not ever use the internet again except when absolutely necessary. I was angry and afraid at the time and wasn’t really thinking about what this really meant.
Later my parents scolded me harshly, but I’m not sure if what they did constitutes “exploding” or not.
So, my question is, was my vow invalid? Do I still have to hold to it?

Speak with your parents.

Your vow was a bit excessive – never use the internet again? How long is “not ever?” Were you doing something forbidden? Be reasonable with your parents, but be reasonable with yourself and God. Don’t make promises steeped in unreality. I assume you are not yet in college or working – can you now really say “not ever.” It’s not the same as vowing not to smoke because you do have control over whether you take a cigarette or not. God knew this already. A more reasonable vow would be specific such as "I will not use the internet to …(fill in what the problem is). Too much time gaming at the expense of school work? Then a vow not to game until school is in recess is a proper vow – depending on your parents’ limits.

So, talk it out with your parents and stick within the boundaries they make for you and internet usage. You do have to do what your parents say, but I think God realized the vow was made hastily. I’m not suggesting that you go against your parents – you must still stick within the parameters they set and avoid the tempation to use the internet when they have specifically said not to. The problem is not the vow – the problem is that you did not listen to your parents.

 

[puzzleannie]

SoSo, my question is, was my vow invalid? Do I still have to hold to it?

you cannot make a vow that is binding under pain of sin without consent of your bishop, and not at all if you are a minor.

Your parents told you not to use the internet, so regardless of their reaction when they find out you disobeyed, stay off the internet until they give permission, and yes that includes this forum. Don;t worry about the imaginary sin of breaking a promise, worry about the real sin of disobedience.