Z
ZDHayden
Guest
I have a question concerning prayer while in a state of mortal sin.
On one hand, I feel as if it would be insulting to pray to God, to try to continue in our walk together (or rather, his carrying me as it feels like sometimes) while in a state of sin. It seems comparable to punching someone in the face and then talking about the weather. I have expressed my sorrow for my sins, but have not been able to get to the confessional as my parish priest is in North Dakota (I am in Indiana) on a retreat right now. I have both prayed a rather sloppily worded prayer that can be summarized by the words
On the other hand, I know I will sin more if I do not pray. As there was a bit of physical labor today (I take after the Benedictines in this fashion), I prayed a bit as I worked. Usually when I am in a state of mortal sin, I am anxious until after confession. During and after my prayer of repentance (above) and during my prayerful labor, there was peace. The same kind of peace I feel after Confession, during and after Mass, during the Rosary and Liturgy of the Hours.
I do not want to offend God. I am a creature of habit, and the sins I regularly confess I have been struggling with for one and a half years now (I started fighting them when I was in preparation for being received into the Church), but the sins have had 3+ years to entangle themselves in me. I can sometimes go a week, a few weeks, or sometimes a month, but I always eventually fail - always in the middle of the week. My sins sicken me - many times even venial sins. I have been warned by my pastor and confessor that I should look out for scrupulosity, my spiritual director has stated the same thing. Perhaps I am just being scrupulous about this. Thank you, and, I apologize for all the threads asking for advice or help. I was confirmed this past Easter, and so am still very uncertain - or at least am right now I am certain that the uncertainty will pass after I confess. Sometimes my faith is harder and more solid than steel, other times it is like sand being blown in the wind - still there, still hard (those tiny specks of sand ARE hard!) but blown about by the messy chaotic wind of sin and uncontrolled emotion.
On one hand, I feel as if it would be insulting to pray to God, to try to continue in our walk together (or rather, his carrying me as it feels like sometimes) while in a state of sin. It seems comparable to punching someone in the face and then talking about the weather. I have expressed my sorrow for my sins, but have not been able to get to the confessional as my parish priest is in North Dakota (I am in Indiana) on a retreat right now. I have both prayed a rather sloppily worded prayer that can be summarized by the words
I will not be able to get to the confessional until this weekend.
On the other hand, I know I will sin more if I do not pray. As there was a bit of physical labor today (I take after the Benedictines in this fashion), I prayed a bit as I worked. Usually when I am in a state of mortal sin, I am anxious until after confession. During and after my prayer of repentance (above) and during my prayerful labor, there was peace. The same kind of peace I feel after Confession, during and after Mass, during the Rosary and Liturgy of the Hours.
I do not want to offend God. I am a creature of habit, and the sins I regularly confess I have been struggling with for one and a half years now (I started fighting them when I was in preparation for being received into the Church), but the sins have had 3+ years to entangle themselves in me. I can sometimes go a week, a few weeks, or sometimes a month, but I always eventually fail - always in the middle of the week. My sins sicken me - many times even venial sins. I have been warned by my pastor and confessor that I should look out for scrupulosity, my spiritual director has stated the same thing. Perhaps I am just being scrupulous about this. Thank you, and, I apologize for all the threads asking for advice or help. I was confirmed this past Easter, and so am still very uncertain - or at least am right now I am certain that the uncertainty will pass after I confess. Sometimes my faith is harder and more solid than steel, other times it is like sand being blown in the wind - still there, still hard (those tiny specks of sand ARE hard!) but blown about by the messy chaotic wind of sin and uncontrolled emotion.