Question on the single life

[Sanctifiable]

I am a celibate single lay person. I am divorced and I know I much prefer to be single and celibate. I feel it is my calling.

You will know if you are called to be single. Its not a feeling of having no options…such as “gee I guess I’ll have to be single” Its a peaceful feeling that you get from contentment with your life and your deep relationship with our Lord.

Good post

 

[CharlesPaul]

I’m 40 and have never been married, I’ve only recently become engaged to a wonderful woman, and only now do I understand what my Vocation is.

My advice is take advantage of your time as a single lay person, use it to lead a chaste and Spirit filled life, while being a good example for those around you. Single lay people have a special place in The Church, they are able to dedicate much more of their time and resources to The Church and their communities than most married or religious people can, being free of the obligations to spouse, children, or religious order. You will often have opportunities to give of your extra time and extra resources, to people and ministries in need around you, everything from mentoring youth, to caring for elderly, to mowing Mr. Smith’s yard, while he’s laid up with a broken hip.

This is an often ignored aspect of life, to those who find themselves living life as a single lay person, they are so often trying to fixate on vocations they aren’t called to, or simply waiting idly for a spouse they never seem to find. Don’t waste all that time, use it to actively serve The Lord, the need is so great there’s plenty for everyone to do.

I think you should also keep yourself open to marriage, religious life, or even Holy Orders, all the while, I think the Holy Spirit could move you at any time, if you’re open to His will.

 

[TiggerS]

Good post, CharlesPaul.

I think you should also keep yourself open to marriage, religious life, or even Holy Orders, all the while, I think the Holy Spirit could move you at any time, if you’re open to His will.

This is an important point re a vocation to the single state - it is by its very nature a state in life that is open to a further call from God to a different state even if one has made private vows and Canon Law on “Vows” does indirectly explain this

“Can. 1197 What has been promised by private vow can be commuted into something better or equally good by the person who made the vow. It can be commuted into something less good by one who has authority to dispense in accordance with Can. 1196. ourladyswarriors.org/canon/c1166-1204.htm#par2439”

This can be a problem with those considering private vows and the single state in that it is a state in life that is open to a further call from God to a different state in life. It is a permanent call as a vocation insofar as there is no further call. Some find this living with insecurity, rather it is living with love of God’s Will primarily rather than one’s sense of security as prime.
Marriage religious life and Holy Orders is not in the normal course open to a further call as to one’s state in life. When one marries, makes final religious profession or is ordained, it is final - in the normal course.
Again, I think it is very important to not embrace the single state as one’s vocation in life without spiritual direction and/or understanding fully the vocation itself. It may be a permanent call for the course of one’s whole life, it may be a temporary and transitional call.

 

[Alexandra_Kent]

How is single life?? I wil tell you my experience. My Aunt was single till she was 42 been married to the same man that is 22 years her senior. He is now 88 had stage 4 throat cancer. He had his wife (my Aunt) to take care of him with every need hospital visits and home care and emotional support. He survived it I think partly he had a reason to live. Now if he stayed single he I think would be dead. I am single and I either want to be a priest or married as I DON’T want to be alone. If God can provide me a way of NOT being alone then yes single celebate life is certainly for me. I just fear being alone. If you want to be alone and not be in the clergy then it is for you but I can’t bear the idea of being alone living alone.and that is one of my biggest fears in life. My opinion.

But you are never alone. There is God, Jesus, Mary, Saints, angels, more saints, more angels…gosh there is a lot of people hanging out with you all the time