Question re: Confession

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Could someone possibly provide me with the link or official documentation on the Church’s position/requirements for when one must/should go to Confession? I think it’s once per year at the very minimum or sooner if one is in a state of serious sin, but I’d like to be able to access the official “ruling” to use in discussion with another Catholic who is totally against utilizing the Sacrament.
Thanks so much.
 
From canon law:

Can. 989 After having reached the age of discretion, each member of the faithful is ob-liged to confess faithfully his or her grave sins at least once a year.

However…

If someone has problems with the sacrament or even with the idea of confessing his sins, I don’t think “Canon law says you have to” is going to matter.

If you’re trying to convince someone it’s a good thing, perhaps you can speak of your own experience with the sacrament and with experiencing God’s love and mercy through the ministry of the priest. At least for me, pounding me on the head with “you have to do this” wouldn’t go nearly as far as showing me how you’re embracing mercy in your own life.
 
From canon law:

Can. 989 After having reached the age of discretion, each member of the faithful is ob-liged to confess faithfully his or her grave sins at least once a year.

However…

If someone has problems with the sacrament or even with the idea of confessing his sins, I don’t think “Canon law says you have to” is going to matter.

If you’re trying to convince someone it’s a good thing, perhaps you can speak of your own experience with the sacrament and with experiencing God’s love and mercy through the ministry of the priest. At least for me, pounding me on the head with “you have to do this” wouldn’t go nearly as far as showing me how you’re embracing mercy in your own life.
Thanks very much for the Canon Law reference and advice. I’m thinking that by just reading that line from 989 someone could possibly justify not ever going to Confession by saying they have had no “grave sins” (at least in their mind) since the last time they went to Confession (which could have been decades ago). Would there be any further reference to mention if they take that stand?
I’m just anticipating their response since unfortunately I don’t think explaining God’s love and mercy through the ministry of the Priest in my own life will mean much to this person.
 
Could someone possibly provide me with the link or official documentation on the Church’s position/requirements for when one must/should go to Confession? I think it’s once per year at the very minimum or sooner if one is in a state of serious sin, but I’d like to be able to access the official “ruling” to use in discussion with another Catholic who is totally against utilizing the Sacrament.
Thanks so much.
Post #2 gave you the official Canon statement.

I would add that you should read this (if you haven’t already): LINK
 
He feels he has no sins to confess?

Most all of us also have these two to consider:

“Do I love God with my whole heart, mind and soul?”

“Did I have false gods in my life that I gave greater attention to than God, like money, profession, drugs, TV, fame, pleasure, property, etc.?”
 
It is also listed as one of the five Precepts of the Catholic Church - the five precepts are basically the five minimum things we must do as Catholics. Notice I said minimum.
II. THE PRECEPTS OF THE CHURCH
2041 The precepts of the Church are set in the context of a moral life bound to and nourished by liturgical life. The obligatory character of these positive laws decreed by the pastoral authorities is meant to guarantee to the faithful the very necessary minimum in the spirit of prayer and moral effort, in the growth in love of God and neighbor:
2042 The first precept (“You shall attend Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation and rest from servile labor”) requires the faithful to sanctify the day commemorating the Resurrection of the Lord as well as the principal liturgical feasts honoring the mysteries of the Lord, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and the saints; in the first place, by participating in the Eucharistic celebration, in which the Christian community is gathered, and by resting from those works and activities which could impede such a sanctification of these days.82
The second precept (“You shall confess your sins at least once a year”) ensures preparation for the Eucharist by the reception of the sacrament of reconciliation, which continues Baptism’s work of conversion and forgiveness.83
The third precept (“You shall receive the sacrament of the Eucharist at least during the Easter season”) guarantees as a minimum the reception of the Lord’s Body and Blood in connection with the Paschal feasts, the origin and center of the Christian liturgy.84
2043 The fourth precept (“You shall observe the days of fasting and abstinence established by the Church”) ensures the times of ascesis and penance which prepare us for the liturgical feasts and help us acquire mastery over our instincts and freedom of heart.85
The fifth precept (“You shall help to provide for the needs of the Church”) means that the faithful are obliged to assist with the material needs of the Church, each according to his own ability.86
The faithful also have the duty of providing for the material needs of the Church, each according to his own abilities.87
I highlighted the part you were looking for in red.

If you wish to see the rest of the writings before and after this is the link

God bless - Pax et Bonum
 
He feels he has no sins to confess?

Most all of us also have these two to consider:

“Do I love God with my whole heart, mind and soul?”

“Did I have false gods in my life that I gave greater attention to than God, like money, profession, drugs, TV, fame, pleasure, property, etc.?”
Thanks very much, everyone.

Unfortunately it appears that he feels he doesn’t have any grave or serious sins to confess and, therefore, doesn’t need to go to confession. Also thinks it’s ridiculous how eating meat on Fridays used to be sinful and now is not, and he uses that “logic” when considering the “need” for Confession or his own human short-comings.

I love the two questions you pose, Barb, for use when examining one’s conscience - those types of questions have always been beneficial to me as a Catholic, and I will attempt to use them in the discussion with him.

And thank you, Joan, for the Precepts - also very helpful. He is a “pick and choose” Catholic as some would say. Goes to Church every Sunday (and unfortunately usually receives Communion) but has not gone to Confession in many years. Also has VERY strong (and usually unwavering) opinions and is difficult to talk with when he doesn’t agree.

God’s blessings to you all for your assistance.
 
Thanks very much, everyone.

Unfortunately it appears that he feels he doesn’t have any grave or serious sins to confess and, therefore, doesn’t need to go to confession. Also thinks it’s ridiculous how eating meat on Fridays used to be sinful and now is not, and he uses that “logic” when considering the “need” for Confession or his own human short-comings.
He seems very immature.

Ask him whether his mother makes him go to the bathroom before he goes out, any more - does the fact that she no longer does this mean that when he was a child, it was “an un-nececessary rule”?

Or are there some rules that fit a particular situation, and when the situation no longer exists, you no longer need the rule?

Should the Church continue to enforce rules whose purpose no longer exists? 🤷
 
You might see what he thinks after viewing the online Examination of Conscience guides that are available.

catholicparents.org/oxcart/Examination%20of%20Conscience.pdf

or

google.com/search?q=adult+Examination+of+Conscience&rlz=1I7ADBR_en&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7

They’ve been very helpful to me in identifying and directing me away from sinful actions.
Those are excellent links - thanks very much. I don’t know if he will read them, but I can give it a try as I attempt to gently try to re-explain the Church’s teachings that he was taught years ago. He tends to turn more away from even listening to reason like this if not done in a real gentle and understanding manner, so it’s hard for me to try to strike the right tone.

He’s actually very mature in most other areas of his life, but he seems to have some kind of a mental block or something regarding Confession and certain sins. There are definitely some serious sins on those lists that he struggles with, but he seems to believe that if HE himself (and a large part of secular society as well) doesn’t think they’re serious, then they’re really not…

He has also used the argument during our discussions that “so many Priests” have been abusers (and some allowed to continue in the Priesthood once discovered) that he is getting very turned off by the Church. Does anyone know a good response to give to this “logic”?

Thanks.
 
He has also used the argument during our discussions that “so many Priests” have been abusers (and some allowed to continue in the Priesthood once discovered) that he is getting very turned off by the Church. Does anyone know a good response to give to this “logic”?
Explain to him that the priesthood isn’t a “job” like being a banker or street sweeper - you can’t “take away” a priest’s priesthood any more than you can take away a mother’s motherhood, or a man’s manhood - when he is ordained, it becomes a permanent part of him.

However, even the mere suspicion that a priest may have done something wrong is enough to get him suspended from parish work, these days, and moved to a monastery or administrative office where he can’t encounter children or women.

This is very sad, especially since it was only a very few, high-profile priests who were reported on over and over and over and over again, with the same story being repeated thousands of times, until it seemed as if thousands of priests had done this same awful thing, instead of just a few priests, a long time ago. Those priests have been in jail for a really long time now - they won’t be getting out, and some of them are already dead. But the media loves to harp on these stories and repeat them again and again, to make it seem as if there is some kind of an epidemic in the Catholic Church.
 
Explain to him that the priesthood isn’t a “job” like being a banker or street sweeper - you can’t “take away” a priest’s priesthood any more than you can take away a mother’s motherhood, or a man’s manhood - when he is ordained, it becomes a permanent part of him.

However, even the mere suspicion that a priest may have done something wrong is enough to get him suspended from parish work, these days, and moved to a monastery or administrative office where he can’t encounter children or women.

This is very sad, especially since it was only a very few, high-profile priests who were reported on over and over and over and over again, with the same story being repeated thousands of times, until it seemed as if thousands of priests had done this same awful thing, instead of just a few priests, a long time ago. Those priests have been in jail for a really long time now - they won’t be getting out, and some of them are already dead. But the media loves to harp on these stories and repeat them again and again, to make it seem as if there is some kind of an epidemic in the Catholic Church.
Thanks very much, jmcrae. That sounds like some real good info that he will hopefully understand. I know the secular media loves to knock down the Church in any way it can, so it makes sense that it would appear to be many more cases than it actually is.
I appreciate your assistance!
 
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