Question RE: Veiling

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nickybr38

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Would it be appropriate/advisable to ask the Father’s permission prior to veiling in a parish where NO females cover their heads (even the Sister’s are uncovered)?

I ask because in a group where veiling/covering is not the norm, a single female veiling could be seen A: as the veiler attempting to set herself above her peers, B: as an act of defiance against her peers, C: attention seeking… etc. etc. etc. Basically it can be a very jarring and, yes, even upsetting thing for a group that’s used to uncovered heads.

So, would it be proper form to approach the Father first. Further, if he WERE to say ‘no, please don’t wear a veil’, would it then be inappropriate for the said female to wear her veil regardless?

This is all hypothetical. I’m just thinking, that’s what I do. 🙂
 
I cover all the time in public (not just at Mass). I’m far too old to care what anyone else thinks. You can’t please everyone!

Miz
 
nickybr38 said:
Would it be appropriate/advisable to ask the Father’s permission prior to veiling in a parish where NO females cover their heads (even the Sister’s are uncovered)?
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WHAT??! I think you are very mistaken. NO females never cover their heads. That’s pretty much the definition of being a Novus Ordonian! Immodesty and lack of discipline is rampant in NO meetinghalls. If you’d like to veil before the LORD as is demanded of Traditional Catholic females, try your nearest TLM. Jesus may have dined with sinners, but Mary did not dine with Jezebel. 👍
 
Lux_Ad_Orientum said:
WHAT??! I think you are very mistaken. NO females never cover their heads. That’s pretty much the definition of being a Novus Ordonian! Immodesty and lack of discipline is rampant in NO meetinghalls. If you’d like to veil before the LORD as is demanded of Traditional Catholic females, try your nearest TLM. Jesus may have dined with sinners, but Mary did not dine with Jezebel. 👍
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I think she mean no, the word no, not NO as short hand for Novus Ordo. I think the rest of your statement is unfair and uncharitable. You can’t lump everyone in any group together.

To the OP, I occassionally wear a little black beret. Growing up in the 50s and 60s, women in my parish wore hats, not veils. When I go to an EF Mass I wear my little hat. This one is wool, but you could find one made of some other fiber, or crochet one yourself. I wouldn’t worry about what other people think if you decide to cover your head. That’s your choice and your right. I don’t generally like to call attention to myself so I would probably opt for a Chapel Veil rather than a Mantilla, and a black one since my hair is dark.
 
daeve said:
I think she mean no, the word no, not NO as short hand for Novus Ordo. I think the rest of your statement is unfair and uncharitable. You can’t lump everyone in any group together.

To the OP, I occassionally wear a little black beret. Growing up in the 50s and 60s, women in my parish wore hats, not veils. When I go to an EF Mass I wear my little hat. This one is wool, but you could find one made of some other fiber, or crochet one yourself. I wouldn’t worry about what other people think if you decide to cover your head. That’s your choice and your right. I don’t generally like to call attention to myself so I would probably opt for a Chapel Veil rather than a Mantilla, and a black one since my hair is dark.
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Personally I wear hats and I do get a few odd looks (the ladies in this parish don’t even wear hats), but my sister veils and the reaction of non-Catholics has actually been far more hostile then the response of her parish.

I was just curious if veiling is the sort of thing one should discuss with their Priest, especially when veiling is not done in that particular parish. 🙂

PS: To clarify, she veils in Mass but wears headscarves in everyday life. She likes to cover her head. 🙂 It’s very pretty.
 
Lux_Ad_Orientum said:
WHAT??! I think you are very mistaken. NO females never cover their heads. That’s pretty much the definition of being a Novus Ordonian! Immodesty and lack of discipline is rampant in NO meetinghalls. If you’d like to veil before the LORD as is demanded of Traditional Catholic females, try your nearest TLM. Jesus may have dined with sinners, but Mary did not dine with Jezebel. 👍
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Thank you so much for pointinting out that every single woman (excepting one elderly woman from Africa) is a Jezebel and immodest at my parish of over 4,000. I bet the homeless people we feed once a week and the elementary school children we educate wish that all the women would veil because the food would be more memorable and holy and the education more valuable. Me thinks that maybe you have a log stuck in your eye that needs to be removed post haste. :eek:
 
Miserys_Fence said:
I cover all the time in public (not just at Mass). I’m far too old to care what anyone else thinks. You can’t please everyone!

Miz
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I’m curious to know why you cover “all the time in public”. I’m pre Vatican II and we wore hats in Church and when we were out and about. Then came the mantillas which were worn only in Church. If this is something you choose to do, that’s very nice but it has never been required by the Church at least since I’ve been alive.
 
Nicky,

If you feel called to veil and you don’t feel that you are doing it for the self-righteous reasons you mention, then go ahead. It is neither required nor forbidden under current Canon law. Who cares what other people think. Let them be “scandalized”.😉

Gem
 
My formative years were in the Caribbean and the mantillas were the norm at Mass, and to see all the women in mantillas added to the sanctity of the sacrament. To this day I have great respect for women who cover, knowing they are choosing to manifest their love in their dress and appearance.
 
I cover for every Mass. I buy my coverings from headcoveringsbydevorah. They are small (various sizes and styles) and I wear white in the summer and black in the winter when it isn’t cold enough for a hat. The only other lady who covers is 95 years old - I’m 59. We have had several priests and not one has said anything nor have I gotten any comments for any of the parishioners. I personally think everyone got the wrong message years ago when they stopped covering but that is just me but I figure it is the least little thing I can do when I’m in the presence of the Lord. I wear a booney just about every where I go so when outside I’m generally covered - it keeps the light out of my eye - being blind in one I need to make sure nothings keeps me from keeping the other one opened. 🙂
 
nickybr38 said:
Would it be appropriate/advisable to ask the Father’s permission prior to veiling in a parish where NO females cover their heads (even the Sister’s are uncovered)?
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Unless you’re male, you have the right to veil. No permission from the pastor is needed.

Don’t worry that they don’t. Once one does, others will see it as a choice. And it is, at present, a choice left to the individual woman.
 
When I was young, girls didn’t wear mantillas. If you didn’t have a hat, you wore a chapel veil and it was always white for girls. Married women could wear black ones, but if a kid wore a black one, she was going to hear about it in school on Monday. Once you were in high school you could wear a white mantilla, and some girls did, but the grown ups didn’t like it.

My little Italian grandmother lived upstairs and she’d scold my mother for wearing a mantilla instead of a hat like a proper lady. Grandma never set foot in church bare headed. She’s gone for about 25 years now, but I can just imagine what she’d think if she went to Mass some Sunday. I know how much some people here like the look of those mantillas, but in my mind, it was not what a lady wore to church, and certainly not what a girl wore.
 
If you ask the Father, he says no, and you still wear veil, that is defiance, do not do that.

If you wear hat or some solid veil, the majority will not think that you are holier than they. The veil is curiosity, it does not makes anyone holier. The humble submission to the Church is what makes one holy = set aside to God.
 
laszlo said:
If you ask the Father, he says no, and you still wear veil, that is defiance, do not do that.
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I agree that it would be better not to ask. You don’t need his permission and he would have no right to forbid you, since it is a immemorial custom and it has been argued it remains part of the Church’s liturgical law, albeit unenforced. As the old saying goes, better to ask forgiveness than permission, but since you’re not looking to do anything that is not already your right (and some would say duty) then just do it.
 
DavidPalm said:
I agree that it would be better not to ask. You don’t need his permission and he would have no right to forbid you, since it is a immemorial custom and it has been argued it remains part of the Church’s liturgical law, albeit unenforced. As the old saying goes, better to ask forgiveness than permission, but since you’re not looking to do anything that is not already your right (and some would say duty) then just do it.
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Why don’t the priests just announce from the pulpit that women should cover their heads? We never had a problem with it. All the Church has to do is tell us what they want and it will be done. No big deal. It was done for hundreds of years.
 
aicirt said:
Why don’t the priests just announce from the pulpit that women should cover their heads? We never had a problem with it. All the Church has to do is tell us what they want and it will be done. No big deal. It was done for hundreds of years.
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I can’t tell if you’re serious or kidding. Basically, the loss of the immemorial custom of women covering their heads at Mass was the product of the whole spirit of Vatican II schmatza, a combination of ignorance (on the part of the majority) and feminists with an agenda (on the part of a few). At this point I personally think that it is still binding, but that trying to force adherence to the practice would not be prudent. But there are many individual women who are returning to the traditional practice and ultimately I think it will come back “on its own” as it were.
 
As others have said… you don’t need permission to wear a veil.

Secondly, don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. Veiling is not a moral dilemma… it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks!
 
aicirt said:
I’m curious to know why you cover “all the time in public”. I’m pre Vatican II and we wore hats in Church and when we were out and about. Then came the mantillas which were worn only in Church. If this is something you choose to do, that’s very nice but it has never been required by the Church at least since I’ve been alive.
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I do it because I want to. I pick and choose who can or cannot see my hair.

Miz
 
Well, personally, I think it does seem like a bit of a moral dilemma when the crowd you’re around are hostile towards it. 🙂 That’s the only reason I could think of why asking would be prudent.

In a way I’m very sad I’m coming into the Church during a time when veiling is not the norm. I think it would have been awesome to see a Church full of veiled heads. 🙂
 
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