Question regarding convalidation

[Michael_H]

Assuming there is no impediment for either to enter into marriage how long does the “process” of convalidation take? I understand there is paperwork to fill out. Does that mean there is an approval process or is it just documenting the convalidation ceremony? I have been able to find out how long the ceremony lasts but not the time from meeting with the priest to discuss the possible need to have a marriage convalidated to the actual ceremony.

Thanks

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Assuming there is no impediment for either to enter into marriage how long does the “process” of convalidation take? I understand there is paperwork to fill out. Does that mean there is an approval process or is it just documenting the convalidation ceremony? I have been able to find out how long the ceremony lasts but not the time from meeting with the priest to discuss the possible need to have a marriage convalidated to the actual ceremony.

Thanks

It is the same process that is required of all Marriages usually.

The paperwork and the investigation into Baptisms and prior Marriages. The regular Catholic Marriage preparation process usually 6 months to a year. The ceremony is just the exchange of vows in the office or in the church with the witnesses present. Takes 5 minutes usually.

 

[Brigadoon]

The length of time will depend on a variety of factors. I am in the process of convalidation now. B/c my husband is not catholic I had to petition for a dispensation. In our diocese, I was told it takes " a couple of weeks". Once the dispensation is granted we can set a date for convalidation.

Our deacon (pastoral administrator) did not require us to take any marriage prep b/c of the length of our civil marriage. He did quiz me on church teachings before he made that decision. I get the impression from reading here that this is the exception rather than the rule in most diocese.

 

[puzzleannie]

it depends on several factors.
assuming there is no issue like a prior marriage, that requires an annulment investigation, and no other canonical barriers, our diocese offers 3 ways to prepare for convalidation. There is one conference (weekend retreat) for couples who have been civilly married for less than 5 yrs, one for those who have been married longer and have several children, or they can go through the same sponsor couple training that engaged couples do. If they want to reserve the church for a big ceremony the fee and waiting time are the same as for anyone else. If they elect to marry with just the deacon and witnesses, it can be done any time, no fee, usual time is after the evening Mass on Saturday. We had one at a weekday morning Mass recently, I think there is another one planned for St. Valentine’s Day. (aaaawwwww)

other parishes have a program where adults who need initiation sacraments prepare for those and convalidation in the same class, and in one ceremony (following sacramental confession) they are confirmed, receive first communion, and the marriages are convalidated. I am working toward that in this parish, but since I am not the main person to make it happen, it will take a while. These programs typically take about a year.

 

[Michael_H]

puzzleannie,

There were no prior marriages and both of us are Catholic.
The primary reason for the civil marriage was due to my wife needing health insurance. There are several additional reasons like getting really bad advice from a religious education coordinator who never consulted a priest for the correct answers or had him meet with us (we initially wanted and asked to be married in the church).
Neither of us want a big ceremony, we just want to make this situation right as soon as possible.

Thanks everyone for the answers

 

[puzzleannie]

puzzleannie,

There were no prior marriages and both of us are Catholic.
The primary reason for the civil marriage was due to my wife needing health insurance. There are several additional reasons like getting really bad advice from a religious education coordinator who never consulted a priest for the correct answers or had him meet with us (we initially wanted and asked to be married in the church).
Neither of us want a big ceremony, we just want to make this situation right as soon as possible.

Thanks everyone for the answers

the RE director has no business offering pastoral advice unless the RE director is also the pastor. The couple should make the appointment with the priest to discuss their situation and not rely on advice of parish secretary or other lay parish staff.

There is no point in discussing individual marriage situations on this forum, as we have warned many times before. Please save yourself a lot of time and aggravation, make an appointment with your priest, tell the whole story (90% of the time couples do not tell the whole story on the first visit) and get the real deal.

there is simply no way for the person who answers the phones at your parish to give more than a generalized answer to a marriage question, there are way too many variables to give a straight answer.

 

[lsds71]

I am in a similar situation, except that my husband is not Catholic. I am irritated over the fact that we have to “jump through so many hoops” here in Phoenix in order to have the marriage convalidated. Apparently the rules are not the same everywhere and in many places the pastors prescribe preparation on a case-by-case basis… as it should be in my opinion. We have two children and are not intending to have any more, yet we have to attend NFP for a six week period. I am 36, and we are both certain that we will not want to have any more children. I am also a mess when I’m not “hormonally regulated”, so going off birth control is just not happening! My husband is convinced that this is all about the money, and I am inclined to agree with him. For youngsters who don’t know what they are undertaking, I think all this “preparation” is a great idea, as it may encourage many not to marry. We are in this for the long haul and are from solid families where divorce is a none issue, so we are really offended to have to attend the same prep classes as unmarried people who don’t have any concept of what we have already dealt with as married people with a family. I have always intended to raise my children Catholic and am committed to righting this situation, but would like to know why there is not a separate “preparation” for civilly married people with children here in Phoenix, and why is NFP a requirement here when it is not elsewhere? It just seems that there is an assumption that we need help with our marriage when all we need is preparation for the Sacrament! That this is a 6month process is absolutely ridiculous… we are already married with children!!! Whether recognized by the Church or not, to us this is and will always be a valid union between to people who were never previously married and have no children outside of this marriage. Please help me find a way out of the frustration I’m feeling, as these arbitrary rules are what I find so infuriating about the Catholic Church. By the way this is all coming up now because we want to have our second child Baptized and while our “invalid” marriage wasn’t a problem before it apparently is now???
Please, help me make some sense of all this as I’m beyond annoyed about it all.

 

[ChristopherM]

My wife and I are attempting to get our marriage convalidated
we are in the process with a local oratory to do this, I posed the question with the priest that We wanted to get it done quickly as we want to follow the instructions of the church and receive communion during easter time, he said that easter time is 5 weeks and he sounded like it could be done within the 5 weeks, just the paperwork

I literally cry at mass because I cannot receive the Holy Eucharist,

I will pray for you and all who are going through this.

 

[maryjk]

From filling out the paperwork to Convalidation, it took about a month.

We are both considered Catholic, although my husband has never considered himself Catholic. Neither of us had been married before.

 

[puzzleannie]

the reason for “jumping through hoops” in order to get married or to have a civil marriage convalidated is that the pastor, and those to whom he delegates aspects of marriage preparation, have the canon law obligation to ensure that this will be valid marriage, that there are indeed no impediments of law or nature, that consent is free, full and valid, and that both parties intend what the Church intends for the sacrament, since they (the parties) are the ministers of the sacrament. The reason for this caution can be appreciated if we look at the large number of annulments which are being granted precisely because such care was not taken. This is especially important when one party is not Catholic, or when either party has never been instructed on the elements of valid marriage and the topic of Christian marriage, sexuality and family life in general. In addition, with a convalidation being requested, there is at least the possibility if not the assumption that since the parties rejected Catholic teaching and laws in this matter, they may also have other pastoral issues to be addressed, need catechesis, and need restoration to confession and Eucharist as well.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I am in a similar situation, except that my husband is not Catholic. I am irritated over the fact that we have to “jump through so many hoops” here in Phoenix in order to have the marriage convalidated. Apparently the rules are not the same everywhere and in many places the pastors prescribe preparation on a case-by-case basis… as it should be in my opinion. We have two children and are not intending to have any more, yet we have to attend NFP for a six week period. I am 36, and we are both certain that we will not want to have any more children. I am also a mess when I’m not “hormonally regulated”, so going off birth control is just not happening! My husband is convinced that this is all about the money, and I am inclined to agree with him. For youngsters who don’t know what they are undertaking, I think all this “preparation” is a great idea, as it may encourage many not to marry. We are in this for the long haul and are from solid families where divorce is a none issue, so we are really offended to have to attend the same prep classes as unmarried people who don’t have any concept of what we have already dealt with as married people with a family. I have always intended to raise my children Catholic and am committed to righting this situation, but would like to know why there is not a separate “preparation” for civilly married people with children here in Phoenix, and why is NFP a requirement here when it is not elsewhere? It just seems that there is an assumption that we need help with our marriage when all we need is preparation for the Sacrament! That this is a 6month process is absolutely ridiculous… we are already married with children!!! Whether recognized by the Church or not, to us this is and will always be a valid union between to people who were never previously married and have no children outside of this marriage. Please help me find a way out of the frustration I’m feeling, as these arbitrary rules are what I find so infuriating about the Catholic Church. By the way this is all coming up now because we want to have our second child Baptized and while our “invalid” marriage wasn’t a problem before it apparently is now???
Please, help me make some sense of all this as I’m beyond annoyed about it all.

“…we are both certain that we will not want to have any more children.”

This would be an impediment to entering into a valid Marriage, or completing a convalidation.

 

[barbc]

Hi to all,

My husband and I are going thru the same process, he is nonCatholic, I left the Catholic Church 30 years ago and the Lord called us both to the Church individually and as a couple. My husband is needing an annulment. The waiting is difficult, I’ve been an emotional basketcase realizing what grave sins I committed in leaving the Church, etc. We’ve been waiting for over a year since filling out paperwork. It’s been a rollercoaster of hope, despair, joy and depression, and crying at every Mass has been the norm, though I’m getting a little stronger. I’ll be lifting you all in prayer, I can’t help but wonder if this is justice, I’ve never read in the Bible or experienced Jesus telling a repentant sinner he or she would have to wait a year before He would welcome that sinner with open arms into His loving Heart. I’m “offering up” my suffering (which is very similar in intensity to the suffering I experienced when going through divorce or other acute emotional trauma) for my Church and specifically for the annulment process and for those going through it. Sometimes I feel like I can’t endure this any longer but I know that my loving Lord would never cause His children to suffer without bringing good out of it (Romans 8:28), He is a loving God and everything has a purpose, of that much I am sure.

Barb

 

[puzzleannie]

I am in a similar situation, except that my husband is not Catholic. I am irritated over the fact that we have to “jump through so many hoops” here in Phoenix in order to have the marriage convalidated.
. . .
! My husband is convinced that this is all about the money, and I am inclined to agree with him…

what “money” is he talking about? I am unaware of any parish or diocese where marriage preparation, NFP classes, engaged encounter, convalidation retreats etc. cost any money at all or at most nominal cost say to cover room and board at a retreat. does he really think your diocese is getting rich because your bishop wants to insure that couples who marry in the Church contract valid marriages, thereby stemming the tide of annulments?

any couple who has decided not to have children and plans to resort to artificial chemical means, surgery etc to insure this, cannot contract a valid marriage until that resolution changes through pastoral and spiritual counselling and embracing God’s will for marriage.

 

[Jerry-Jet]

Can a convalidation ever take place in a mass?

 

[cameron_lansing]

Can a convalidation ever take place in a mass?

It can, since it is a true celebration of marriage.

Precise details beyond that would depend on the status of the persons involved (is one party non Catholic or non baptized) and the liturgical calendar.

The Rite of Marriage distinguishes among three situations: when both parties are Catholic, when one is a baptized non Catholic, and when one is a non baptized person. Nuptial Masses would be ordinarily the case when both are Catholic. By way of exception, they may also be permitted by the diocesan bishop in the second situation.

The liturgical calendar regulates when the nuptial Mass and the celebration of marriage outside Mass may be celebrated. These are prohibited on certain days of the Church calendar.

 

[sophiemarie]

Hoping someone can offer some guidance on my situation. My fiance and I are both Catholic, and we have started preparing for our December Catholic wedding. My fiance is in the Army, and it looks like he will be deployed before December. We still need to complete pre-marriage classes.

We have been thinking about having a civil marriage (JOP) now and then having a convalidation when he returns from Iraq. We would like the convalidation to be a public ceremony with our friends and families with a reception following. Is this possible, or is a convalidation always a private ceremony? Our priest is telling us that we should wait…

Thanks.

 

[benedictgal]

Hoping someone can offer some guidance on my situation. My fiance and I are both Catholic, and we have started preparing for our December Catholic wedding. My fiance is in the Army, and it looks like he will be deployed before December. We still need to complete pre-marriage classes.

We have been thinking about having a civil marriage (JOP) now and then having a convalidation when he returns from Iraq. We would like the convalidation to be a public ceremony with our friends and families with a reception following. Is this possible, or is a convalidation always a private ceremony? Our priest is telling us that we should wait…

Thanks.

Your priest is offering you some sound advice, although, I can understand that from the military’s viewpoint, they’d like to see you married (benefits and other matters). Now, since we are in January, why can’t you start the classes now and perhaps move up the wedding date to maybe the summer? You are still within your six months window.

As far as convalidations are concerned, I used to help our wedding coordinator with those. In fact, the celebrations were about as grand as a regular wedding. However, the father did not give the bride away because of the civil marriage. Our cathedral’s first rector never charged a church fee for convalidations. He said that it was important to get the situation corrected and he didn’t want to cause any impediment to the couple. He treated the celebration in the same manner as the regular Nuptial Masses.

But, Deacon Cameron is right. There are certain days when the Nuptial Mass (or Nuptial service) is not allowed (Holy Week, for one). Do sit down and talk to your priest. Maybe all three of you can come to an agreement.

 

[sophiemarie]

Thank you for your reply. Moving up the wedding is a possibility, but it might be difficult.

I should have included more information in my original post. My fiance and I live in separate states due to his military training. In order to complete the pre-marriage class requirements, we will take a Catholic Engaged Encounter weekend together in his area. The next available date is in March.

Most of his training after March involves weekend field activities and he will be completely out of contact (no phone no letters) from June - September. After his training is complete, his unit is likely being deployed (late Sept early October).

Our priest has told us that convalidation (in his church) is a private ceremony with just my fiance and I in front of the altar.

We are just looking for a way to make our situation work. My fiance will be in Iraq for at least 15 months. I worry greatly that something might happen to him - he is in the Infantry.

 

[IrishAm]

Thank you for your reply. Moving up the wedding is a possibility, but it might be difficult.

I should have included more information in my original post. My fiance and I live in separate states due to his military training. In order to complete the pre-marriage class requirements, we will take a Catholic Engaged Encounter weekend together in his area. The next available date is in March.

Most of his training after March involves weekend field activities and he will be completely out of contact (no phone no letters) from June - September. After his training is complete, his unit is likely being deployed (late Sept early October).

Our priest has told us that convalidation (in his church) is a private ceremony with just my fiance and I in front of the altar.

We are just looking for a way to make our situation work. My fiance will be in Iraq for at least 15 months. I worry greatly that something might happen to him - he is in the Infantry.

Have your fiance talk to his military chaplain. The Catholic military diocese is very much aware of the particular difficulties presented to those serving our country and how they differ from those in civilian life, and are extremely good at cutting through both ecclesiastical and civil “red tape” when it is appropriate to do so.

 

[puzzleannie]

Hoping someone can offer some guidance on my situation. My fiance and I are both Catholic, and we have started preparing for our December Catholic wedding. My fiance is in the Army, and it looks like he will be deployed before December. We still need to complete pre-marriage classes.

We have been thinking about having a civil marriage (JOP) now and then having a convalidation when he returns from Iraq. We would like the convalidation to be a public ceremony with our friends and families with a reception following. Is this possible, or is a convalidation always a private ceremony? Our priest is telling us that we should wait…

Thanks.

canon law provides that people in need of sacraments should be accommodated, with special provisions for cases like this, military deployment, migrants etc. where preparation time may be shortened at the pastor’s discretion. If he has advised you to wait and be married when fiance returns, could he have another good reason for that advice? consider that carefully before you contract a civil marriage and begin “living in sin”, that is, living in an invalid marriage.