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  • Thread starter Thread starter iluvmybabies
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Luv,

You are old enough to make up your own mind as to what is, or is not, good for you and your children. Obviously, scary movies neither cause *you *nightmares nor cause you to sin, so where’s the problem?

I agree with the poster who said your mother is abusive. You need to make it plain to her that screaming about hell will no longer get a reaction out of you.

Maybe my method will work for you… My mom used to drive me nuts. My role growing up was to be a buffer between her and my older sister, and it kept up after I moved to the opposite coast.

What I did that was successful was to stop reacting. I even resorted to putting the phone down, just picking it up now and then to say “uh-huh.” I stopped defending and explaining my sister, and neither agreed nor disagreed with my mother. I just said “uh-huh” in a neutral tone of voice. It took a long while, but it worked.

Have you heard of “selective hearing?” My dogs may not hear “come” or “sit,” but they can hear “cookie” from a mile away! You need to develop selective hearing, like I did. Hear the news about her and your dad, and react to that. Don’t “hear” the damaging stuff. Let it be background noise into which you occasionally inject an “uh-huh.”

Learn our faith for your *own *sake, not so you can argue with your Mom! It will help *you *to know when she’s wrong, but arguing with her will only feed the monster.

And pray for her. Use what I call the resentment prayer: “God, bless her with all the blessings you have given me, including love and spiritual joy.”

God bless you,

Ruthie
Thanks it’s hard for me to do the selective hearing thing, I have practiced it but when I don’t answer what she wants to hear it starts all over again!! It’s like uhmmm yeah I agree with you?! I dunno?! You know? But thank you for the advice as well…

I just entertain myself with scary movies it doesn’t affect my love for God nor going to church nor doing what I can for others, I still pray and ask for forgiveness etc…
So I didn’t know that watching scary movies was such a big deal to the church?! 🤷
 
Thanks it’s hard for me to do the selective hearing thing, I have practiced it but when I don’t answer what she wants to hear it starts all over again!! It’s like uhmmm yeah I agree with you?! I dunno?! You know? But thank you for the advice as well…
Hey, you’re welcome.

Go ahead and let it start all over again. Let her run the tape as many times as she wants. It’ll get worse - and then it’ll begin to get better.

But no more saying “Yeah, I agree with you.” Just “Uh huh,” or “Mm hmm,” just enough to let her know you’re still on the other end. Not enough to make her think you agree or disagree.

And don’t be afraid to hold the phone away from your ear so all you hear is her voice, not her words. Then when she stops, say “mm hmm.” The only time to say “sure,” is if she asks if you’re listening! And even then, say it without emotion.

Or walk over to the door and say, “Sorry, Mom, there’s somebody at the door, gotta go, g’bye.” No need to tell her it’s you at the door!

God bless you,

Ruthie
 
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