O
ossett
Guest
Hi Good morning. Why is it so difficult for me that the more I try to do good, my actions by my family seemed opposite of what I meant? Hope you understood my question.Thank you God Bless
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M
Mintaka
Guest
Paul talks about this in the Epistle to the Romans, in Chapters 7 and 8. It’s all mixed in with a discussion of the Jewish Law, etc.
"For I do not do that good which I will; but the evil which I hate, that I do.
If then, I do that which I do not will, I consent to the Law – that it is good.
[This means that he’s not rebelling against the Law; he does agree that it’s good and wills himself to follow the Law, he just doesn’t manage to do it.]
Now then, it is not I that does it [the evil I don’t will], but the sin that dwells in me… For to will is present with me; but to accomplish that which is good, I do not find it [in my flesh].
… I find then a law – that when I have a will to do good, evil is present with me.
For I am delighted with the Law of God according to the inward man; but I see another law in the parts of my body, fighting against the Law of my mind and keeping me captive in the law of sin – that is, in the parts of my body.
(Unhappy man that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death? The grace of God, by Jesus Christ our Lord.)
Therefore, I myself, with the mind serve the Law of God; but with the flesh, the law of sin.
There is now therefore no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus, who walk not according to the flesh. For the law of the spirit of life, in Christ Jesus, has delivered me from the law of sin and of death.
For what the [old] Law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh – God sending his own Son, in the likeness of sinful flesh and of sin, has – condemned sin in the flesh. That the justification of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh, but according to the spirit. For they that are according to the flesh, mind the things that are of the flesh; but they that are according to the spirit, mind the things that are of the spirit.
For the wisdom of the flesh is death; but the wisdom of the spirit is life and peace. Because the wisdom of the flesh is an enemy to God; for it is not subject to the Law of God, neither can it be; and they who are in the flesh, cannot please God. But you are not in the flesh, but in the spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you."
Sorry for quoting so much, but you did ask!
Basically, we have original sin in our bodies (from being children of Adam) until Baptism wipes it away. The old Jewish Law was good and from God, but couldn’t fight this because it didn’t come into our bodies and minds and live there. Following the old Law could only be done with your own resources, and what you didn’t have, couldn’t help you.
Jesus’ life comes into us in Baptism, and brings us help from outside. We become little Christs, in body as well as soul. So that is a sort of step up from the old Law.
Even after Baptism, our bodies have a sort of habitual impulse to sin in them, which is called by the fancy term “concupiscence”. Our souls and wills don’t always manage to fight this, because the impulse is so engrained. But the more we work on trying to be like Christ and one with Him, the more we allow His life to live in our bodies as well our souls, and the more He will override our bodies’ bad impulses. (But of course this isn’t because we’re so great, but because God is so merciful.)
Of course, if we actually choose freely to sin, instead of sinning by mistake or habit, that’s a more serious matter. So we need to make sure we allow Jesus to live in our souls and wills, and not try to shut Him out or deliberately disobey Him.
Anyway, the application to you is that first of all, you’re not the only one to have this problem; and second, that this is something you can work on. Becoming like Christ is a process. Talk to a priest or somebody wise about this, if you can. You might like to think up some small goals. Like, instead of saying, “I’ll be nicer to my family”, you could say, “I’ll say one nice thing every day to each of my family members.” You could even make a checklist and check people off every day.
That’s the sort of thing that can make doing better easier to achieve, rather than just big huge abstract goals.
I hope this helped. Btw, there’s a lot of good stuff in Romans, so don’t be intimidated by the tangle-dy reasoning. There’s a very good audio Bible study about it over at Our Lady of the Atonement Parish’s website.
"For I do not do that good which I will; but the evil which I hate, that I do.
If then, I do that which I do not will, I consent to the Law – that it is good.
[This means that he’s not rebelling against the Law; he does agree that it’s good and wills himself to follow the Law, he just doesn’t manage to do it.]
Now then, it is not I that does it [the evil I don’t will], but the sin that dwells in me… For to will is present with me; but to accomplish that which is good, I do not find it [in my flesh].
… I find then a law – that when I have a will to do good, evil is present with me.
For I am delighted with the Law of God according to the inward man; but I see another law in the parts of my body, fighting against the Law of my mind and keeping me captive in the law of sin – that is, in the parts of my body.
(Unhappy man that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death? The grace of God, by Jesus Christ our Lord.)
Therefore, I myself, with the mind serve the Law of God; but with the flesh, the law of sin.
There is now therefore no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus, who walk not according to the flesh. For the law of the spirit of life, in Christ Jesus, has delivered me from the law of sin and of death.
For what the [old] Law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh – God sending his own Son, in the likeness of sinful flesh and of sin, has – condemned sin in the flesh. That the justification of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh, but according to the spirit. For they that are according to the flesh, mind the things that are of the flesh; but they that are according to the spirit, mind the things that are of the spirit.
For the wisdom of the flesh is death; but the wisdom of the spirit is life and peace. Because the wisdom of the flesh is an enemy to God; for it is not subject to the Law of God, neither can it be; and they who are in the flesh, cannot please God. But you are not in the flesh, but in the spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you."
Sorry for quoting so much, but you did ask!
Basically, we have original sin in our bodies (from being children of Adam) until Baptism wipes it away. The old Jewish Law was good and from God, but couldn’t fight this because it didn’t come into our bodies and minds and live there. Following the old Law could only be done with your own resources, and what you didn’t have, couldn’t help you.
Jesus’ life comes into us in Baptism, and brings us help from outside. We become little Christs, in body as well as soul. So that is a sort of step up from the old Law.
Even after Baptism, our bodies have a sort of habitual impulse to sin in them, which is called by the fancy term “concupiscence”. Our souls and wills don’t always manage to fight this, because the impulse is so engrained. But the more we work on trying to be like Christ and one with Him, the more we allow His life to live in our bodies as well our souls, and the more He will override our bodies’ bad impulses. (But of course this isn’t because we’re so great, but because God is so merciful.)
Of course, if we actually choose freely to sin, instead of sinning by mistake or habit, that’s a more serious matter. So we need to make sure we allow Jesus to live in our souls and wills, and not try to shut Him out or deliberately disobey Him.
Anyway, the application to you is that first of all, you’re not the only one to have this problem; and second, that this is something you can work on. Becoming like Christ is a process. Talk to a priest or somebody wise about this, if you can. You might like to think up some small goals. Like, instead of saying, “I’ll be nicer to my family”, you could say, “I’ll say one nice thing every day to each of my family members.” You could even make a checklist and check people off every day.
That’s the sort of thing that can make doing better easier to achieve, rather than just big huge abstract goals.
I hope this helped. Btw, there’s a lot of good stuff in Romans, so don’t be intimidated by the tangle-dy reasoning. There’s a very good audio Bible study about it over at Our Lady of the Atonement Parish’s website.
C
Crumpy
Guest
Well, it’s not right for anybody to give you specific advice, because we can’t see what you’re talking about, and your question is very vague. Too, you shouldn’t be divulging personal information here, either.
If you have a Catholic Church nearby, you can try to meet with a priest or other minister to discuss your situation personally.
If you’re “trying” to be good, does that mean you don’t usually do what is good? See, that’s a personal question that you should discuss in private.
“my actions by my family”? Whose actions? your actions? their actions? Do you mean that their “reactions” are opposite of what you expected? or opposite of what you hoped to accomplish?
Sorry to be nit picky. Maybe you’re typing too fast or not proofreading what you’ve typed.
We should always do what is right, but even when we are doing what is right 1) we should make sure it is right and 2) be gentle and kind when doing what is right and 3) think about whether this is the right time and place to do whatever you’re saying/doing. We need to have an active prayer life at all times and pray to the Holy Spirit for help for wisdom to guide our actions.
Whatever we do or say, we should remember that we are living our life with Christ, and that makes a big difference from just doing whatever we want and saying that is the “right” thing. We need to commit ourselves to doing God’s will, that is, what God commands of us – first to love. Whatever we do, we must do with love. We must treat others as we would wish to be treated.
Know too that Jesus said that the more we conformm our life to His, the more likely that we will suffer some hardship or persecution. We need to learn to accept that, for His sake.
Again, you probably should have some private counseling on this, not in these forums.
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