Questioning God's Love for me

[123teacher]

I have been well educated in the Catholic Faith and have been actively practicing it for more than a decade but still don’t feel personally loved by God. I know what the books say, I know what the Bible says, but it doesn’t feel like it applies to me directly. It is as if God loves me* because* he loves everyone else, but not if I were the only person left on earth. Does this make any sense? I have been practicing blind faith for all these years, believed things only because it is what we’re taught to believe, but my aching heart can’t ever feel loved by God personally. So many persons in my circle of friends express that they feel that God loves them personally and would still love them even if they were the only person left on earth. I don’t know if it is because of my sinful background or the fact I feel that I haven’t really done anything particularly special with my life. I should feel loved, I just don’t. I think I’ll end there for lack of words to express what I am feeling.

 

[Thijmthijm]

God knows and loves every individual, it doesn’t matther if you have a ‘‘sinner’’ background, I recall Jesus’ teaching on sinful people. Luke 16:10
10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

The fact that you don’t feel God’s love is because you probally judge on yourself too hard. Be a little more confident about yourself, and accept God’s love. Think about him with everything going on, for whatever happened, it was God that made it happen *this might help alot aswell, just look at the world, how beautiful it can be!)
I hope you will find God’s love and this helped.

(sorry for my bad english I’m only 15 and not english).

 

[AlanFromWichita]

You have to get past the literal sense of intimacy with scripture and go deeper into an encounter that is true union with Christ.

So how? One way is to expand your prayer life to include “contemplative prayer.” See CCC 2700-2724 on the vocal, meditative, and contemplative expressions of prayer.

See if this might be what you’re looking for:

2709What is contemplative prayer? St. Teresa answers: “Contemplative prayer [oracion mental] in my opinion is nothing else than a close sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with him who we know loves us.” Contemplative prayer seeks him “whom my soul loves.” It is Jesus, and in him, the Father. We seek him, because to desire him is always the beginning of love, and we seek him in that pure faith which causes us to be born of him and to live in him. In this inner prayer we can still meditate, but our attention is fixed on the Lord himself.

2712Contemplative prayer is the prayer of the child of God, of the forgiven sinner who agrees to welcome the love by which he is loved and who wants to respond to it by loving even more. But he knows that the love he is returning is poured out by the Spirit in his heart, for everything is grace from God. Contemplative prayer is the poor and humble surrender to the loving will of the Father in ever deeper union with his beloved Son.

2724Contemplative prayer is the simple expression of the mystery of prayer. It is a gaze of faith fixed on Jesus, an attentiveness to the Word of God, a silent love. It achieves real union with the prayer of Christ to the extent that it makes us share in his mystery.

Alan

 

[WoundedIcon]

Don’t worry, I’ve been there too. Still am, kinda. Like God loves you because you’re human, not for you, right? Well, there’s a flipside to that — every time you feel like God doesn’t love you, ask yourself if you’re human. If the answer’s yes, then He does! And every good thing about you (including being human) comes from Him so of course He loves that about you too. And your flaws? He absolutely hates them… because they hurt you, and He wants you to be well. Think about it, He probably thought of you, me, and everyone else while on that cross. He did that for us, so how could He not love us?

 

[lakotak]

You have to get past the literal sense of intimacy with scripture and go deeper into an encounter that is true union with Christ.

So how? One way is to expand your prayer life to include “contemplative prayer.” See CCC 2700-2724 on the vocal, meditative, and contemplative expressions of prayer.

See if this might be what you’re looking for:

2709What is contemplative prayer? St. Teresa answers: “Contemplative prayer [oracion mental] in my opinion is nothing else than a close sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with him who we know loves us.” Contemplative prayer seeks him “whom my soul loves.” It is Jesus, and in him, the Father. We seek him, because to desire him is always the beginning of love, and we seek him in that pure faith which causes us to be born of him and to live in him. In this inner prayer we can still meditate, but our attention is fixed on the Lord himself.

2712Contemplative prayer is the prayer of the child of God, of the forgiven sinner who agrees to welcome the love by which he is loved and who wants to respond to it by loving even more. But he knows that the love he is returning is poured out by the Spirit in his heart, for everything is grace from God. Contemplative prayer is the poor and humble surrender to the loving will of the Father in ever deeper union with his beloved Son.

2724Contemplative prayer is the simple expression of the mystery of prayer. It is a gaze of faith fixed on Jesus, an attentiveness to the Word of God, a silent love. It achieves real union with the prayer of Christ to the extent that it makes us share in his mystery.

Alan

Thanks for this information. This has been a help to me too.

 

[Warandpeace]

Separate yourself from yourself. I know that’s counterintuitive, but it has worked for me. It’s like I love you, but you’re here, and I want you to be here. It’s not always easy.

Also, there’s a point where your faith should become active. It’s a bit different for everyone. Try joining in on more community church activities.

 

[R_C]

I have been well educated in the Catholic Faith and have been actively practicing it for more than a decade but still don’t feel personally loved by God. I know what the books say, I know what the Bible says, but it doesn’t feel like it applies to me directly. It is as if God loves me* because* he loves everyone else, but not if I were the only person left on earth. I should feel loved, I just don’t. I think I’ll end there for lack of words to express what I am feeling.

Can you still love him back?

True love, which the Greeks called agape, is a love that is given spontaneously without expecting or even desiring anything in return. This is different from eros, the kind of love that is somewhat rooted on “self-benefit”. Someone described this as: “I love you because I feel good, and it makes me happy to love you”. Another kind of love is philos, the love of friendship. This is still a mutual feeling.

Agape love is unconditional - it is God’s love. It is totally self-less. The closest (and yet imperfect) version of this is the love of a parent for his or her child. Even if he or she one day does no longer feel loved by his or her child, he or she will still love that child - because that love is unconditional.

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Even if she may forget, I will not forget you! Behold, I have engraved you on my hands.

God is a great lover, the greatest lover ever. He does not want us to be forced to love Him: he wants us to fall in love with Him. And, as the Canticle of Canticles and the poems of St. John of the Cross will show you, He sometimes hides from you for a bit…

.“God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being.”…

“In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me.” So some of his disciples said to one another, “What is this that he says to us, ‘A little while, and you will not see me, and again a little while, and you will see me’

you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice!

Many people in the devout life struggle with the opposite, and I often feel great shame because I think that most of what I do may be moved by God’s love for me, while I actually may love him very little…

Because, as John Paul II once wrote: “love is not merely a feeling; it is an act of will”.

Now that being said, this I can tell you as something irrefutable: you are greatly mistaken if you think that God loves the human race, or the communion of saints, and he loves you indirectly because you happen to be there as well. No! God loves you specifically, 123teacher, with the fullness of God’s ineffable love, because He sees you as His only child.

 

[Julia_Mae]

I have been well educated in the Catholic Faith and have been actively practicing it for more than a decade but still don’t feel personally loved by God. I know what the books say, I know what the Bible says, but it doesn’t feel like it applies to me directly. It is as if God loves me* because* he loves everyone else…

No, God loves you because He’s God and that’s what He does. His love for you isn’t about you, it’s about Him.

When I had my baby, I loved her. I loved her before she was born and I didn’t even know her. And after she was born she didn’t do thing one to make me love her. Mostly she slept. Or pooped. Or cried.

Loving her was about me and my relationship to her. God loves you. He’s God. That’s just the way it works.

 

[MarcoPolo]

I should feel loved, I just don’t.

The good news is, no matter what your feelings are, they aren’t a measure of whether or not God loves you. No matter what your friends claim. They should feel blessed for “feeling” loved, but that’s not the end-all barometer of whether or not God loves them. Some of the greatest saints, like St. Padre Pio or Bl. Mother Teresa spent years and years feeling a cold distance and absence of a “feeling” of love. That means you could be a tremendous saint! Also, it is very common to believe you follow just because you are “supposed” to. May I recommend delving into the faith, checking out the apologetics pages on websites like Catholic.com here and see the rationale behind Church teaching. Your faith needn’t be “blind.” The more I dove into it and challenged the soundness of the Church’s teaching, the more rock solid it became. Welcome to the forums.

 

[At_His_Feet_1]

I have been well educated in the Catholic Faith and have been actively practicing it for more than a decade but still don’t feel personally loved by God. I know what the books say, I know what the Bible says, but it doesn’t feel like it applies to me directly. It is as if God loves me* because* he loves everyone else, but not if I were the only person left on earth. Does this make any sense? I have been practicing blind faith for all these years, believed things only because it is what we’re taught to believe, but my aching heart can’t ever feel loved by God personally. So many persons in my circle of friends express that they feel that God loves them personally and would still love them even if they were the only person left on earth. I don’t know if it is because of my sinful background or the fact I feel that I haven’t really done anything particularly special with my life. I should feel loved, I just don’t. I think I’ll end there for lack of words to express what I am feeling.

I was always told by my mother, "When you do things for others, don’t expect a reward or even a ‘Thank you’…just…do for them, because it is needed.

This isn’t to say that our Father in heaven doesn’t thank us. Not at all… We are NEVER to tally what we think/do is right on this earth or amass things that will rust. For ALL that we do for Him, is accounted for. You can bank on it!

There will come a time for ALL, when as I call it - The dark night of the soul.

Mother Teresa went through it, and so many others! You aren’t alone.

The closer you come to our Lord - the closer, will the ‘unmentionable one’ try to sway you from the true path.

Spiritual life with our Lord wasn’t meant to be a smooth road. He never promised that at all. We ALL have our own crosses to carry, and in the times when we think that He has abandoned us, is when He is most with us.

In our mortal misgivings…

We ‘choose to see’ what we want to see, as opposed to allowing Him guide us, and transform us what we really need.

 

[Breezy16]

I wish I could feel personally loved by God, but He is making me work for His mercy. I know He loves me, but He makes me go through my own Hell. I have very little social contact, and I can barely look people in the eye. I am very defensive and shy. I go to college to socially die. I have to take science, math, and humanties, all three classes that are repeating what you learned since you were five. I usually hope that I could die in my sleep, but of course, I always wake up mentally exhausted but physically healthy. I would welcome taking a job at a store or restaurant for minimum wage, because high school burned me out. I am fairly well off, and my parents want my happiness, but insist that I attend college. I know I won’t get married or have kids, and I probably won’t move out. If I’m alone, I can’t function normally. I’m sorry for your pain, and I wish you the best. As for me, I am ready to change myself, but it is just so hard. I don’t think I should be alone, because I am not cut out to be a priest or monk. I want to do volunteer work to give back to Jesus for his suffering at my hands. I wish that a sweet girl would lie next to me every night, but He sits on my bedside, purging my demons during the night.

 

[At_His_Feet_1]

I wish I could feel personally loved by God, but He is making me work for His mercy. I know He loves me, but He makes me go through my own Hell. I have very little social contact, and I can barely look people in the eye. I am very defensive and shy. I go to college to socially die. I have to take science, math, and humanties, all three classes that are repeating what you learned since you were five. I usually hope that I could die in my sleep, but of course, I always wake up mentally exhausted but physically healthy. I would welcome taking a job at a store or restaurant for minimum wage, because high school burned me out. I am fairly well off, and my parents want my happiness, but insist that I attend college. I know I won’t get married or have kids, and I probably won’t move out. If I’m alone, I can’t function normally. I’m sorry for your pain, and I wish you the best. As for me, I am ready to change myself, but it is just so hard. I don’t think I should be alone, because I am not cut out to be a priest or monk. I want to do volunteer work to give back to Jesus for his suffering at my hands. I wish that a sweet girl would lie next to me every night, but He sits on my bedside, purging my demons during the night.

You are NEVER alone.

Whether the Good God calls you to lead a celibate life or with others.

We ALL have demons to purge. Within and without ourselves.

God’s Mercy isn’t restricted to this or that. When we ask for help, “Do so…with an open heart.”

He listens…whether you think so or not.

If you’re not cut out to be a priest or monk…then so be it. There are many ways to serve the Lord. If you ARE… I pray for your soul. I pray that God will show you the way.

Please pray to Our Lady and Jesus Christ for guidance.

Give Repentance.and accept the Eucharist!

 

[AlanFromWichita]

I want to do volunteer work to give back to Jesus for his suffering at my hands. I wish that a sweet girl would lie next to me every night, but He sits on my bedside, purging my demons during the night.

Do you have any particular volunteer work in mind? I know in Wichita there are lots of opportunities as far as organizations.

Alan

 

[Servant31]

123 I think I understand the feelings you are going through. For myself I battle with scrupulosity. I basically never FEEL good enough, strong enough, that I have sacraficed enough, etc. And in a way I havent. But none of us have, ever. It sounds like there is some loniliness somewhere in your life? I have found that when my friends treat me a certain way, or my parents, etc., I project that onto God. If my friends are being pricks and acting like I deserve it I eventually start to FEEL that I deserve it. Not sure if this describes your situation or not. What this all means for me is that when I FEEL that God doesnt love me its often more of a reflection of my ability to feel loved by anyone, not just God. I once had a priest tell me laughing, “no one could pass your test.” And after thinking about it he was quite correct . I thought to myself about the people I loved. Did I care if they made a mistake? Looked silly? No! In fact thats what I loved about them. I know its hard sometimes to know something emotionally rather than just intellectually. But God does love you, and, quite frankly, theres nothing you can do about it

 

[Julia_Mae]

I wish I could feel personally loved by God, but He is making me work for His mercy. I know He loves me, but He makes me go through my own Hell. I have very little social contact, and I can barely look people in the eye. I am very defensive and shy. I go to college to socially die. I have to take science, math, and humanties, all three classes that are repeating what you learned since you were five. I usually hope that I could die in my sleep, but of course, I always wake up mentally exhausted but physically healthy. I would welcome taking a job at a store or restaurant for minimum wage, because high school burned me out. I am fairly well off, and my parents want my happiness, but insist that I attend college. I know I won’t get married or have kids, and I probably won’t move out. If I’m alone, I can’t function normally. I’m sorry for your pain, and I wish you the best. As for me, I am ready to change myself, but it is just so hard. I don’t think I should be alone, because I am not cut out to be a priest or monk. I want to do volunteer work to give back to Jesus for his suffering at my hands. I wish that a sweet girl would lie next to me every night, but He sits on my bedside, purging my demons during the night.

Hey! Hey, life is pretty long and it won’t be this way forever. Are you at a university? They usually have a counselling center. And monks live in communities with other men, but it sounds like you’d like a woman in your life. Someplace, a nice painfully shy young woman is wishing she had a nice young guy to talk to who would understand.

Try a reputable online dating service. Just to find one to talk to. Yes, you will move out someday. Hey, no giving up on life yet, okay? (Sorry about being stuck in school when you don’t want to be there. )

 

[Lady_Love]

I have felt exactly as you do. I know just how painful it is. Death would be more merciful than to live not feeling loved by God. Know this: God longs infinitely and intensely to have His love received by you. The longing you feel to be loved is only a fraction of His longing for you, personally.

The biggest barrier to experiencing His love is not being able to receive it. I have felt my heart so hard and incapable of receiving His love that I would beat my breast hard in hopes that it would soften or open. I tried everything for four years to crack my heart. I, like you, used to beg for mercy.

I will save you a lot of mistakes and tell you the only thing that finally opened my heart. Spending time with Jesus in the Eucharist. I would crawl to the foot of the tabernacle and curl up in a ball underneath it. I would cry, I would hurt, I would often be emotionally absent and cold, I would complain and tell Him how much I wanted to feel and know His love for me. I would say, “How can I ever love you or my neighbor if I don’t know what it feels like to be loved by love itself.”

Honestly, I think Jesus wanted me to know what it feels like to feel unloved, to feel as He does, to feel the pain of hearts all over the world who desperately want to be loved. Honey, I believe you are being prepared for your future mission.

Don’t give up on God. Take this awareness of “longing for love” and use it to love God who is not loved enough. He is not loved and you know His pain in a very unique and experiential way. To know the painful longings of His heart IS to know Him. You are truly blessed.

 

[Breezy16]

You know what would be a great job to have? The teamsters always stuck together, and I would love to travel the country. I know better than to be the next Jimmy Hoffa. I just want to be different than my family. My parents, aunts and uncles, and cousins all went to college. They went into computer science, nursing, chemistry, doctoring, lawyering, biology, and engineering. I’m especially good at history, but going through all of the general education requirements is killing me. Also, I always wanted to be like my grandpa. I wouldn’t like anything better than being a self made man, getting married young, having a few kids, and lighting up under the stars. Sorry stoners, I don’t mean weed. I like junky khakis, short hair, and my brand is Camel. I don’t like Joe the party Camel, just the desert camel. Marlboro Reds just kid. I ain’t no style boy. I like white, junky shoes. I hate the popular kids. I like the Al Bundys of the world.