Questions about birth controll

[ettac5]

I am 47 and my wife is 46 we have 5 kids from the age of 22 down to 7 my wife is on medication that she has to take the rest of her life if she becomes pregnant the baby will have certain birth defects this is hurting us in the bedroom we do not wantany more children we already have 5. natural family planning does not work at all with us what do we do?? I want to have a vasectemy i know the church frowns on this i need some advice thank you

 

[savienu]

Why does NFP not work for you? What methods have you tried? Have you taken a course in NFP? The Chuch teaches that any artificial contraception (this includes sterilization) is gravely sinful.

 

[Seatuck]

I am 47 and my wife is 46 we have 5 kids from the age of 22 down to 7 my wife is on medication that she has to take the rest of her life if she becomes pregnant the baby will have certain birth defects this is hurting us in the bedroom we do not wantany more children we already have 5. natural family planning does not work at all with us what do we do?? I want to have a vasectemy i know the church frowns on this i need some advice thank you

You should both take NFP classes and learn a different method that will work for you. Get a coach. I know it is difficult.It is good that you would want to protect a child from birth defects. But, you should also trust in God . Spend some time before the Blessed Sacrament with Christ. Ask him to help you carry your cross . It is a difficult cross but it is one he has asked you to carry nonetheless although he will be happy to unite your suffering with his to make your burden lighter. You will also want to ask him to help you build your trust in God.
Seriously you cannot use birth control or sterilization as it would damage your marriage. The church declares it intrinsically evil. This is more than frowning and much more serious to your soul.

Contact the Paul VI institute to ask for an NFP only doctor to help or contact the Couple to Couple League to get some help. You do have a serious reason to abstain from conceiving right now. Hang in there.

 

[KathyA]

First, I applaud you for trying to get some guidance before running out to get a vasectomy.

Second, have you taken a class on NFP? There are others here who are far more knowledgeable than I on this, but I think that everyone agrees that classes are helpful for both the husband and wife, especially if it hasn’t “worked” well before.

Third, praying for you. I don’t know what else to say, but I hope that you will get through this difficult time.

Kathy

 

[jwashu]

I am 47 and my wife is 46 we have 5 kids from the age of 22 down to 7 my wife is on medication that she has to take the rest of her life if she becomes pregnant the baby will have certain birth defects this is hurting us in the bedroom we do not wantany more children we already have 5. natural family planning does not work at all with us what do we do?? I want to have a vasectemy i know the church frowns on this i need some advice thank you

I’m going to assume that if you have been trying to be faithful to the Church all these years, are in your 40s and have 5 kids that you must be doing something right and that you understand NFP and that it truly won’t work for you.

At your age, if your wife can not have children for medical reasons there are some who would say just abstain… that’s not reality nor what I believe the Church wants us to do. The renewing of the Marriage Covenant is very important to a happy marriage.

The Church does teach that oral contraceptives can be taken for medical reasons if the primary reason is not to contracept. Is that the medication your wife is on? If so then you are good.

If it is medication that is for other issues that will cause major birth defects I would submit a question on ask an apologist. Remember that even if NFP won’t work you should still be able to have relations right after her cycle is ended with very little chance of getting pregnant or during her cycle. I know that’s only a few days per month but it’s better than nothing.

Me personally I’m in a similar boat right now… but we are just almost 40 and have 3 children, 4th in a few week. I know what the Church teaches but I also know many Catholics and some Priests who consider a vasectomy a option. For me I believe we have been blessed with children beyond our highest hopes but my wife has SVT and another pregnancy could kill her. I have to believe on some level that God would rather my sons have a mother and us be together than risk another pregnancy. Yea yea… I know what all the nay sayers will say and yea I have read West’s books.

So truly I don’t know exactly what to tell you except that I’ll pray for you to make the right decision, will you pray that I can do the same?

Joe

 

[savienu]

I’m going to assume that if you have been trying to be faithful to the Church all these years, are in your 40s and have 5 kids that you must be doing something right and that you understand NFP and that it truly won’t work for you.

At your age, if your wife can not have children for medical reasons there are some who would say just abstain… that’s not reality nor what I believe the Church wants us to do. The renewing of the Marriage Covenant is very important to a happy marriage.

The Church does teach that oral contraceptives can be taken for medical reasons if the primary reason is not to contracept. Is that the medication your wife is on? If so then you are good.

If it is medication that is for other issues that will cause major birth defects I would submit a question on ask an apologist. Remember that even if NFP won’t work you should still be able to have relations right after her cycle is ended with very little chance of getting pregnant or during her cycle. I know that’s only a few days per month but it’s better than nothing.

Me personally I’m in a similar boat right now… but we are just almost 40 and have 3 children, 4th in a few week. I know what the Church teaches but I also know many Catholics and some Priests who consider a vasectomy a option. For me I believe we have been blessed with children beyond our highest hopes but my wife has SVT and another pregnancy could kill her. I have to believe on some level that God would rather my sons have a mother and us be together than risk another pregnancy. Yea yea… I know what all the nay sayers will say and yea I have read West’s books.

So truly I don’t know exactly what to tell you except that I’ll pray for you to make the right decision, will you pray that I can do the same?

Joe

I would humbly submit that just because you have met other Catholics and even priests who dissent from the Church’s teaching on artificial contraceptives and sterilization, doesn’t mean that these things are up for debate.