Questions about coming back into Catholicism

[Riman643]

Hi everyone! This is my first post so I am not sure where this post should go. I was hoping some of you with much greater understanding of the Church could help me get started in coming back.

Background Information: I am a 21 year old man who is currently in college. I was baptized Catholic and also have done my first confession and first communion. I was never confirmed however. My parents stopped taking my two sisters and I to church when we started getting really busy. Anyway recently I had a breakdown of sorts when last Thursday I woke up around two in the morning and just started sobbing. This is surprising because I hardly ever cry. Anyway after some soul searching I determined that a part of that sadness I was feeling was because I had given up on my faith and turned my back on Jesus. So I have decided to re-devote myself to him and try to be the best Catholic I can possibly be and be an example to people in my life. So without further ado here are my questions (I have numbered them as to make it easier to answer):

(1): Can I go to church or do I have to sign up or have I been gone to long where I will no longer be accepted?

(2): Can I still be confirmed? I think you have to be confirmed if you want to be married in the Catholic Church and I definitely want that.

(3): Since I’ve been gone for 10+ years do I need to redo any of the sacraments (baptism, communion, confession)?

(4): If I can go to church can I just sit and observe a few times? I haven’t been in forever and I would prefer to just stand in the back and observe a few times before fully participated so I don’t look like an idiot.

(5) When/If I am ready to fully participate can I take communion? I think I remember that you have to confess before you receive communion.

(6) Are there any guides/tools that will help me study and better guide me through and understand the Bible or the CCC (Catechism of the Catholic Church)? I want to start studying both of these soon and I want to fully understand the Church’s teachings as well as the meaning of God’s word.

(7) Are there any other documents/texts of which I should know?

(8) This may sound silly but is there a correct way to pray? I’ve been praying every night before bed but I don’t know I’m doing it correctly, if that applies to praying.

(9) Can I go to church more than once a week? I take it that once a week is probably the standard but is it frowned upon to go more than once a week? Once I get comfortable with going I would like to go as often as possible.

(10) Are there any other sacraments in which I need to complete after confirmation?

(11) What should I include in my prayers?

(12) How often should I pray? Is there a standard amount of times I should do it a day?

(13) Where should I post about sins that I may or may not be committing? This is a big one for me because I would hate to be committing sins I don’t know I am committing.

These are all the ones I could think of off the top of my head. I had four pages worth of questions that I had written on a word document but I forgot to save it

Anyway thanks to all who reply and/or read. This forum has already helped me out tremendously and I am so thankful I was able to register and be part of such a fantastic community!

 

[fred_conty]

I would recommend that you just have a little talk with a priest, any priest of your choosing.
Just tell him what you have told us and he will give you the guidance you want.

It isn’t difficult for any Catholic who wants to return to Christ. The first thing is a confession of all mortal sins that you can think of in your past. For this it would be good to first have that talk with the priest so he can help you with this.

One thing you should know. Every priest is there to help you return, that is what they want as much as you want it. So they are kind and understanding with your situation, and will be gentle.

From there, the priest will tell you what else you might want to think about.

Best wishes, and I know once you do this you will feel like the world has just been lifted from your shoulders.

 

[Riman643]

Thank you for your reply fred conty. I just emailed a priest that is at a parish that primarily is catered towards students at the university. I am hoping all goes well and that he will be able to answer some of my questions.

 

[Catholic1954]

Welcome (back) Home! We missed you. You can go to Mass anytime, as often as you like, but you should skip communion until you have spoken to the priest and had a chance for him to hear your confession. Try and make the Saturday night service on April 15. It is the Easter Vigil, our holiest night of the year and very special. You can still be confirmed, but there is no need to repeat Baptism or 1st Communion; the three left are Matrimony, Holy Orders and Anointing of the Sick. You could really benefit from going through the RCIA program, ask the priest about it when you meet. It will catch you up on the teaching of the Church and you will make some Catholic friends in the parish. You could start your prayer life with the rosary. There are many resources available online to get you started. There is no correct or incorrect way to pray; God knows all about you, just talk to Him. The big sin to avoid is all mortal sin, such as, sex before marriage, pornography, etc… The priest can give you more details.

 

[sugarmouse]

I’ll answer as best I can

1. No, you don’t need to sign up to attend a church. You can go to Mass at any Catholic church you like, whether it’s your local parish or not (although it’s a good idea to attend your own parish if you can).
2. Yes, you can be confirmed at any age. Actually, you don’t HAVE to be confirmed to be married in the Church, but as I understand it, if you weren’t confirmed the priest would almost certainly arrange for that to happen beforehand.
3. You won’t be baptised again - baptism isn’t a repeatable sacrament (and I promise your first baptism is still working just fine ). Communion and confession ARE repeatable, meant to be received throughout your life, so you will do those again regularly.
4. You’re fine to just sit at the back and watch if you don’t feel comfortable, but don’t worry, you won’t look like an idiot if you’re unsure what to do.
5. Yes, you will have to confess before receiving communion again. Speak to a priest, and he can arrange for you to confess (it’s helpful to arrange an appointment if you’ve not confessed in a long time, as it can take a while to get through everything).
6. There’s an abridged version of the catechism, and also an abridged version aimed at young adults called the Youcat. As for the Bible, I’d recommend starting with the Gospels. The Bible isn’t a “straightforward” read - historical context, genre etc. all have to be taken into account, and read in light of Church teaching. Here’s a podcast series on the Bible which I found recently (I’m only a few episodes in, but so far it’s quite promising):

catholicboard.com/

1. Other than the catechism, this website is actually a good start for resources, answers to questions etc. It’s where I started when I was first rediscovering my faith.
2. Nope, no ‘wrong’ way to pray! There are certainly lots of different ways to pray, for example, praying the rosary, going to Eucharistic Adoration, silent prayer, Lectio Devina (a way of meditating on the Bible), and so on. You can look into these things, if you’re interested, but remember that they’re only helpful so far as they deepen your relationship with God. Don’t ever feel that you need to pray a certain way or using a certain method. Saying that, a lot of prayer methods are very helpful, and there are lots of them to explore and see what workds best.
3. Ah, you are ENCOURAGED to go to Mass more than once a week! Once a day even is not excessive! If you can go to Mass during the week, that’s a great thing. Mass during the week you’ll notice is slightly simpler than Sunday Mass (one reading instead of two (usually), the priest gives either no homily or just a short one, etc.) but it’s almost the same. If you’re feeling a bit self-conscious about not having been in a while, then weekday Masses tend to be less busy, too.
4. Nope, after confirmation, that’s it. All that’s left is marriage, holy orders, and the anointing of the sick.
5. Again, there’s no set ‘way’ of praying, but you can say that there are four main ‘kinds’ of prayer - Adoration, Contrition, Thanksgiving, and Supplication (you have the acronym ACTS). So adoration = expressing your love for God, contrition - telling Him you’re sorry for your sins, thanksgiving = thanking God for your life and the gifts He’s given you, and supplication = when you’re asking God for something, either for yourself or for someone else. You don’t have to do all these things every time you pray, by the way. It’s just a rule of thumb, because we do tend to spend a lot of time praying for things from God, and it’s good to remember to pray in other ways, too. Don’t feel that prayer is that formulaic, though. It’s perfectly fine to just talk to God about whatever’s on your mind.
6. No standard amount of time to pray in a day, so just pray as you feel you can. I’d say, set at least ten minutes a day aside to pray, to start with. You can always pray more, but it’s good to make sure you’re spending at least some time every day, get into the habit of prayer. Prayer isn’t always easy, so never be discouraged - that’s normal.
7. Please don’t worry about sins you may or may not be committing - you can’t sin by accident! You WILL learn over time about what’s a sin and what’s not, but accept that it’s a process. Ask a priest, consult the catechism, look up the answer etc. as situations come up, but don’t feel as if you need to know everything at once. God isn’t standing over you with a clipboard waiting for you to sin! Becoming holy - it’s a journey. You’ll learn as you go, and as your conscience develops, you’ll find that it’s easier and easier to tell what’s a sin and what isn’t. You don’t want to become one of these poor people who obsess over whether every little action they do is a sin. That’s not what God wants. He wants a relationship with you.

I hope some of that is helpful.

Oh, and welcome back to the Church!

 

[mVitus]

Welcome back, Riman. As someone who’s done a bit of returning I can help with some of your questions. (Though not all of them.) Surgarmouse (SM) had some decent answers that I’ll essentially repeat, but there are some things I’ll answer.

1: see SM. Take a look at the Mass times and find what works for you.

2: As SM said, you can be confirmed. (It’s even recommended.) Your Church may have a program for adult candidates, though you can certainly ask the priest.

3: As SM said, Baptism is still valid. (From the Nicene Creed: I believe in ONE baptism for the forgiveness of sins). Confession is done over and over and you are highly encouraged to go after being away for a while. When you go just let the priest know that it’s been 10 years and you need some help with the process. Even if you only walk in only knowing you need to confess your sins, that’s okay. And as you’ve been way you might consider making an appointment as opposed to going at a regular time. For me personally having the time to also ask the questions I had was very useful as priests at a regular time generally aren’t as ready for a long single confession. But if talking with a priest face to face is intimidating, then a regular time will have a screen. And communion is advised regularly when in a state of grace.

4: I’d say to give it your best try. People at Mass aren’t going to be focused on you so looking like an idiot isn’t too much of a worry. (And as a tip, kneel and make the sign of the cross before before sitting in your pew. That’s the first ‘whoops’ I had when I didn’t.) Just follow the congregation in sit-stand-sit-stand-sit-stand-kneel-sit-stand. (Think I got it all.) And your Church’s song book will likely have the Apostle’s/Nicene creed for your to read off of.

5: Your priest will be the best to help you fully understand that. In essence when you don’t need to go to Confession you may partake. But he’ll help you with true comprehension.

6: I’m not knowledgeable enough about books.

7: I’m not knowledgeable enough to say THESE are the ones you need to know. It partially depends on what questions you wonder.

8: Prayer is personal. Whatever brings you closer to God is a good prayer. I do recommend at least giving the rosary a try.

9: See SM’s post,

10: Need to? No.
Might want to? Yes.
See SM’s post.

11&12: General things to include are thanksgiving, petitions, and sorrow for sins at least once a day,

13: Do not go asking this forum for help understanding sin. It will take your happiness and crush it like a bug. (My personal rule of thumb is to ask this forum only those questions where I can afford an unclear/wrong answer. There aren’t many where that applies.) Reading threads in Moral Theology was possibly one of the worst decisions I made at the very beginning. Your priest is the best person to ask, which is why I would recommend that first confession, if you’re comfortable with face to face, back being an appointment so you can ask all your questions to get good answers.

 

[Roseeurekacross]

My advice,

Your Baptism and Communion and confession all stand.

Go to Mass. See a Priest beforehand if possible, for Confession. I would go to Mass ASAP, to get back into the swing of things, even while awaiting confession. Just dont take communion until confession.

Dont sweat on your sins. The Priest has that job of hearing and absolving you.

Start your journey just sitting in Church. Pray or be silent and listen. Its all good

 

[petra22]

I just want to say about the sobbing… it is a real call from Jesus and such a special gift to realize something is missing in your life. I had the same experience just when I thought I had everything I could possibly want. God is so good. You are still a Catholic though you have been away for a while. Like the people are telling you, go talk to a priest, go to confession and then ENJOY Holy Communion. It’s really Jesus! Welcome Home!!!

 

[Dorothy]

Riman:

Our Lord Jesus Christ is waiting for you with open arms! He loves you very much.

 

[Crusaderbear]

Welcome home! Having recently returned myself, I can say all the advice here is solid. No one will fault you for coming back! Good luck!

 

[Lenten_ashes]

Welcome back.

So nice to have you!!!

 

[Riman643]

Welcome (back) Home! We missed you. You can go to Mass anytime, as often as you like, but you should skip communion until you have spoken to the priest and had a chance for him to hear your confession. Try and make the Saturday night service on April 15. It is the Easter Vigil, our holiest night of the year and very special. You can still be confirmed, but there is no need to repeat Baptism or 1st Communion; the three left are Matrimony, Holy Orders and Anointing of the Sick. You could really benefit from going through the RCIA program, ask the priest about it when you meet. It will catch you up on the teaching of the Church and you will make some Catholic friends in the parish. You could start your prayer life with the rosary. There are many resources available online to get you started. There is no correct or incorrect way to pray; God knows all about you, just talk to Him. The big sin to avoid is all mortal sin, such as, sex before marriage, pornography, etc… The priest can give you more details.

Thank you Catholic 1954, it’s great to be back. I’m glad I can still be confirmed. As for the sins, I have already stopped doing the major ones I knew were bad such as marriage before sex (luckily I’m still a virgin, there were many times I almost fell to temptation), masturbation, and pornography. God has blessed me with a non-addictive personality so these have been very easy to give up thus far. I just had very specific questions regarding some of these sin but I will ask a priest about them.

I’ll answer as best I can

Thank you so much your reply sugarmouse. Your answers have helped me greatly. Hopefully the priest I emailed will get back to me soon. And I guess I should relax a little about not worrying about knowing every little detail about every sin. I just want to correct any sinful ways of life. Also, what do holy orders and anointing of the sick entail?

Welcome back, Riman. As someone who’s done a bit of returning I can help with some of your questions. (Though not all of them.) Surgarmouse (SM) had some decent answers that I’ll essentially repeat, but there are some things I’ll answer.

Thank you mVitus for answering my questions. And thanks for the advice on the moral theology section. After I talk with the priest I will see if I have any trivial/uncomfortable questions I would feel weird about asking my priest.

My advice,

Your Baptism and Communion and confession all stand.

Go to Mass. See a Priest beforehand if possible, for Confession. I would go to Mass ASAP, to get back into the swing of things, even while awaiting confession. Just dont take communion until confession.

Dont sweat on your sins. The Priest has that job of hearing and absolving you.

Start your journey just sitting in Church. Pray or be silent and listen. Its all good

Thank you for your reply Roseeurekacross. I am planning on attending mass today so I am very excited!

I just want to say about the sobbing… it is a real call from Jesus and such a special gift to realize something is missing in your life. I had the same experience just when I thought I had everything I could possibly want. God is so good. You are still a Catholic though you have been away for a while. Like the people are telling you, go talk to a priest, go to confession and then ENJOY Holy Communion. It’s really Jesus! Welcome Home!!!

Thank you petra22. It was such an odd experience for me crying like that. But once I let Jesus back into my heart the sadness I was feeling just disappeared. I am so excited to be with him once again.

Riman:

Our Lord Jesus Christ is waiting for you with open arms! He loves you very much.

Welcome home! Having recently returned myself, I can say all the advice here is solid. No one will fault you for coming back! Good luck!

Welcome back.

So nice to have you!!!

Thank you all for your well and warm welcome.

 

[Church_Militant]

Hi!
Man I know how you feel. Been there and done that. That first Confession after about 30 + years felt soooo good.

Check out my own story at My Testimony and you may feel better and be encouraged. Also know that you will now remain in my prayers and remembered at Mass. Many times I have begun to cry during Mass and especially at the consecration, realizing who that is in the Eucharist and the miracle that I had missed for so many wasted years. It remains one of the most intense times in my life. You may also find that Eucharistic adoration is a great blessing. Even if your parish doesn’t officially have such a time one can still go in and just sit or kneel there before the Lord and talk things over (pray) or even just sit and listen. It’s a great gift!

 

[sugarmouse]

Thank you so much your reply sugarmouse. Your answers have helped me greatly. Hopefully the priest I emailed will get back to me soon. And I guess I should relax a little about not worrying about knowing every little detail about every sin. I just want to correct any sinful ways of life. Also, what do holy orders and anointing of the sick entail?

No problem!

Holy orders = when a man is ordained a deacon, priest or bishop. There are three ‘levels’ of ordination. Before a man’s ordained a priest, he’ll have been ordained a bishop, and the same with a bishop - he’ll first have been ordained a priest. With each ‘level’ come different sacramental abilities - priests can consecrate the Eucharist, hear confessions, but only bishops can perform ordination etc. Ordination isn’t a repeatable sacrament - once ordained a priest, that’s it, and so on.

Anointing of the Sick = this is usually given to someone in danger of death (e.g. on their deathbed, before undergoing major surgery etc.), or to someone with a chronic illness (perhaps a very elderly or disabled person). They’ll be anointed with oil, and the priest will pray for their spiritual healing, and physical healing if it’s God’s will. Usually, the priest will also hear the person’s confession and give them the Eucharist. You’ll sometimes hear anointing of the sick informally referred to as ‘Last Rites’ when it’s given to someone in danger of death (‘last rites’ just meaning, the last sacraments you receive before death). Anointing of the Sick IS a repeatable sacrament, so if the person recovers, they can still receive it again later. It’s becoming more common to give the anointing of the sick to people who have chronic illness. For example, a very elderly person who’s become housebound might receive the sacrament every few months.

Again, there’s stuff in the catechism on all this, and you can ask a priest for more info, so no worries!

 

[Riman643]

Hi all!

I thought I would update you on how what has happened since I last posted. I have gone to mass almost daily (there are no services on Saturdays) even though I was really nervous and scared. The people were super nice and have made me feel welcomed. I am talking to the priest this Thursday about joining RCIA classes next semester as well as doing a confession and answering any remaining questions I’ve had. I feel so blessed to be welcomed back into the church especially during on the most special times of the year.

 

[Casilda]

Hi all!

I thought I would update you on how what has happened since I last posted. I have gone to mass almost daily (there are no services on Saturdays) even though I was really nervous and scared. The people were super nice and have made me feel welcomed. I am talking to the priest this Thursday about joining RCIA classes next semester as well as doing a confession and answering any remaining questions I’ve had. I feel so blessed to be welcomed back into the church especially during on the most special times of the year.

Sounds like wonderful news. Just another word of advice, read up about the saints and read the works of the saints. Rcia only goes so far in teaching the rudiments of the faith and those who have gone on before us are a wonderful resource on how to live our lives.

Free online:
sacred-texts.com/chr/lots/index.htm

 

[YoungApologist3]

Before a man’s ordained a priest, he’ll have been ordained a bishop, and the same with a bishop - he’ll first have been ordained a priest.

A little word mix-up here. What sugarmouse meant was before a man’s ordained a priest, he first must be ordained a deacon.

And welcome home!

 

[sugarmouse]

A little word mix-up here. What sugarmouse meant was before a man’s ordained a priest, he first must be ordained a deacon.

And welcome home!

Oops…

 

[catholic_gal]

This is so beautiful. Don’t doubt for 1 second your “wake-up call” wasn’t directly from the Holy Spirit. Welcome back to the faith!

On to your questions:

(1): You can just go, no need to over complicate it. But you can’t receive the Eucharist until you go to Confession (not going to Mass in so long is a mortal sin, breaking the 3rd Commandment).

(2): Yes, you can go through your parish’s RCIA program (I believe, but someone else might be better equipped to answer that). Ask your parish priest. I know you can, though.

(3): Definitely Confession, and after that, Communion (see my answer to #1). Once baptized, always baptized.

(4): Whatever makes you most comfortable. God knows you’re there. Use the time to commune with Him.

(5) **(Bingo! ) **

(6) **Well, you could read the Catechism (it’s lengthy, but any good Catholic should know it). However if I were you, I’d start small. Pick up some books by the saints. St. Therese de Liseaux’s autobiography, “The Story of a Soul” was a life-changer for me. **

(7) Again, don’t overthink it. God called you back to Him, and He will guide you from this point on. I will say, however, that developing a devotion to Mary is essential, so try saying the Rosary every day. Mary is amazing in how she leads you closer to her Son.

(8) I’m still developing my prayer life, and we’re all at a different place. There is no “right or wrong” way. Don’t bite off more than you can chew at this point. God meets us where we’re at. In time, He will lead you into deeper communion with Him. Trust me.

(9) DEFINITELY!

(10) **Well, if you want to be a priest, then Holy Orders. If you want to get married, then Matrimony. Those 2 are optional, however Last Rites are needed prior to death (if at all possible). **

(11) **Again, this is something you will develop over time. However, St. Ignatius of Loyola developed a nice evening prayer once the day is done to aid you in reflection. It has an acronym, B.A.K.E.R., which stands for:

B: Blessings, meaning go through your day and acknowledge any blessings God sent your way (these can be as simple as just waking up, or the food you ate, to more obvious blessings…“Winning the lottery, lol!”) Give Him the thanks He is due.

A: Ask, meaning to ask the Holy Spirit to descend upon you and be with you as you pray.

K: Kill, which means to review our day and examine anything we might have said, thought, or did (aka - sins) which “killed” the Holy Spirit within us.

E: Embrace, meaning to reflect on Christ’s love for us, in spite of our sinfulness. Here, you should try to meditate for a while. Maybe envision the Crucifixion, and for 5 minutes, think about yourself in relation to what Jesus suffered for you. You’re supposed to find comfort in this exercise.

R: Resolve to try better the next day, learn from the mistakes (sins, or “occasions of sin”) you made today, and amend your life.**

(12) The Catechism says at LEAST 15 minutes a day (hence why the Rosary is so great, cause it takes about 15 minutes. Mary’s got your back!)

(13) **You don’t post your sins anywhere. This is something you should take up with your priest in the Confessional. I would recommend Googling “Catholic Examination of Conscience” and take at least 20 minutes to reflect on what sins you may have committed. The Examination of Conscience is essential to make a good Confession. You begin by calling upon the Holy Spirit to show you your sins, then go through each of the 10 Commandments and examine how you may have broken them. Get a pen and piece of paper, and write everything down to read off of in the confessional. If you’re confused about whether or not a sin is mortal, ask the priest, and he’ll be happy to help.

As a side note, the Church says 3 conditions must be met for a sin to be mortal:

1. The act must be grave matter (aka - breaking a Commandment).
2. The person must have FULL KNOWLEDGE that the act is grave (so if you’re confused on whether or not a sin is mortal, this means you don’t have full knowledge).
3. After reflection, the person still chooses to commit the sin.**

It’s great you’re so enthusiastic, and again, I praise God for calling you back to Him! However, please don’t over complicate. Just go with the flow, place yourself in God’s care, and enjoy the ride. Welcome back!

 

[Riman643]

This is so beautiful. Don’t doubt for 1 second your “wake-up call” wasn’t directly from the Holy Spirit. Welcome back to the faith!

On to your questions:

Thanks for your reply catholic_gal. I have already come along way since I first posted this. It’s a great coincidence that I came back near the time of Easter and I am so grateful. I have joined a Bible study and have been given books to read and in about thirty minutes I’m meeting with a priest to go and confess and ask questions that have been bothering me. I feel so blessed to have this community and the community of the Church I am attending to help me come back and being welcomed with open arms!