questions about Confession

[lefty22]

I’ve returned to the sacrament of Reconciliation fairly recently, and I’m still unsure about a lot of things, so I was wondering if you could help me with some of these questions.

– I’ve read through a lot of examinations of conscience and many of them ask questions like “have I failed to trust God?” or “have I despaired of God’s mercy?” Is it a sin to not trust God? If so, how would you confess it? What about turning away from God? I would assume that is a sin, but how do you confess that? I have also read that giving in to depression is a sin. Is it really? What about thoughts of self-harm? And is it always a sin to speak badly of your parents, even if what is spoken is the truth?

– What exactly is presumption? It seems that it’s nearly impossible not to think that you have confession to fall back on if you sin. Is presumption more if you sin directly because you know you can confess it later, without really caring about the sin?

– I’ve seen in several threads on this forum that if you forget to mention a sin, even a mortal one, in confession, it is still forgiven. But people have also said that you should still confess this sin the next time you go to confession. If it has already been forgiven, why is that necessary?

– How can you avoid the “laundry list” when confessing? I tend to say “I did this, I did that, etc.” Is that an ok way to do it?

– What if you’re uncertain if something is or isn’t a sin? If the situation and circumstances around it are complicated and you can’t explain it all in confession to get the priest’s opinion, should you err on the safe side and confess it? Or should you trust God’s mercy, that if it is a sin and you don’t fully realize it, He will forgive you anyway?

– In my last confession, I wasn’t exactly sure how to confess that I’d received Communion in a state of mortal sin, and on top of that, I forgot to bring it up during the confession. The priest knew that I had, having just given me the Eucharist earlier that morning, so when I was finished telling him my sins, he brought it up and told me not to forget to confess that in the future. Though I didn’t specifically confess it, it was very clearly understood between us that I had done it. Was it forgiven?

Sorry for all of the questions; thank you for any answers or general advice you can give me!
~lefty22

 

[nicolep]

– I’ve read through a lot of examinations of conscience and many of them ask questions like “have I failed to trust God?” or “have I despaired of God’s mercy?” Is it a sin to not trust God? If so, how would you confess it? What about turning away from God? I would assume that is a sin, but how do you confess that? I have also read that giving in to depression is a sin. Is it really? What about thoughts of self-harm? And is it always a sin to speak badly of your parents, even if what is spoken is the truth?

Yes, it’s sinful not to trust God. He should always have our COMPLETE faith. Confessing a sin such as that is as simple and stating that you didn’t have faith in God for how ever long. Depression is something we can’t control most times. We can’t sin on accident.

– What exactly is presumption? It seems that it’s nearly impossible not to think that you have confession to fall back on if you sin. Is presumption more if you sin directly because you know you can confess it later, without really caring about the sin?

Presumption is knowing beforehand that something is sinful. Then, one does it anyway thinking, “Oh well, I’ll go ahead and do it. I’ll just confess it later.”

– I’ve seen in several threads on this forum that if you forget to mention a sin, even a mortal one, in confession, it is still forgiven. But people have also said that you should still confess this sin the next time you go to confession. If it has already been forgiven, why is that necessary?

If one truly forgets, yes, it’s forgiven. However, the Catechism of the Catholic Church requires us to mention it the next time during confession. It’s necessary to state our sins out loud in confession whether they were forgiven already or not. It’s no different than venial sins. They are forgiven in a number of different ways. We’re encouraged, however, to mention those sins in confession. The grace received in the sacrament will help us to avoid them in the future.

– How can you avoid the “laundry list” when confessing? I tend to say “I did this, I did that, etc.” Is that an ok way to do it?

Yes, that’s exactly how it should be done. I simply state what I did. For example, “I was uncharitable to a co-worker three times”.

– What if you’re uncertain if something is or isn’t a sin? If the situation and circumstances around it are complicated and you can’t explain it all in confession to get the priest’s opinion, should you err on the safe side and confess it? Or should you trust God’s mercy, that if it is a sin and you don’t fully realize it, He will forgive you anyway?

I have never been in a situation that I didn’t know if something was sinful. If I wasn’t sure, then I didn’t commit a mortal sin. It was venial if a sin at all. We do not HAVE to confess venial sins.

– In my last confession, I wasn’t exactly sure how to confess that I’d received Communion in a state of mortal sin, and on top of that, I forgot to bring it up during the confession. The priest knew that I had, having just given me the Eucharist earlier that morning, so when I was finished telling him my sins, he brought it up and told me not to forget to confess that in the future. Though I didn’t specifically confess it, it was very clearly understood between us that I had done it. Was it forgiven?

You confess that by saying, “I received Communion in a state of mortal sin one time.” Or however many time you did so. It’s not enough for the priest to know that one committed a sin. The penitent must speak it and have contrition. Since you forgot, I would say, “Yes, it was forgiven.” In your next confession, state that you did so.

Sorry for all of the questions; thank you for any answers or general advice you can give me!

I hope this helps.

 

[wild_thing]

Besides Nicole’s good advice and reading other posts on the topic, I would say that perhaps getting a good book on Reconciliation would help answer all your questions- something like Scott Hahn’s Lord, have mercy. Then you can delve deeper into the topic.

 

[lefty22]

nicolep:

If one truly forgets, yes, it’s forgiven. However, the Catechism of the Catholic Church requires us to mention it the next time during confession. It’s necessary to state our sins out loud in confession whether they were forgiven already or not. It’s no different than venial sins. They are forgiven in a number of different ways. We’re encouraged, however, to mention those sins in confession. The grace received in the sacrament will help us to avoid them in the future.

Ok, so it’s not a matter of the sin being forgiven, but a matter of receiving the grace offered by Reconciliation to avoid the sin in the future?

nicolep:

We do not HAVE to confess venial sins.

They’re forgiven through the Eucharist, right? So if you do confess venial sins committed before you received the Eucharist last, are you really confessing something that has already been forgiven? Somehow I don’t think I have the same trust in forgiveness in the Eucharist as in forgiveness through Confession.

nicolep:

You confess that by saying, “I received Communion in a state of mortal sin one time.” Or however many time you did so. It’s not enough for the priest to know that one committed a sin. The penitent must speak it and have contrition. Since you forgot, I would say, “Yes, it was forgiven.” In your next confession, state that you did so.

Got it. What if there’s something I didn’t realize was a sin at the time of my confession closest to it? If it is generally considered a mortal sin, is it still not a mortal sin because I didn’t realize it was a sin at all (didn’t have full knowledge)? Do you still need to confess these things?

nicolep:

I hope this helps.

It does, very much. Thank you.

 

[lefty22]

Besides Nicole’s good advice and reading other posts on the topic, I would say that perhaps getting a good book on Reconciliation would help answer all your questions- something like Scott Hahn’s Lord, have mercy. Then you can delve deeper into the topic.

Thank you, I’ll try to get my hands on a copy of that.