Questions About Diaconate Formation

[IanS]

Recently I have been feeling a pull like “hide the dog” to look deeper into the Diaconate. I am currently 34 and have been married for 10 years and have two children ages 7 and 4. I work a full-time day job and am a volunteer firefighter, so I keep pretty busy.

I am wanting to ask any Deacons or wives of Deacons about their experiences going through formation. Especially if they have or had small children while going through the process. I am willing to drop being a firefighter, but I can’t very well drop anything else.

I know my wife and I will spend one weekend a month at a monastery for three years and will have classes locally one other weekend day out of the month. The only person who could watch our children would be my mother and I don’t think we would get much support outside of that.

Also, please don’t think of this as an unfair question, but I’ve noticed that in my diocese many of the deacons tend to be quite liberal in their moral theology. Does this tend to be true elsewhere? Is it because of the heavy social justice involvement? Being that I tend to be pretty orthodox in my beliefs, I think this may also be a problem.

Any opinions or advice would be very welcome. Thank you.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

Ian,

I want to preface this by saying that each diocese is different and your mileage may vary.

I went through formation in my 40s, and my kids were both pretty well grown (in fact, my daughter was engaged to be married when I was ordained). The “baby” of our class and his wife had a baby during formation, and he seemed to deal with that pretty well.

Yes, there are significant demands on your time during formation, and even after formation as a deacon. Part of the process of formation is learning how to deal with those demands, and how to put things in perspective.

As for “liberal” deacons – that may have been a function of the diocese where they were selected, although the role of the deacon in terms of social justice issues does tend to draw from a more liberal group. As a conservative, I never found it a problem for me, nor was it an issue in my selection for the diaconate.

Deacon Ed

 

[decn2b]

I am in the infancy of Diaconate formation. This infancy involves completing the 2 year MFP before 3 year diaconate. My mentor/deacon has told me that my orthodox views may cause trouble for me. I am finding the MFP program very trying. MCBrein and Kung seem to be deities to the program coordinators. I have been assigned to a small group for the MFP (ministry formation program) which consists of me (38 year old father of 4 small kids) and 5 angry middle aged feminists (women). Yay for me. None of which know my intentions of moving on to diaconate formation (god willing). Even have had some Marianne Duddy (CTA/DIgnity USA feminist) stuff shoveled to us. Liberal deacons here too (with the exception of my mentor). What I do know is that all of my MFP reflection papers, discipleship profiles and personal spiritual autobiography is kept at the diocesan office AND WILL BE USED TO EVALUATE my “worthiness” as a deaconate candidate. With this in mind I have been truthful who I am but for the most part I keep to myself. If I was meant to be a deacon then I am doing my part by answering the call. If Deaconate isn’t for me then I guess I will have had some training in dealing with angry people

But I have felt the pull for deaconate for awhile.

 

[IanS]

Thanks for your responses. It’s been helpful.

 

[plato3]

In my class, there were few that had small kids. However, I think the ones that had kids from 11-17 had the hardest time with going to the classes. The invention of the cell phone was a help, but there was added stress on these couples. None dropped out after much support and prayer by all in the class.

Good luck,
Deacon Tony

 

[Detroit_Sue]

IanS:

Recently I have been feeling a pull like “hide the dog” to look deeper into the Diaconate. I am currently 34 and have been married for 10 years and have two children ages 7 and 4. I work a full-time day job and am a volunteer firefighter, so I keep pretty busy.

My husband is a chiropractor with his own practice, plus he is pursuing an advanced degree at the seminary. Somehow, God provides the time you need.

I am wanting to ask any Deacons or wives of Deacons about their experiences going through formation. Especially if they have or had small children while going through the process. I am willing to drop being a firefighter, but I can’t very well drop anything else.

My husband had to drop out of the service organization he was with, but that was really the only thing. He still led a men’s prayer group, went to school, & ran the business. There were two couples in his ordination class who had kids around the same age, and they brought the kids to some formation days with books, quiet games & other stuff. They went to a separate room and were as good as gold.

I know my wife and I will spend one weekend a month at a monastery for three years and will have classes locally one other weekend day out of the month. The only person who could watch our children would be my mother and I don’t think we would get much support outside of that.

See above

Also, please don’t think of this as an unfair question, but I’ve noticed that in my diocese many of the deacons tend to be quite liberal in their moral theology. Does this tend to be true elsewhere? Is it because of the heavy social justice involvement? Being that I tend to be pretty orthodox in my beliefs, I think this may also be a problem.

Not an unfair question at all. Actually, it’s a very astute observation. The best advice my husband was given was, “Keep your mouth shut and get ordained.” He is currently assigned with a “progressive” pastor, but there is a small, orthodox community in the parish who seek him out to get what they need - devotions, Benediction, Holy Hours, etc. Our orthodoxy was known, but we didn’t force it down anyone’s throats. The first Mass I attended with the formation group was kind of funny - I covered my head. There were a lot of double takes, and some of the real leftys shunned me, but there were a few of “us” who bonded very closely.

Any opinions or advice would be very welcome. Thank you.

You owe it to yourself and the Church to at least investigate it. If you are truly called, God clears a path for you. Let us know how it goes!!