Questions about judging others

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chero23

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I’ve heard people say, I can’t judge so and so for doing what they did. But sometimes in my mind, I think, WHAT? Why not? I understand if you did that in the past you want to reserve your judgement, but if somebody cheats on their spouse, or has hit their partner, or has done something that they shouldn’t have, shouldn’t you as a friend or family member, say, look what you did was wrong?

I don’t know if I’m explaining myself right just want some help.
 
From a Catholic standpoint, we can’t judge the disposition of anyone’s soul. But we can certainly judge actions as right or wrong and we can (to an extent) judge motivations (kindness, rudeness).
 
I think that the crucial distinction is between judging a person’s actions and judging the person themselves. For instance, say Anna is a prostitute. It is perfectly acceptable to say to yourself (or potentially even to her) “prostitution is wrong.” But it is not acceptable to decide that she is somehow less loved by God, or less worthy of His love, because of her occupation. You don’t know her circumstances.
 
That seems to be the :cool: and popular go-to card for people especially when it comes to sexual issues. :rolleyes:
 
SuperLuigi said:
That seems to be the :cool: and popular go-to card for people especially when it comes to sexual issues. :rolleyes:
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I don’t think it just regars to sexuality. I’ll give you a personal case. My brother was saving up money to go to Mexico to see his girlfriend. He started saving up in August (this was back in 2012) November came around and I asked him, hey, how much do you have saved. (I knew how much he should of had saved, whcih was $1,000) He said none i barely started last weeek. I told him, boy, we sat down with you and we would work on your money watch and you should have a $1,000 saved up.

That’s what I mean about judging others.
 
chero23 said:
I’ve heard people say, I can’t judge so and so for doing what they did. But sometimes in my mind, I think, WHAT? Why not? I understand if you did that in the past you want to reserve your judgement, but if somebody cheats on their spouse, or has hit their partner, or has done something that they shouldn’t have, shouldn’t you as a friend or family member, say, look what you did was wrong?

I don’t know if I’m explaining myself right just want some help.
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Our Lord would have us correct someone with love, out of concern for their soul. He would not want us to condemn them.
 
If you are in a management position at work, one of your responsibilities may be to judge the employees’ work conduct.
 
We can judge others. We just can’t judge to condemn them. The homosexual movement has used this word almost to extinction in order to justify their desired goals. We can judge others and know whether they are doing right or wrong as Paul instructed them in the early Church. To do it properly though it has to be done with great patience and kindness remembering all Christian instructions and tradition.
 
WilT said:
We can judge others. We just can’t judge to condemn them. The homosexual movement has used this word almost to extinction in order to justify their desired goals. We can judge others and know whether they are doing right or wrong as Paul instructed them in the early Church. To do it properly though it has to be done with great patience and kindness remembering all Christian instructions and tradition.
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Amen!
 
chero23 said:
I don’t think it just regars to sexuality. I’ll give you a personal case. My brother was saving up money to go to Mexico to see his girlfriend. He started saving up in August (this was back in 2012) November came around and I asked him, hey, how much do you have saved. (I knew how much he should of had saved, whcih was $1,000) He said none i barely started last weeek. I told him, boy, we sat down with you and we would work on your money watch and you should have a $1,000 saved up.

That’s what I mean about judging others.
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If your brother PROMISED you he would save the money because of some benefit it had to you (which I wouldn’t know what that could be), you could tell him how he hurt you. If it is simply a case where you tried to help him and he rejected your help, don’t spend too much time helping him again. You don’t have to fall for someone who can’t commit to doing what he said he was going to do.

However, in the grand scheme of things, I think this one could easily be let go. Sure your brother is coming across as irresponsible and there is no reason to take him seriously again about money issue. But then again, this is rather small potatoes
 
Anglewannabe said:
If your brother PROMISED you he would save the money because of some benefit it had to you (which I wouldn’t know what that could be), you could tell him how he hurt you. If it is simply a case where you tried to help him and he rejected your help, don’t spend too much time helping him again. You don’t have to fall for someone who can’t commit to doing what he said he was going to do.

However, in the grand scheme of things, I think this one could easily be let go. Sure your brother is coming across as irresponsible and there is no reason to take him seriously again about money issue. But then again, this is rather small potatoes
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I think that we can tell someone, hey what you are doing is wrong, but like another person stated, we cannot say, what you did is going to send you to hell.
 
chero23 said:
I don’t think it just regars to sexuality. I’ll give you a personal case. My brother was saving up money to go to Mexico to see his girlfriend. He started saving up in August (this was back in 2012) November came around and I asked him, hey, how much do you have saved. (I knew how much he should of had saved, whcih was $1,000) He said none i barely started last weeek. I told him, boy, we sat down with you and we would work on your money watch and you should have a $1,000 saved up.

That’s what I mean about judging others.
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I think charity can support not judging a person on another level. Your example is an excellent launch pad.

It’s tempting for some people to compare themselves favorably to someone who falls short, especially if they are always falling short of expectations. These expectations might be unrealistic or maybe of no consequence or none of our business. It also isn’t the sum of the person. I think that is another sort of “judgment” we need to avoid.

So, your brother didn’t save money. The only person he hurt was himself and possibly his girlfriend. To me that’s an “oh, well” kind of thing. He may be ambivalent about going or maybe spent unwisely on non-essentials or maybe he really couldn’t have saved it and doesn’t want you to know.
 
Bruised_Reed said:
I think charity can support not judging a person on another level. Your example is an excellent launch pad.

It’s tempting for some people to compare themselves favorably to someone who falls short, especially if they are always falling short of expectations. These expectations might be unrealistic or maybe of no consequence or none of our business. It also isn’t the sum of the person. I think that is another sort of “judgment” we need to avoid.

So, your brother didn’t save money. The only person he hurt was himself and possibly his girlfriend. To me that’s an “oh, well” kind of thing. He may be ambivalent about going or maybe spent unwisely on non-essentials or maybe he really couldn’t have saved it and doesn’t want you to know.
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It could of been an oh well situation but, he would have my mom prepare him his lunch yet everyday say oh they made us something to eat. Like I said my mom is in his account so i told her get a copy and check it out. Well everyday while he took my mom’s lunch, what he would do was go out to eat breakfast and lunch plus he spend close to $400 in that span in music from apple.
 
I think as said we can judge the action but not the person which is pretty fair.

You can say what I done was wrong but you can’t be like you are this and that etc. as we do not really know what people have experienced and what led them to do certain things. Only God knows and that’s what he is the Judge :).
 
Chief87 said:
I think as said we can judge the action but not the person which is pretty fair.

You can say what I done was wrong but you can’t be like you are this and that etc. as we do not really know what people have experienced and what led them to do certain things. Only God knows and that’s what he is the Judge :).
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Correct. I think is for example, I can tell you, you know what you did back there was not right. You know a good little pep talk. I think where a lot of us get out of hand is when we say, God is not going to forgive you, your going to hell. That’s where I think we get in trouble.
 
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