Questions about making friends & social interaction

[fakename]

So in general I tend to live a rather cloistered life, but I foresee having to make friends sometimes soon for at least practical reasons. But there are problems -frankly I don’t really know how people with friends can have friendships, I mean we want to keep occasions of sin at a minimum, ceteris paribus meeting new people who you don’t even know increases the chances of sinning, so everything being equal should we rather not make friends (at least in the conventional sense, since it is friendly to keep others and yourself away from sins and the temporal punishments which accompany it)?

Makes sense, until you realize that some many people are social and that man is supposed to be a social creature; friendships just look odd or rather am I the odd one? But yet, it says in the Imitation of Christ, something like “avoid all familiarity”?

In any case how, and under what conditions should one have friends cause I think I’m gonna need a few to pay the bills -that is, to serve as references. Also I’m probably going to need a new job soon, yet I’m not very comfortable at all having to fraternize with people (customers etc.) for the same reason as above posted. Any advice?

 

[Allegra]

Wow. I’m not sure your are operating under the same definition of friendship I’m used to. It sounds like you are thinking more about networking, which is not genuine friendship. Basically, I think true friends are a gift from God and such friends would not lead you to sin. Also, consider that God may want to use you to lead your friends closer to Him.

 

[Tyler1234]

True friends will help protect each other from sin, and support each other in financial, moral, family, etc. Issues. Like the person before me said, true friendships are, indeed, a blessing from God. If one were to go out on a regular basis trying to meet ‘shallow’ friends, just to increase their popularity, then no, nothing good will come of that.
In true friendships, there is a mutual feeling of respect, loyalty, protectiveness, and brotherhood/sisterhood.

God bless!

 

[rebeccanew]

When lunchtime arrives at our office, people are on the phone talking, texting, just keeping in touch. It is way of life for the younger crowd who are growing up with this newer technology. I am concerned with the groupieness of some of the social skills, but I guess it has always been around in less frequency. I would like to take some of the courses offered at adult education to learn about this type of communication and would suggest that you do something like this. Who knows, you might meet some new friends

 

[joshrp]

So in general I tend to live a rather cloistered life, but I foresee having to make friends sometimes soon for at least practical reasons. But there are problems -frankly I don’t really know how people with friends can have friendships, I mean we want to keep occasions of sin at a minimum, ceteris paribus meeting new people who you don’t even know increases the chances of sinning, so everything being equal should we rather not make friends (at least in the conventional sense, since it is friendly to keep others and yourself away from sins and the temporal punishments which accompany it)?

Makes sense, until you realize that some many people are social and that man is supposed to be a social creature; friendships just look odd or rather am I the odd one? But yet, it says in the Imitation of Christ, something like “avoid all familiarity”?

In any case how, and under what conditions should one have friends cause I think I’m gonna need a few to pay the bills -that is, to serve as references. Also I’m probably going to need a new job soon, yet I’m not very comfortable at all having to fraternize with people (customers etc.) for the same reason as above posted. Any advice?

If you want to invite me to be your friend on CAF you can. We can talk about things. I have a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome which is generally known as an autistic social disability. So I know all about what you are saying here.

 

[fakename]

True friends will help protect each other from sin, and support each other in financial, moral, family, etc. Issues. Like the person before me said, true friendships are, indeed, a blessing from God. If one were to go out on a regular basis trying to meet ‘shallow’ friends, just to increase their popularity, then no, nothing good will come of that.
In true friendships, there is a mutual feeling of respect, loyalty, protectiveness, and brotherhood/sisterhood.

God bless!

The problem is, as I see it, no one is truly interested in platonic friendships (where the friendship has a higher end outside of the friends themselves) -are there people like this out there, I’ve never seen any inkling of such?

 

[Viola_Incognita]

The problem is, as I see it, no one is truly interested in platonic friendships (where the friendship has a higher end outside of the friends themselves) -are there people like this out there, I’ve never seen any inkling of such?

Such people do exist!

If you want to invite me to be your friend on CAF you can. We can talk about things. I have a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome which is generally known as an autistic social disability. So I know all about what you are saying here.

What joshrp is offering is a good basis for a friendship, which, if I am understanding you correctly, “has a higher end outside of the friends themselves.” He doesn’t want anything from you. He understands and shares your point of view. This is a very good way to start a friendship. Give it a try.

 

[joshrp]

Such people do exist!

What joshrp is offering is a good basis for a friendship, which, if I am understanding you correctly, “has a higher end outside of the friends themselves.” He doesn’t want anything from you. He understands and shares your point of view. This is a very good way to start a friendship. Give it a try.

I’m not concerned about what you can give me. I am more concerned about what I can give you.

 

[Allegra]

The problem is, as I see it, no one is truly interested in platonic friendships (where the friendship has a higher end outside of the friends themselves) -are there people like this out there, I’ve never seen any inkling of such?

Friendships like those don’t just happen. They start off as aquaintances and then develop into what you are talking about. Not every person you strike a conversation with is going to become your dearest friend instantly. But if you are friendly and compassionate toward people, you’re sure to make at least one or two of such friends.

 

[fred_conty]

Go to activities at your parish. That is where you should meet people you would want
to know. Mix in and volunteer you time for projects with others. Ask them about some
things they may be interested in, or their ideas.

 

[fhansen]

So in general I tend to live a rather cloistered life, but I foresee having to make friends sometimes soon for at least practical reasons. But there are problems -frankly I don’t really know how people with friends can have friendships, I mean we want to keep occasions of sin at a minimum, ceteris paribus meeting new people who you don’t even know increases the chances of sinning, so everything being equal should we rather not make friends (at least in the conventional sense, since it is friendly to keep others and yourself away from sins and the temporal punishments which accompany it)?

Makes sense, until you realize that some many people are social and that man is supposed to be a social creature; friendships just look odd or rather am I the odd one? But yet, it says in the Imitation of Christ, something like “avoid all familiarity”?

In any case how, and under what conditions should one have friends cause I think I’m gonna need a few to pay the bills -that is, to serve as references. Also I’m probably going to need a new job soon, yet I’m not very comfortable at all having to fraternize with people (customers etc.) for the same reason as above posted. Any advice?

Jesus was out there, mixing it up with all sorts of people. It can be difficult for some of us but we need to be operating more and more out of love-and less out of fear. And how do we really express love unless we’re involved with others?

 

[puzzleannie]

if you define friendship is mutual activities that are sinful, I can see the problem.
Perhaps some study on the meaning and art of friendship would be helpful.