Questions about Marriage Encounter

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My husband and I have signed up for a Marriage Encounter weekend. After reading some of the negative posts here, I’m starting to have cold feet. Could some of you share your experiences ? Would you recommend it?
 
My husband and I had a wonderful experience at our Weekend. I think it partly depends upon what you both put into it. Be honest and open with each other; be willing to listen and learn.

You will be asked to answer some tough questions, and you will need to be honest–but you won’t have to share your answers with anyone but your spouse unless you choose to. It may even help you break down barriers that you didn’t even know were there. You will feel, at times, very vulnerable. You might even cry (I did). It was emotionally a roller coaster, but at the same time, we left the Weekend feeling energized and closer as a couple.

Will you find some of it a little cheesy? Yeah, probably–but do it anyway. Is it for everyone? Well, maybe, maybe not. Did we continue to use what we learned once we were back in “real life?” Honestly, not much–we use a few of the concepts in a different way than we were taught.

But overall, my husband and I agree that we would do it again. And probably will, when our kids are a little older. 😉
 
My parents were involved in Marriage Encounter. I don’t anything but good to say about it. Great priests, marriage enrichment and lifelong friendships. My folks would tell you that it saved their marriage. My advice would be to go for it.
 
Like any retreat, you get as much out of it as you (and your spouse) put in. I enjoyed our experience overall. It’s certainly not the be all and end all of marriage enrichment, but the techniques and concepts you learn are good tools to have in your proverbial marriage tool box.
 
I wanted to respond post marriage encounter for anyone else with questions.

We went last weekend and had a great weekend. We went home feeling closer than we ever had and definitely got a lot out of the weekend. We were not offended at all by the “cheesy” thing that some referred to, and I think we rather enjoyed them. We are both a bit reserved with things like that so would never do some of that stuff on our own, but would have wanted to, if you know what I mean.

We would like to keep up the skills, because, like I said, we are both somewhat reserved in some ways, and need to help with our communication skills at times.

Overall, we both thought it was a terrific experience, and are planning to recommend it to other couples.
 
I think a marriage encounter weekend can be a great experience. Put lots into it and you will get lots out. It’s really more about how you and your fiance discuss various topics than how those topics are discusses by others (other couples or leaders) that matters.

At the end of the weekend, you want to know that the two of you have addressed every key likely or possible issue you could face. It’s all about the two of,you. The rest of it…the other couples…the topics…the leaders…etc… are merely catalysts.
 
My husband and I did a Marriage Encounter weekend in 1999 (we were married in 1969). I believe we both put a lot into it. We also did some of the follow-up at home. HOWEVER, I was very distressed about it, and came to realize that I felt like my soul was raw. I would never, never go through that again. Perhaps it is just me. But I found it difficult even to listen to the witnessing, since I sincerely believe that some things should not be shared with anyone. Again, that may just be me. And we were encouraged to share - which made it even worse, as I felt that declining to share would make us look bad.

Never again.
 
It’s been probably 25 years since DH and I did our Marriage Encounter weekend…but it was awesome. I don’t remember having to “share” with anyone except my husband…the format was that there was a team of couples and a priest leading it. Each couple took turns talking about their own experiences, the priest would make comments, and then we went back to our room and journaled…then we shared our journals only with each other, not with the group.

It was great for improving communication skills. We didn’t continue to “write” to each other that way or go to follow up sessions, but we learned a lot and both agreed it was well worth the time.

Some people who are having significant issues in their marriage may benefit more from Retrouvaille…Marriage Encounter makes a good marriage better.

I hope you and your spouse have a blessed and wonderful experience. What others have said is very true…the more effort you put in (in communicating with your spouse!) the better experience you will have!
 
The format you’ve described is the same as ours was. We were asked to share if we wanted but there was no pressure. Some people shared but most didn’t and this was only at the end and in a general way.

We are interested in joining a local group but haven’t yet attended a meeting. We both have very painful pasts and our relationship and marriage is our top priority. We are nearing retirement and will be spending more time together, so we want to make that time together as meaningful as possible. For us, at least for now, we are doing the writing, until communication on a deep level becomes a way of life.
 
The format you’ve described is the same as ours was. We were asked to share if we wanted but there was no pressure. Some people shared but most didn’t and this was only at the end and in a general way.

We are interested in joining a local group but haven’t yet attended a meeting. We both have very painful pasts and our relationship and marriage is our top priority. We are nearing retirement and will be spending more time together, so we want to make that time together as meaningful as possible. For us, at least for now, we are doing the writing, until communication on a deep level becomes a way of life.
I am so glad to hear your weekend was good for your relationship.

My wife and I have been involved in Encounter for over 25 years. It is far and away the best Catholic based marriage enrichment program out there today, IMHO.

One of the things that separates Encounter from a normal retreat or seminar is the opportunity to become involved in local communities (they go by various names) which not only handle the nuts and bolts of presenting weekends (there are only two paid employees in WWME at the California office) but more importantly provide support for your relationship. I know that if my wife and I had not become involved with our local community I would have eventually gone back to being the person I did not want to be on Friday night instead of the person I wanted to be on Sunday afternoon. With this as “full disclosure” I would encourage you to try a few months of community meetings for your relationship.

P.S. - If anyone reading through is not familiar with Encounter, you can go to www.wwme.org for info.

P.P.S. to the OP: PM me if you ever need a question;)
 
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