Questions about Marriage!

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Hi everyone in the Catholic Community,

So my problem is that my best friend is getting married in 2015 so its a long while away and basically i’m a guy, we’ve known each other since we we’ve both kids and we have been talking about the idea of me becoming her maid of honour but because im a man its more like “honor attendant” and I’ve been researching it and it seems like its not that uncommon in todays society, so my best friends is just concered that the Catholic church is really picky so I just wanted an answer to see of this was a big deal or if it was something that could be worked out?

thank you for all your help!🙂
 
There is no theological reason I can think of that a bride can’t choose a male attendant. Attendents are not really crucial to the wedding. All that is needed is a bride, a groom, a priest, and one other witness. The rest are superflorus and you can do what you want. I would object if she asks you to wear a strapless dress.
 
I don’t know if the Catholic church has a position on this, but my hunch is that it isn’t a problem. I never really understood why so many people assume that only females can stand up for a woman getting married and only males can stand up for a man. Not the case at all, at least not in my mind. I’m getting married very shortly and I’m having three bridal attendants, and only one is a woman. I’m not having a MoH and my FH isn’t having a BM, because we couldn’t look at our three closest friends and choose just one. But the woman is the one standing next to me during the ceremony because it will look better for her to hold my bouquet than it would for a man to do it.
 
Allegra said:
There is no theological reason I can think of that a bride can’t choose a male attendant. Attendents are not really crucial to the wedding. All that is needed is a bride, a groom, a priest, and one other witness. The rest are superflorus and you can do what you want. I would object if she asks you to wear a strapless dress.
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But only because strapless dresses are usually seen as too revealing for a ceremony in the church.😃
 
Best_Friends said:
my best friends is just concered that the Catholic church is really picky so I just wanted an answer to see of this was a big deal or if it was something that could be worked out?
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To be married in the Church one needs a priest or deacon and two witnesses. They can be male, female, or one of each.

The person your friend needs to ask is her pastor, because ultimately all things liturgical and sacramental are up to him where something is not specified in the laws or rubrics.
 
My family is Catholic and a female cousin of mine will be a best man at a Catholic wedding. I don’t think it matters. It doesn’t interfere with the religious things!
 
Best_Friends said:
Hi everyone in the Catholic Community,

So my problem is that my best friend is getting married in 2015 so its a long while away and basically i’m a guy, we’ve known each other since we we’ve both kids and we have been talking about the idea of me becoming her maid of honour but because im a man its more like “honor attendant” and I’ve been researching it and it seems like its not that uncommon in todays society, so my best friends is just concered that the Catholic church is really picky so I just wanted an answer to see of this was a big deal or if it was something that could be worked out?

thank you for all your help!🙂
Click to expand...
Unless you plan to have him in a dress I don’t think anyone will have a problem with it.

Where witnesses for a wedding a concerned, the Church requires that there be two, that they be human and old enough to properly be considered witnesses. She also requires the decorum that goes with a Liturgical Celebration.

Many of the weddings when I was growing up had two men as the witnesses and no other attendants. Usually they were the fathers of the bride and groom but not always.
 
No, there is nothing wrong with this religiously, theologically, whatever.

You may encounter some stupid, ignorant people that give you a problem about it but there’s nothing wrong with it at all.
 
I’ve known several devout Catholic friends who have chosen a “Man of Honor.” I’ve also known some “Best Women/” The church gave none of these couples any grief over it 🙂
 
As other have dealt with, there is no theological reason you can’t be an honour attendant.

But I just thought I’d offer some completely unsolicited advice on a tangential matter. Your chosen user name is “best friends” and you refer to the bride twice in your OP as your best friend. As hard as it may be, however, I think you need to start getting out of this mindset. She will be married and her husband will trump you, or anyone else in her life, as her “best friend”. This is the way it’s meant to be, and sometimes the adjustment is hard for people. I had to make this adjustment when my “best friend” married and referred to his wife as his “best friend”. I was taken aback initially, but came to realise that this is the right order of things. Now, I view my own wife as my best friend, and this mindset helps us nagivate difficulties in our married life.

You may realise this already, so I appologise if what I say is redundant. But if it’s not something you’ve considered, it may be a matter to reflect on leading up to this marriage.
 
Allegra said:
There is no theological reason I can think of that a bride can’t choose a male attendant. Attendents are not really crucial to the wedding. All that is needed is a bride, a groom, a priest, and one other witness. The rest are superfluous and you can do what you want. I would object if she asks you to wear a strapless dress.
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BlueEyedLady said:
But only because strapless dresses are usually seen as too revealing for a ceremony in the church.😃
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Allegra said:
You’re right. Totally inappropriate.
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:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
 
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