Questions about my divorce and remarriage?

[hope_eternal]

I will talk fast as every time I write my long explanation the thing will not let me post it. I was married before 16, my ex-husband was just 18. I lied about my age. We had 2 children. Our son- John is 44. Our baby girl lived just 4 days. We divorced after 3 years. I married an Air Force guy- Italian. Went to instructions, became Roman. We went thru a great deal to be married in a Sacramental Union in the Church. Our young Priest worked harder yet, for paper work, Etc. His Priesthood is the same age as our marriage. 41 years. I left the church in 1996 because of needing answers to sucide of family, Priest leaving church and marrying. But now I want to come back. I have always felt shame about my early stupidity . However I have family who have several marriages to their count, now very good prostestant Christian. I heard a Priest speak very judgementally the other day. It upset me so badly!! Now I just don’t know . What does God say?

 

[clmowry]

Were you and your ex-husband both baptised christians at the time of your marriage? Did you go through an annulment prior to your second marriage?

Chuck

 

[hope_eternal]

My ex-husband was not baptised, he and his sibs & parents filled out affadavits for us & our Priest. And he knew that our son-John was baptised Catholic. I grew up Baptist. I am not sure if it was called annulment? I suspect that was what it was! Because it took almost a year to get all the papers in place and get an some sort of answer, before I could come into the church & be married there. My ex-husband told me that he was happy our son would be raised with a faith and not like him.

 

[clmowry]

hope eternal:

My ex-husband was not baptised, he and his sibs & parents filled out affadavits for us & our Priest. And he knew that our son-John was baptised Catholic. I grew up Baptist. I am not sure if it was called annulment? I suspect that was what it was! Because it took almost a year to get all the papers in place and get an some sort of answer, before I could come into the church & be married there. My ex-husband told me that he was happy our son would be raised with a faith and not like him.

Then your first marriage was not sacramentally valid and there was no problem with your “second” marriage.

Christ’s prohibition against divorce and re-marriage would not apply.

Chuck

 

[PaulDupre]

Hi Hope,
If you are currently married in the Catholic Church, then it is obvious that you were granted an annulment on your first marriage (which was non-Catholic if I understand correctly), and it is easy to see why:

There are 3 questions the Church poses when someone is married as a Catholic, and the first of these 3 questions helps to understand why your first “marriage” was not a valid marriage at all:

1. “Do you come here of your own free will, giving full consent to be married?”
   
   If there is any evidence that you did not (or were unable to) give your free consent to be married, then the marriage was invalid per se. Since you were not even 16 years old when you wed, there is a presumption that you were incapable of giving real consent, therefore making the marriage invalid (not to mention illegal).
   
   This is the same presumption that governs laws on statutory rape - that is, no 15 year-old has the maturity to freely consent to sexual intercourse. Likewise, it is presumed that no 15 year-old can validly consent to marriage.
   
   Now, understand that the fact that your first marriage was invalid does not in any way make your children from that marriage illegitimate. Here is another presumption used both by the Church and by the law - if you had those children within the bonds of marriage (even an invalid marriage) then those children are as legitimate as any others.
   
   The upshot of this whole thing is this: You made a mistake when you were very young. So what? Who among us has not made some serious mistakes in our youth? I know I sure did. No one has the right to judge you for what you did so long ago, especially since at the time you thought you were doing something good. I hope no one judges me for what I did when I was 15!! Yikes!!
   
   The important thing is that later, when you were matured, you did the right thing in the eyes of the Church, and the Church has recognized you for it by granting the annulment and performing a sacramental marriage for you and current hubby.
   
   You have nothing to feel shame or guilt about. On the contrary, you should feel proud that you overcame such a rocky start and achieved a sacramental marriage. Congratulations and don’t worry about anything.
   Grace to you,
   Paul

 

[Linna]

I have been married three times. My first and second husbands died. I married my first husband in the Church. He is now deceased along with my second husband who recently died. I am currently married to a man who is not a Catholic and does not want to be a Catholic. He is divocred from a woman who is not a Catholic. They were not married in any Chruch. I am 60 years old and there is no expectation of any children. What do I need to do to regain my Catholic status?

 

[Cristiano]

I have been married three times. My first and second husbands died. I married my first husband in the Church. He is now deceased along with my second husband who recently died. I am currently married to a man who is not a Catholic and does not want to be a Catholic. He is divocred from a woman who is not a Catholic. They were not married in any Chruch. I am 60 years old and there is no expectation of any children. What do I need to do to regain my Catholic status?

If you have been baptized in the Catholic Church, you never lost your “Catholic status”. Once a Catholic always a Catholic. You might be in an irregular position respect to the Church teachings and laws (your marital status included). My suggestion is to talk to a priest and work with him to assess what you have to do to be able to fully participate to the sacraments.