Questions about non-catholic marriage

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Hope23

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Hello:

I married at age 30 to a non-catholic who wasn’t comfortable with a catholic ceremony. this was my first real boyfriend. Even though I had been to catholic schools I didn’t understand the full repercussions of what I was doing by agreeing to a non-catholic marriage.

I know that agreeing to this is wrong and that divorce is wrong, so what do I do now? I have been to confession about this and realize that my faith at the time of marriage was not as strong as it is now.

I have two children 4 and 2.

The marriage is not perfect and I wonder what the process of getting the marriage blessed would involve?

Would a priest interview us? What is he decides we never should have been married in the first place?

There are some communication problems; I’m a hard worker and he tends to like to sleep in.

He drinks more than I like but I do love him. (I don’t drink at all)

Is this completely off the wall to be asking this here. I’ve discussed this with a priest who said they would like to speak with us. Since he’s refused my only option was confession.

I asked if I could have the eucharist and the priest said he wasn’t sure or he said it wasn’t up to him to decide. I haven’t had the eucharist since then.

I’m not sure how i’ll see responses.

Hope23.
 
There is always a way to come back to Jesus in the Eucharist!

Call the Church office today and schedule a meeting with the Priest. That will get you started.

Pray, go to Mass, read Scripture - God will give you the grace to get back to Him.
 
Hope23 said:
Hello:

I married at age 30 to a non-catholic who wasn’t comfortable with a catholic ceremony. this was my first real boyfriend. Even though I had been to catholic schools I didn’t understand the full repercussions of what I was doing by agreeing to a non-catholic marriage.

I know that agreeing to this is wrong and that divorce is wrong, so what do I do now? I have been to confession about this and realize that my faith at the time of marriage was not as strong as it is now.

I have two children 4 and 2.

The marriage is not perfect and I wonder what the process of getting the marriage blessed would involve?

Would a priest interview us? What is he decides we never should have been married in the first place?

There are some communication problems; I’m a hard worker and he tends to like to sleep in.

He drinks more than I like but I do love him. (I don’t drink at all)

Is this completely off the wall to be asking this here. I’ve discussed this with a priest who said they would like to speak with us. Since he’s refused my only option was confession.

I asked if I could have the eucharist and the priest said he wasn’t sure or he said it wasn’t up to him to decide. I haven’t had the eucharist since then.

I’m not sure how i’ll see responses.

Hope23.
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You need to sit down with your pastor and explain the situation. Ask him to request permission from your Bishop to marry in a non-Catholic ceremony. This can be done without your husband being involved if necessary. (as long as neither has been married before)
 
I don’t see why you can’t take communion…I think you should. You need Jesus and He wants you:) It sounds like you and your husband need counseling. If he won’t go to a priest, go to a counselor. Good luck.
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
You need to sit down with your pastor and explain the situation. Ask him to request permission from your Bishop to marry in a non-Catholic ceremony. This can be done without your husband being involved if necessary. (as long as neither has been married before)
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I agree with Bro. Rich, speak to your pastor and explain this to him in detail.

This sounds like the scenario for which radical sanation was developed. A radical sanation means that your marriage would be “Healed at the root” and be valid from the day you were married outside the Church. You wouldn’t have to speak your vows again. This, of course, presumes there are no impediments to your marriage in the Church (previous marriage for either of you, etc).
 
dashso40 said:
I don’t see why you can’t take communion…I think you should. You need Jesus and He wants you:) It sounds like you and your husband need counseling. If he won’t go to a priest, go to a counselor. Good luck.
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She can’t receive communion because she is living in an invalid marriage.
 
dashso40 said:
I don’t see why you can’t take communion…I think you should. You need Jesus and He wants you:) It sounds like you and your husband need counseling. If he won’t go to a priest, go to a counselor. Good luck.
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As Catholics, we do not “take”, we receive Holy Communion. As others have indicated, the OP cannot receive the sacraments because her marriage is invalid. She needs to seek guidance from her pastor, which she is also doing. Her husband does need to seek counseling.
 
dashso40 said:
I just asked a priest friend of mine and he said she can receive communion.
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Only if she is living as brother and sister with her present “husband” and has repented of her marital situation in the sacrament of confession as well as otherwise being in a state of grace.
 
dashso40 said:
I just asked a priest friend of mine and he said she can receive communion.
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I’d be curious to know just exactly what you asked him. There are certainly circumstances where getting married in a non-Catholic Church wouldn’t stop you from receiving Communion but based on the facts in the OP this is not one of them.
 
Hope23 said:
Hello:

I married at age 30 to a non-catholic who wasn’t comfortable with a catholic ceremony. this was my first real boyfriend. Even though I had been to catholic schools I didn’t understand the full repercussions of what I was doing by agreeing to a non-catholic marriage.

I know that agreeing to this is wrong and that divorce is wrong, so what do I do now? I have been to confession about this and realize that my faith at the time of marriage was not as strong as it is now.

I have two children 4 and 2.

The marriage is not perfect and I wonder what the process of getting the marriage blessed would involve?

Would a priest interview us? What is he decides we never should have been married in the first place?

There are some communication problems; I’m a hard worker and he tends to like to sleep in.

He drinks more than I like but I do love him. (I don’t drink at all)

Is this completely off the wall to be asking this here. I’ve discussed this with a priest who said they would like to speak with us. Since he’s refused my only option was confession.

I asked if I could have the eucharist and the priest said he wasn’t sure or he said it wasn’t up to him to decide. I haven’t had the eucharist since then.

I’m not sure how i’ll see responses.

Hope23.
Click to expand...
Hope,

I was in your situation 5 years ago. I too had not been catechized properly by the Catholic school teachers. My husband and I were married at 18 years old. He was and is not Catholic so we were also married in a non-Catholic church. When I reverted back to my faith I found out that I was not really married in the eyes of God and His Church. I asked my very traditional pastor what to do and he said that I needed to refrain from receiving the Eucharist until we had our marriage convalidated in the Catholic Church. Then I would be able to go to confession and receive Holy Communion. This was a simple ceremony done by our pastor in the office because my husband wasn’t too happy about our marriage of 27 years being called not valid. We recited our wedding vows to each other again. My mother and father were my two witnesses. Since neither of us had been married to anyone else it was a very easy process. I loved saying our vows again although I would have loved to have had a Catholic mass. It was the charitable way considering my husband’s feelings. Please go ask your pastor to help you get your marriage convalidated. Our marriage is not perfect either.
 
dashso40 said:
I just asked a priest friend of mine and he said she can receive communion.
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he can give a general opinion, but not on the specific case of OP because he does not know all aspects of her individual situation, and neither to do we, nor do we need to know. The person who needs to know is her priest who will advise her based on her own needs and her own personal situation, which is why the only helpful advice here will be for her to see her priest and be completely honest with him about all aspects of her case. There is a remedy, although it will require time and effort, to every case, and although it might not be what we want to hear.
 
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