Questions about non-Catholics actions before converting

[schaubj57]

I have a friend who I am starting to get the impression that there is mutual feelings between us in terms of romance. Nothing for sure just some close observations in how she talks to me and I talk to her.

She has been through the ringer so to speak: felony meth conviction, promiscuous sex, and an abortion. However, after saying all that the person she is now and the person she is working hard to become is vastly different then what she use to be.

My question in this: Being that she isn’t Catholic, would those be held against her if she converted to Catholicism? I would date this woman if I knew I/we could get married in the Catholic Church if our relationship progressed to such a point as that.

Any help would be greatly appreciated as I come from a very very small town and everyone at my church knows me but doesn’t know this woman as she is in FL.

 

[Thankfulness]

Be assured that those past actions would not be held against her if she converted!
Repentance and private Confession would be needed, especially for her abortion.
No other person has any right to know of her past troubles and mistaken choices.

There are converted sinners who later became Saints of the Church.
If she is single, and wishes to marry you, and is open to the possibility of children, then there is no reason you couldn’t both be married in the Church!

(However I personally would want to be sure that a person I considered marrying has really overcome the addictions, as marriage can be miserable if there is anything serious unresolved. That’s me, anyway. You seem confident about it. )

 

[schaubj57]

Thank you for the reply. I am just wanting to know before I even commit the effort to try with her. She’s been treated really bad by guys and never really stood up for herself. I have been spending most nights texting with her and talking to her on the phone to try and get her self esteem up and helping her get on the road to being the good happy person she wants to be. She’s told me she is making a concerted effort to become a sober person who is loved for who she is and not her actions. I have seen the person she is and I really like her. My heart skipps a few beats at times when we can both laugh at a joke that is so stupid others just look at us and and wonder what we are doing or talking about. I have foudn someone who accepts me for me: a good level headed guy who has morals and standards and won’t sacrifice them for anyone. It’s why I’m 33, never married and never “been with” a woman. I’ve dated but always cheated on becasue the women I dated always wanted the one thing I couldn’t and wouldn’t give them in a dating relationship.

It’s going to be months or years before anything could possibly happen if it ever does happen with her.

 

[Sarahforgiven]

Perhaps she would be open to joining an RCIA class I’m FL & could get a sense of her feelings about the church.

 

[Thankfulness]

Thank you for the reply. I am just wanting to know before I even commit the effort to try with her. She’s been treated really bad by guys and never really stood up for herself. I have been spending most nights texting with her and talking to her on the phone to try and get her self esteem up and helping her get on the road to being the good happy person she wants to be. She’s told me she is making a concerted effort to become a sober person who is loved for who she is and not her actions. I have seen the person she is and I really like her. My heart skipps a few beats at times when we can both laugh at a joke that is so stupid others just look at us and and wonder what we are doing or talking about. I have foudn someone who accepts me for me: a good level headed guy who has morals and standards and won’t sacrifice them for anyone. It’s why I’m 33, never married and never “been with” a woman. I’ve dated but always cheated on becasue the women I dated always wanted the one thing I couldn’t and wouldn’t give them in a dating relationship.

It’s going to be months or years before anything could possibly happen if it ever does happen with her.

God bless you. Maybe this is the special gift of God you have both been waiting for.
May God guide you both in all things.

 

[schaubj57]

Perhaps she would be open to joining an RCIA class I’m FL & could get a sense of her feelings about the church.

I will talk to her about this. If she is indeed desring the help and to make changes RCIA will definitely be a big step in the right direction.

Thank you for the offer.

 

[puzzleannie]

I My question in this: Being that she isn’t Catholic, would those be held against her if she converted to Catholicism? I would date this woman if I knew I/we could get married in the Catholic Church if our relationship progressed to such a point as that.

.

of course not, that is what conversion means, turning away from one’s former sinful way of life toward life with and in Christ. If she converted she would through baptism (or if already baptized, profession of faith and confession) be entirely absolved from all sins of her past life, and starting life anew.

btw it is not required that the Catholic party required the non-Catholic to convert in order to be married in the Church.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

One Caution: Conversion should always be because the one converting is convinced of the truth of the Catholic Church, not to please someone else. I know of several cases where the person never became fully accepting of the Church because they felt they were forced into it.