Questions about Sex

[lemonbeam]

1. Is it a sin to have thoughts or fantasies about someone you are not married too? How can you stop these?
2. If engaging in homosexual thoughts is a sin, how could you stop this, how could you stop your thinking?
3. How Can you control what your fantasies are, how can it be your fault if you married, and you think about someone else while engaging in the sexual act?
4. Is the reason why masturbation and homosexuality are condemned because neither can procreate?
5. Why did God create humans with sexual urges, if we are meant to suppress them? For example, A 14 year old boy can’t get married, because he is too young, he can’t have a child, so he uses masturbation as a way of releasing sexual tension.

 

[Michael_Vernon]

Lemonbeam, I’m 62 years old, I have eight children and umpteen grandchildren, and I’ve thought a lot about all of the questions you posed, and a lot of others have, too. You’ll get thousands of replies that will drown the simple thing I’m about to say, but I want to say it anyway: I think that all of our questions and concerns about sex have to be couched in the context of our sexual relationship with Jesus. That’s right. We, collectively are the Bride of Christ. And God says He is a Jealous God. Yeah. Jesus doesn’t want us to do anything that detracts from our holy passion for Him. A good, clean, healthy, monogamous, straight, exclusive sexual relationship with a husband or wife helps us understand our relationship with God, but anything more, or less, or different than that detracts from our intimacy with God.

 

[Rascalking]

1. Is it a sin to have thoughts or fantasies about someone you are not married too? How can you stop these?
2. If engaging in homosexual thoughts is a sin, how could you stop this, how could you stop your thinking?
3. How Can you control what your fantasies are, how can it be your fault if you married, and you think about someone else while engaging in the sexual act?
4. Is the reason why masturbation and homosexuality are condemned because neither can procreate?
5. Why did God create humans with sexual urges, if we are meant to suppress them? For example, A 14 year old boy can’t get married, because he is too young, he can’t have a child, so he uses masturbation as a way of releasing sexual tension.

My answers-

1. Depends on how far you take the fantasy. Just by looking at a someone and saying, “Wow, he/she is gorgeous” -that’s normal. By following them, grabbing them, leering at them, etc-that’s wrong and sinful. Are you a male or female? Male sexual nature is much more visual based than women, that’s not to say women aren’t visual based, but men more so. That’s important to remember as well-it’s harder for men because we are more (It’s biologically based) based on the visual. You can never really stop it, but you can control it.
2. I’m not convinced that the thought alone in a sin. It’s the action that many Catholics seem to think is sinful. The church does teach that homosexual behavior is sinful.
3. I think you are correct on this, but I don’t know for sure. All I know is that they are both considered sinful by the church.
4. Your partially right about this. I am sure that God wishes, sometimes, that He programmed us to have weaker sex drives. I can see how some people think that many people of faith want sex for pleasure to be abolished, that sex is only for procreation and even then, should not be enjoyed. They seem to think that there is something innately wrong to make love with a husband/wife. Some people do seem (key word-seem, not putting words in anyones mouth) to think that way. As for a young man engaging in self pleasure, yeah, it’s wrong. You need to learn to control your sex drive, pure and simple. It’s a mandatory thing. If your want to engage in self pleasure or lovemaking whenever the feeling arouses, you’ll be a sick person with diseases and other compulsive problems.

 

[Moscati]

1. It is a sin to dwell on one’s impure thoughts, but it is not sinful to have them pop up, unwilled. You can stop by doing something else: pray, go for a run, go read a book, etc.
2. It makes no difference whether your impure thoughts are homo- or heterosexual in nature.
3. It may not necessarily be “your fault” if you happen to think about someone else while having sex with a spouse. Temptations are everywhere. But, if it were me, I would ask myself how that image came to be in my mind. (i.e. perhaps you saw whoever it was at a pool party, and it’s becoming a problem for you), and try to avoid that in the future. You can control what your fantasies are by following Paul’s advice–whatever things are good, pure, noble, beautiful, think about those.
4. Pretty much. Sex is ordered to two things: the creation of children and the mutual blessing of spouses.
5. This is just my thinking, but I would say that for the same reason he gave us urges to eat food. It’s necessary, for our biological survival. It’s also a great gift, and can be an incredible pleasure. But there are guidelines. We shouldn’t eat all the time. We can’t eat certain things, because they’ll make us sick. Does it make sense that I should be angry with God for giving me the urge to eat food when sometimes I need to suppress it, for my own good? Not really.

 

[Mark77]

1. Is it a sin to have thoughts or fantasies about someone you are not married too? How can you stop these?
2. If engaging in homosexual thoughts is a sin, how could you stop this, how could you stop your thinking?
3. How Can you control what your fantasies are, how can it be your fault if you married, and you think about someone else while engaging in the sexual act?
4. Is the reason why masturbation and homosexuality are condemned because neither can procreate?

**“Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability. (CCC 2352)**

1. Why did God create humans with sexual urges, if we are meant to suppress them? For example, A 14 year old boy can’t get married, because he is too young, he can’t have a child, so he uses masturbation as a way of releasing sexual tension.

 

[Bookcat]

1. Is it a sin to have thoughts or fantasies about someone you are not married too? How can you stop these?
2. If engaging in homosexual thoughts is a sin, how could you stop this, how could you stop your thinking?
3. How Can you control what your fantasies are, how can it be your fault if you married, and you think about someone else while engaging in the sexual act?
4. Is the reason why masturbation and homosexuality are condemned because neither can procreate?
5. Why did God create humans with sexual urges, if we are meant to suppress them? For example, A 14 year old boy can’t get married, because he is too young, he can’t have a child, so he uses masturbation as a way of releasing sexual tension.

1. See my posts on thoughts. Yes if one consents to them. And if done will full knowledge and complete consent …mortal sin. But again read my other posts. Thoughts can happen to us…even vividly and for a long time…and we not give consent!
2. Same answer.

As to how to stop thoughts …largely indirectly by not consenting and turning to something else.

1. Partly. Read the Catechism on these.
2. Original sin introduced disorder into human beings… but with grace and mortification one can avoid sins…

one can down load this scepterpublishers.org/product/index.php?FULL=653

click download free pdf

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and of course we need to remember the grace of the Sacraments…such as Confession

 

[JVD]

1. Is it a sin to have thoughts or fantasies about someone you are not married too? How can you stop these?
2. If engaging in homosexual thoughts is a sin, how could you stop this, how could you stop your thinking?
3. How Can you control what your fantasies are, how can it be your fault if you married, and you think about someone else while engaging in the sexual act?
4. Is the reason why masturbation and homosexuality are condemned because neither can procreate?
5. Why did God create humans with sexual urges, if we are meant to suppress them? For example, A 14 year old boy can’t get married, because he is too young, he can’t have a child, so he uses masturbation as a way of releasing sexual tension.

It’s called self respect and self control/discipline. You just don’t dwell on these things and get in the habit of saying “no” and turning off the thoughts. The more you entertain the thoughts the more deeply you get pulled into them and the more difficult to stop. God’s grace is powerful stuff. Turn every occasion of temptation into an opportunity to defeat Satan while demonstrating your love of God by saying “no” then praying to God or St. Michael or St. Mary for the grace to persevere. If you develop this kind of response Satan finds that he is serving your spiritual advancement and suffering the spiritual rejection as well as the spiritual pain your Guardian Angel will inflict on Him by enforcing your “no” and he cowers in humiliating defeat. In no time - the temptations go away and your spiritual fortitude is bolstered as you realize how much control you have when you discipline yourself to call on God’s grace and your spiritual defenses. It’s one of the first things a Christian needs to master - self control. From here you become a formidable warrior for Christ and can help others by getting off defense and going on offense to attack evil.

As they say “just do it” - step beyond this. What is shameful right now, frustrating and seems so hard to control will become distant memories that fade from recollection after you overcome this hurdle. There is nothing more humiliating than not having control over one’s own passions and body - and this is why God even permits them so we can discern that we can do nothing without His grace. Once you learn that then learn how to call on the spiritual gifts and grace He gives you - this stuff becomes small potatoes.

Pray daily for 20 minutes. I strongly recommend the rosary and/or the St. Michael’s Chaplet/devotion. God won’t let his own to be enslaved to disordered passions. Just pray right past it - God has much bigger gifts to give and wants you to move past all this.

God Bless.

James

 

[Cristian_B]

All the other questions you have have already been answered by other members.

1. Is the reason why masturbation and homosexuality are condemned because neither can procreate?

One of the reasons. But a stronger reason is that homosexuality is against nature and masturbation is spiritual adultery.