Thanks JkirkLVNV and everyone else for their (name removed by moderator)ut. It makes me feel good that my hopes for my friend may be realized. I’ll continue to keep him in my prayers.
I know my friend believed in God, but after that he pretty much didn’t have a formal structure of religious beliefs. He didn’t attend any particular faith, and I don’t know if he was born Catholic.
But ultimately, my friend was a person who cared for others he didn’t like people being taken advantage of. He was a people person, very intelligent, possessed many gifts. He wrote short stories, wrote songs, sang lead vocals in a band he started, was a have way decent artist. He had a great appreciation of music, movies, and books. Really, he was gifted. Wasn’t a sports nut, but was one of those naturally strong lugz.
He definately wasn’t graceful in any of the sports we’d play as kids, but in his uncanny way he got the job done.
But I know he was overcome by his demons. I realize know that as a kid he must have suffered terrible things in the form of abuse both sexual and physical.
About a year or so before he committed suicide, he had revealed to me and a few other close friends that he was bi-sexual. Or as we in the faith would rather say, he was leading a bi-sexual life. At the time I was just starting to find religion.
I had begun studying and learning a religion which looking back now had facets of protestant, Jehovah Witness, Mormon, and Jewish doctrines. I gladly admit today to people I was still able to salvage a relationship with, that I felt like I came out from under a spell. I thank God for bringing to the fullness of the truth.
Anyway, being that my friends revelation happened at the same time as my quasi spiritual awakening, I wasn’t the best friend that I could have been. I mean I remember telling him that I thought it was brave of him to come out and confront everyone with this secret that he had been hiding for who knows how long. I even remember that he told me that it was me who really drove him to come out and reveal his secret. He said that out of all the people he knew I was the one who would make him feel like such a hypocrite. It never hit me that whenever we get into conversations about homosexuals, lesbians and so on that this was behind it. I was really nieveI would always make good points as to why those life styles wouldn’t make sense to me, mind you at the time I really didn’t know much about religion.
But at the same time, I was still young, 24 at the time, and felt that what I was beginning to learn the truth I’d been searching for. I had super zeal because I sincerely thought I was pleasing the LORD, but lacked experience in so many ways that in my zeal I would scripturally cut people down.
In the religion I was a part of we taught strongly against homosexuality and other perversions. But when it came to consoling or comforting people to help guide them out from under their sins, I was fruitless in that aspect. I realize now that my state of mind at the time, the fire and verocity of how I preached to others, must have ignited or enflamed even more the inner struggles my friend ways fighting.
During that time I distanced myself not only from him, but most of the people in my life, whether family or friend it didn’t matter. I’m still trying to rebuild relationships that were heavly affected by this dark period in my life. I truly was in a cult.
So finally, I believe all this couple together with the demons tugging at my friends soul, ultimately helped push him over the edge. I was so far gone into the religion that I didn’t know what had happened. When I came to find out, I had missed the wake, and the burial. I foreve regret that. It’s something that I know can never be rectified.
In the end, coming home to the Catholic Faith has given me hope that by praying to God, Christ, Our Lady, the Saints, Angels, etc, my friends soul will be shown mercy, be forgiven and enter into my Father’s house.
Thank you all for listening to me. God Bless You All, and Count your Blessing for they are many.
Nelson
penWindow(‘cr/2280.htm’)
Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of.
