Questions and advice about NFP and Fertility Monitors

[kaws]

My father is Catholic and my mother is Presbyterian. I grew up exposed to both denominations. My husband and I were married in the Presbyterian Church nearly 10 years ago. At that time I had fallen away from the Catholic Church and my husband, while a believer who had been baptized Catholic as a baby, was not a regularly practicing Christian in any denomination. A few years ago my husband decided to join the Catholic Church and went through RCIA. We head our marriage blessed in the Church. Before we joined/rejoined the Catholic Church we used birth control pills because I had a very heavy and irregular cycle and the pill regulated it. Also I knew I was a carrier for a rare and very serious genetic disease but my husband had not been tested and I this was a concern. (He was later tested and is not a carrier)

After joining the Church we decided to start a family and stopped taking BCP. We conceived right away. Although we had a rough pregnancy (doctors were warning of hydrocephalus and asked if we wanted to abort) our son was thankfully born healthy and has been a great blessing. I breastfed our son until he was 18 months. It was my intent to take classes on NFP, but my period had not returned yet, so how could I track my “cycle”? On our wedding anniversary we unexpectedly conceived our daughter, who is now 5 months old. Although she was unexpected she is very much loved.

My husband feels fairly strongly that our family is now complete. He thought about getting a vasectomy but I talked him out of it. Now isn’t a great time to have another but perhaps we would feel differently in a few years and that option is so permanent. Also it goes against the teachings of the Catholic Church. My husband is open and willing to using NFP, but we still haven’t taken classes. I have been breastfeeding my daughter (5 mo old) exclusively and have not had a period yet, but I know that it is possible to ovulate and conceive before having a period since it already happened once before. Our marriage is strong, but I can literally count on two (maybe even on one) hands the number of times we have had sex since our daughter was born (I guess for two grad students with two little ones under 3 there is sadly little time or energy for sex.) Although I would like to be in accordance with the Church I agreed to use condoms until my period returned and we could accurately chart my cycle. (This seemed more acceptable than rushing into a vasectomy).

Lately I have been feeling a bit queasy and nursing is starting to hurt more (like it did when I was still nursing my son and became pregnant with my daughter). Could I be pregnant again?!? Am I just being paranoid? I haven’t taken a test yet. (I am definitely open to accepting God’s blessing of new life if I am, but it isn’t really a great time in our lives to have another right now and I hope I’m not)

Either way I am interested in knowing more about NFP. I have been praying and really feel like I’d like to be more in line with thye Church and stop using condoms. I am worried because my cycles were so extremely irregular before I was on the pill! Can NFP be effectively used while breastfeeding before periods have returned? Is it effective with irregular cycles? Would you recommend couple to couple or FertilityCare/Creighton method? (I have to admit I find the entire mucus checking thing a little bit gross)

What about fertility monitors along with NFP to help monitor fertile and infertile times? I know the FDA hasn’t approved any monitors for preventing pregnancy at this time, but there are several available from Europe. Does anyone have information or comparison about the reliability of these monitors? Which is better monitors like LadyComp or Bioself which monitor BBT, monitors like Persona that tracks LH and E3G in urine or monitors like OvaCue that track electrolyte changes?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!!

 

[joseph123]

My wife and I are in similar circumstances and as far as I know the best thing to do while you are breastfeeding is to abstain after your baby reaches 6 months until the return of fertility. My wife and I tried twice to practice NFP while breastfeeding and have 2 healthy babies from it. We were going to try and be more careful for this baby and use NFP but have decided to just not have relations until our baby is weaned and we have a couple of cycles charted. Sex was just really stressful and I was losing sleep worried that my wife might get pregnant again. We were tempted to use condoms but decided not to go against the church.

So for you I would recommend you stop using condoms and take classes in NFP. After you wean the baby and get a couple off cycles charted everything can return to normal.

 

[ChristinaM]

I’ll let the experienced moms weigh in on NFP while breastfeeding, but my advice is, get thee to an NFP instructor, stat! I think you may have some confusion about what NFP entails and taking a class will help you immensely. Your diocese’s office of Family Life should be able to help you locate an instructor. Alternatively, use the locator on www.omsoul.com to find someone in your area. People prefer different methods but I think it is best to learn whatever method that you can find an instructor for.

It was my intent to take classes on NFP, but my period had not returned yet, so how could I track my “cycle”?

No need to get your period before you begin charting. NFP is different from the “rhythm method” in that it is based off your day-to-day observations. You can observe your fertility signs straight away. By the same token, you can use NFP whether your cycle is “regular” or “irregular.”

My husband feels fairly strongly that our family is now complete. He thought about getting a vasectomy but I talked him out of it. Now isn’t a great time to have another but perhaps we would feel differently in a few years and that option is so permanent.

This is not intended as a criticism, but NFP is not “Catholic birth control.” It is very important to maintain that openness to life and recognize that while your husband thinks your family is complete, God’s plans may be different.

(I have to admit I find the entire mucus checking thing a little bit gross)

You’ve birthed two children, with all the messiness that entails, and you think mucus is gross? In all seriousness, I hear a lot of women say this. I think it is indicative of how we women have become so detached from our own fertility in this culture. It’s important to recognize that it is a NORMAL and HEALTHY part of our bodily function. It’s part of God’s good creation!

I practice the Billings method and we are actually discouraged from checking mucus internally. Billings method teaches you to be aware of the sensation at your vulva as you go about your day-to-day activities. We can also observe any secreted mucus when we wipe after going to the toilet. So it really may not be as bad as you think.

I can’t shed any light on the fertility monitors. My DH and I have been thinking about getting the LadyComp but $500 is a big investment. I also looked at the LH monitor but I’m not real thrilled at the thought of the internal probe. Do a search for “LadyComp” on the forums…some informative threads should pop up.

Good luck and God bless!

 

[sj2]

Hi,

Congrats on the little ones. I can imagine how you must feel–glad to accept a gift from God, yet scared you’re not ready for that gift this soon! (I say this since I had 3 kids in a 4 year time period).

My experience is a bit different from yours, but just in case something in it helps you at all . . . .

My experience: After baby #3 I fell into a pretty bad depression (nothing extreme, just a persistent blue period (no energy, sleeping a lot, crying) that I couldn’t shake). I did not want a fourth baby then. The thought had me huddled in a corner. My doctor signed me up for an IUD. As the appointment time got nearer I went into a panic. My DH (a non-Catholic) just kept saying he’d do whatever I wanted (sweet, but not helpful). I researched and researched. I panicked and panicked. 24 hours before my IUD appointment, I called up and cancelled. I felt like God gave me a “That-a-girl!!!” What a weight was lifted.

(Honestly I don’t remember what we were using then–maybe we fell to condom usage? Maybe I was just so down in the dumps that there was little to no romance??)

I immediately looked up NFP and fertility monitors. I didn’t trust myself to chart (nor did I trust my little ones not to find and destroy my charts). But I was determined to do things the right way from here on out. I bought the Lady Comp.

Although I breastfed until 12 months, I did not do the “ecological” nursing (I think that’s what they call it), so my fertility returned to regular when the baby was around 4-6 months. That’s right about when I ordered the LadyComp. We abstained until it learned my cycle and it’s worked ever since then (although we were quite cautious/conservative until I was done breastfeeding). I’ve had it for 10 months–works like a charm, is easy, and has taught me so much about my body.

I wish I heard about NFP long ago. It has been a gift, but I also recognize that I do not have some of the challenges that others do (irregular cycles, super-dangerous pregnancies), so I can only share my experience. There are no classes out here where I am from, but if there ever is, I’m signing up–I am in awe over my previous ignorance of my own body/fertility!

So, from my experience: Pregnant while breastfeeding? Yes, that’s how I have #3. Worried about doing it again? Been there, but got through breastfeeding #3 without a pregnancy. NFP? Big fan here–even my husband (non-Catholic) loves it. It changed our attitudes about kids, life, marriage, sex . . . LadyComp? Have it, love it.

Sorry I can’t tell you more; I’m sure a trained NFP teacher would have lots of info.

 

[kaws]

Christina, thank you for your very helpful advice! In my diocese I have fairly easy access to either FertilityCare (which I believe is Creighton method) or couple-to-couple league which I think uses Sympto-Thermal method. Do these methods overlap? I guess I’d like to know as much about how to read my fertility signs as possible.

No need to get your period before you begin charting. NFP is different from the “rhythm method” in that it is based off your day-to-day observations. You can observe your fertility signs straight away. By the same token, you can use NFP whether your cycle is “regular” or “irregular.”

I know that NFP has come a long ways from the old “rhythm method” and is much more effective and looks at fertility signs throughout the cycle. I guess I didn’t realize it could be used during breastfeeding if no ovulatory patterns had already been established to give clues about the return of fertility.

This is not intended as a criticism, but NFP is not “Catholic birth control.” It is very important to maintain that openness to life and recognize that while your husband thinks your family is complete, God’s plans may be different.

Actually when we were trying to conceive my son I found the idea and possibility of being filled with life associated with sex to be a HUGE turn on . Being open to life is a large part of why I talked my husband out of getting a vasectomy he worried (I think somewhat accurately) that I would not be as interested or satisfied if that aspect was permanently removed from the marital relations equation. I love my children and view children in general as blessings from God. If I were to become pregnant again we would absolutely accept God’s plan for life even if it were different from out own plan!

It honestly doesn’t seem like now would be a very good time to have another baby. Going through a high-risk pregnancy followed up by an unexpected pregnancy depleted our finances to the point we are up to our eyeballs in debt. Having not one but two babies in the course of grad school has I think frustrated my advisors a bit although they have for the most part been supportive. I feel like with nursing my daughter frequently I am less able to devote the time that I should with my older son. If possible I would like to stay home with the children until they are in school when I plan to return to the workforce. It is really stretched with just my husband’s income. I’m not sure how we can save to provide for college for our two let alone more children Is using NFP to try to monitor my fertility signs to attempt to space out another birth to a point if/when we feel better prepared morally wrong? especially if we are willing to accept life if God has other plans?

You’ve birthed two children, with all the messiness that entails, and you think mucus is gross? In all seriousness, I hear a lot of women say this. I think it is indicative of how we women have become so detached from our own fertility in this culture. It’s important to recognize that it is a NORMAL and HEALTHY part of our bodily function. It’s part of God’s good creation!

I guess that’s true regarding the messiness of the pregnancy/birth process , but actually I would like to learn more about my own body and own fertility. If I had more knowledge maybe I would understand the way God designed my body to work and why my cycles had been so irregular and be able to listen to my own body better.

Thanks again for your advice!

 

[kaws]

My wife and I are in similar circumstances and as far as I know the best thing to do while you are breastfeeding is to abstain after your baby reaches 6 months until the return of fertility.

Joseph, thank you for your advice!

My son nursed until 18 months. My fertility apparently returned sometime around 15 months before I had a period. I didn’t try to wean my son until I found out I was pregnant with my daughter (I had planned on weaning him at 24 months if he didn’t quit on his own). My husband and I had planned on nursing my daughter until she is at least a year old as long as my supply is still up and my daughter is still interested. As my daughter is now 5 months assuming she nurses to her first birthday and my cycle doesn’t return in that time it would be 7 months of abstaining. If my cycles didn’t return until 15-18 months like last time it would be almost a year. (but I could try to wean sooner I suppose)

I would be willing to abstian from marital relations until my cycles return. My husband and I share intimacy in many non-sexual ways, but would abstaining from marital relations for such a long time be fair to my husband? Would it be unhealthy for our marriage?

Without prying too much or getting too personal how has that aspect affected you and your wife?

Thanks again for your advice!

 

[kaws]

SJ Thanks for sharing your experiences!

I didn’t trust myself to chart (nor did I trust my little ones not to find and destroy my charts).

I can totally relate!

Although I breastfed until 12 months, I did not do the “ecological” nursing (I think that’s what they call it), so my fertility returned to regular when the baby was around 4-6 months.

I don’t know all the details of “ecological breastfeeding”. My daughter nurses exclusively and frequently. Our toddler and other duties prevent me from the option of afternoon naps with my baby (even if it sounds appealing ). Our daughter currently sleeps in our room (which makes night feedings much easier on me) but not in our bed with us. Our doctor warned us of risks of co-sleeping and SIDS.Also my husband is a very heavy sleeper and we both tend to thrash around a lot in our sleep so I don’t think it would be very safe for the baby!

I may have to look into the LadyComp. Can it detect the return of fertility while breastfeeding or would it need a few regular cycles before it can be used accurately?

Thanks again for your help!

 

[ChristinaM]

Christina, thank you for your very helpful advice! In my diocese I have fairly easy access to either FertilityCare (which I believe is Creighton method) or couple-to-couple league which I think uses Sympto-Thermal method. Do these methods overlap? I guess I’d like to know as much about how to read my fertility signs as possible.

Creighton, like Billings, is a mucus-only method, although with more specific terminology for describing the consistency of your mucus. Creighton has standardized descriptions while Billings emphasizes the importance of each woman’s individual pattern of mucus. STM uses mucus, basal body temperature, and cervix position. Some people like having the additional signs, some don’t. Mucus is the main sign for approaching fertility. Temperature is useful mainly for indicating that ovulation has already happened.

I know that NFP has come a long ways from the old “rhythm method” and is much more effective and looks at fertility signs throughout the cycle. I guess I didn’t realize it could be used during breastfeeding if no ovulatory patterns had already been established to give clues about the return of fertility.

Hmmm, this is a good point and I didn’t think about this. Some women do have a basic infertile pattern of sticky mucus and you’re right that BF could complicate that. I really hesitate to give you advice because I have never dealt with breastfeeding and NFP before. I know it can be a bit complicated. I think an NFP teacher could help you out more here.

It honestly doesn’t seem like now would be a very good time to have another baby. Going through a high-risk pregnancy followed up by an unexpected pregnancy depleted our finances to the point we are up to our eyeballs in debt. Having not one but two babies in the course of grad school has I think frustrated my advisors a bit although they have for the most part been supportive. I feel like with nursing my daughter frequently I am less able to devote the time that I should with my older son. If possible I would like to stay home with the children until they are in school when I plan to return to the workforce. It is really stretched with just my husband’s income. I’m not sure how we can save to provide for college for our two let alone more children Is using NFP to try to monitor my fertility signs to attempt to space out another birth to a point if/when we feel better prepared morally wrong? especially if we are willing to accept life if God has other plans?

Okay, I know someone is going to come in here with the proper Catechism citation, which I don’t have at my fingertips…but it is up to the couple using NFP to discern whether they have “just” reasons to avoid having pregnancy, while always remaining open to the possibility of new life. This is something that each couple needs to discern for themselves through prayer, but you certainly sound like you have good reasons to space out your pregnancies, and a positive attitude towards the possibility of God giving you more children. I’m in grad school so I can totally understand where you’re coming from with that…

 

[kaws]

I can’t shed any light on the fertility monitors. My DH and I have been thinking about getting the LadyComp but $500 is a big investment. I also looked at the LH monitor but I’m not real thrilled at the thought of the internal probe. Do a search for “LadyComp” on the forums…some informative threads should pop up.

I know what you mean about the cost , but I suppose if it gives us more information about our fertile and not fertile times as NFP beginners it might be worth it. What about the Pearly? It looks like a scaled down version for closer to $300? The LH monitor - is that the OvaCue? I think it has an oral probe and the internal probe is optional. The Marquette model uses the ClearBlue monitor, but I don’t think there are any instructors that teach that method in my area.

 

[ElizaE]

I use Creighton and I am a huge fan. I am a physician. I just started my pediatric residency a few months ago. You can imagine the stares I get from my fellow residents and physicians when I say that I use NFP. They usually stare for a while with their mouths hanging open and then they think that I am just really “lucky”. I then point them to Dr. Hilger’s research and let them know that the method effectiveness is 99.6% and use effectiveness in 96.4%.

You can use Creighton while you are breastfeeding. My instructor learned Creighton when she was breastfeeding. The core of the method is that you need basically 3 things to get prego: Ovulation, sperm , and favorable mucus. If you don’t have mucus, you are unlikely to get pregnant (like 99.6% unlikely) so it uses this sign mainly to chart your fertility. So even if you are breastfeeding, you can chart and use the rules to judge your fertility. I have had months that I chart and my mucus is good for nothing. I probably ovulate, but even if I wanted to get pregnant, I couldn’t. I noticed this happends when I am stressed out or when I switched from working nights to working days.

Good luck and find an instructor ASAP and take your hubby with you. The introductory session takes about an hour and you can start charting right away even with breastfeeding.