Questions around the decision to veil

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DeniseGalvan

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Hi everyone! I am new to this message board, so please bear with me.
For reference, I am going to give my back story. I will be as brief as possible.
The last two years have been very difficult for me spiritually. My family and I were presented with an amazing opportunity that I knew was my husbands dream. While the situation was not ideal for me, necessarily, I knew it would benefit my husband and I knew it would be a positive change for our three children. I prayed for months on whether or not making the move was what God wanted for our family, and I always heard “Yes.” So we moved. And I have been nothing but miserable since.
Cutting this short, I have spent a lot of time in spiritual reflection and I have begged God on bended knee to give me faith and help me be strong through what I now see as a test for me.
I have renewed my resolve and my relationship with God and have devoted myself to being His servant and putting His will ahead of mine, especially when it is hard.
I feel as though I am rambling, and I apologize.
So I am contemplating beginning the act of veiling at Mass. I haven’t made up my mind completely, but I am leaning to it strongly.
My question is: if anyone here veils or knows someone who does, how did they decide it was the right choice for them? I feel that this is likely a life long commitment, and I would love to hear the testimony other women have on this topic.
Additionally, would a woman who veils wear a veil at all times when she is in the chapel? For example, would it be appropriate to wear a veil to Confession or to the go through the Stations of the Cross?

Lastly, if you are inclined, please pray for my soul. Please pray that I can rely on God though this storm and that I can be the mother God intended for me to be to my babies. They deserve so much more than they are getting from me these days.

Thank you, and may God bless you- Denise
 
If you search the forums you will find about a million and five threads dealing with every possible aspect of this topic. For some reason they tend to go of the rails quickly and get shut down.
 
It is not a life time commitment if you don’t want it to be. It’s perfectly fine to put on a head covering for a couple of months, decide that it isn’t for you and then stop.

As to where you wear it, when you’re in the chapel, yes. I don’t really see people covering their heads outside (my grandmother veils, mostly out of a cultural reason as she’s a traditional Indian). But since veiling is not really a practice anymore, you can literally cover your head 24/7 and you would not be wrong for that.

This is an area where we have complete freedom over.
 
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But it can be overwhelming for a new person to try to find something to address her own particular aspects.

The last one we had actually was incredibly nice and positive. . .
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When to start veiling? Traditional Catholicism
This is the nicest headcoverings thread we’ve ever had.
grinning
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so maybe it might help?
 
Hey Denise! It’s really nice to read about your faith journey. Welcome to CAF. I haven’t been here long either and am likely not sticking around, but my own questions about head coverings are what brought me here recently too, as you can see from the posters above. Hopefully scrolling through that thread will be of some help to you! It certainly was for me - more than what I bargained for, hahaha.

What I ultimately decided on was inspired by this section of a recent newsletter from Lily of Veils by Lily. 🙂
Veiling as a Lenten Sacrifice

I encourage you to invite anyone who has been thinking about veiling at Mass to try it out as a Lenten sacrifice. Why a sacrifice? Because those of us who struggle with vanity need to “give up” our reliance on the opinions of others!

In this age of social media, where we look to “likes” and comments of approval from others to build us up, deciding to do something good (recognizing the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist) that others might misinterpret (“Who does she think she is? Holier than everyone else?”) can do wonders in our struggle to give up our reliance on the opinions of others.

What is the most important thing? Purity of intention. Knowing and always coming back to the fact that we do it for love of Jesus and Him alone. We intend to stand up for the faith that has been handed down to us from Jesus Himself (John 6:22-59), even when the Church herself has been polluted with the stench of sin and secularism.
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I have decided to start wearing my mantilla when Lent begins. It feels like the perfect time. I’d love to invite you to join me, as I see you really do feel called to veil!

As for your other questions about when wearing your veil would be appropriate, I am only in RCIA, quite new to the faith, and am afraid I can’t speak to those norms with much confidence. I plan to wear my mantilla during Mass and Adoration, and during my private prayer time at home. If you feel drawn to wear your veil during Confession and when going through the Stations of the Cross for purposes of humility or reverence, etc., then I think you should go for it! The decision is entirely between you and the Lord, ultimately, so don’t let the potential judgments of others sway you.

I encourage you, if you haven’t already, to read some of the fantastic information on Veils by Lily’s website, and sign up for her mailing list. I just purchased my first mantilla from a precious local family who hand makes beautiful and affordable head coverings, and they have some great resources too, namely their little “Veils” pamphlet.

All the best!
You’re in my prayers.
 
I did a survey once, collecting comments from several women who do and don’t, and compiled their responses into an article. This sounds kinda like what you are looking for:

To Veil, or not to Veil: *IS* That the Question?

Well, for starters, no, it isn't. "Veil" is the wrong word altogether, and if you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm referring to the tr...
daves-ahumbleservant.blogspot.com daves-ahumbleservant.blogspot.com
 
I am someone who veils at mass. Sometimes I wear a simple beanie hat if I’m going to the ordinary form in order to be less conspicuous, sometimes I wear a veil if I feel like it. I find I am more comfortable wearing a veil at the EF mass as most women there are also doing it. Out of all head coverings, I would say the veil helps my bond with God much more. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that it adds so much privacy; I am a very private person. However, during mass my face often takes on many expressions during prayer. Veiling helps with this because it hides your face pretty well as long as you pull the fabric forward.

I’ve never worn a veil to confession but I encourage you to if that’s what you want to do! Don’t be afraid to do what you feel called to do. I will pray for you.
 
Oh my gosh. That brought back memories for sure. . .

Because. . .Back before the forums changed format, I was/am “Tantum ergo”.

The two adorable grandkids are now 6 and 8, and I’m 62, the hair got shorter but the hats stay on!!

Also hopefully I’m a little less long-winded now.
 
Tantum!!! So good to hear from you again! 😃
I still love the perfect ending you provided to that article. I can’t believe how quickly time has ticked by, either! 😬
 
“Back before the forums changed format, I was/am “Tantum ergo”.”

I did not know that was you! 😊
 
Thanks for that info! I didn’t realize veiling was such a popular topic 😉
 
Thank you so much for all those links! I appreciate that so much!
 
Thank you so much for reaching out and for your sweet heart! God bless you!
 
paperwight said:
@DeniseGalvan

the veil it’s your personal decision whether you want to give more reverence to God or go along the people
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am sorry you took it in a wrong way i mean no offence if one is not wearing a veil ,my point was,one shouldn’t seek peoples approval to give reverence to God .if one wants to wear a veil what’s wrong with that ?,or if one doesn’t want to wear it’s fine, that’s their personal choice ,it doesn’t mean they are not devote ,the point is do what inspires you to do,it should not be based on people’s approval or peer pressure,rather than if one like it and feels they want to honor Jesus in this way what wrong with it?,it doesn’t mean if one is not wearing a veil they are not giving reverence or honoring Jesus>God Bless

Here is a Scripture reference if one want to or not ,its their personal choice.

1 Corinthians 11:10 For this reason a woman ought to have a symbol of because of the angels. 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man or man independent of woman. 12 For just as woman came from man, so man comes through woman; but all things come from God. 13 Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head unveiled? 14 Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair, it is degrading to him, 15 but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. 16 But if anyone is disposed to be contentious—we have no such custom, nor do the churches of God.
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1 Cor 11: 4-16. We have to understand between the natural order which is God’s, and the world’s. The world’s ways as we know aren’t always God’s ways, if ever …
We can ask ourselves, when veiling was practiced before, why and when did women stop practicing it? Is it not after the VCII when women got to have their ‘own way’, when they became powerful with their guild called women’s lib?
Truth is, at the VCII, they weren’t able to discuss this point of agenda.
But as St. Paul put it, “because of the Angels”, women should cover their heads in worship.
Further reading:
Chapter 16. Tertullian, Having Shown His Defence to Be Consistent with Scripture, Nature, and Discipline, Appeals to the Virgins Themselves

Herein consists the defense of our opinion, in accordance with Scripture, in accordance with Nature, in accordance with Discipline. Scripture founds the law; Nature joins to attest it; Discipline exacts it. Which of these (three) does a custom founded on (mere) opinion appear in behalf of? Or what is the color of the opposite view? God’s is Scripture; God’s is Nature; God’s is Discipline. Whatever is contrary to these is not God’s. If Scripture is uncertain, Nature is manifest; and concerning Nature’s testimony Scripture cannot be uncertain. If there is a doubtabout Nature, Discipline points out what is more sanctioned by God. For nothing is to Him dearer than humility; nothing more acceptable than modesty; nothing more offensive than glory and the study of men-pleasing. Let that, accordingly, be to you Scripture, and Nature, and Discipline, which you shall find to have been sanctioned by God; just as you are bidden to examine all things, and diligently follow whatever is better.

It remains likewise that we turn to (the virgins) themselves, to induce them to accept these (suggestions) the more willingly. I pray you, be you mother, or sister, or virgin-daughter — let me address you according to the names proper to your years — veil your head: if a mother, for your sons’ sakes; if a sister, for your brethren’s sakes; if a daughter for your fathers’ sakes. All ages are perilled in your person. – Tertullian on the website New Advent.
God bless.
 
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It seems to me (i.e., personal opinion) it smacks of lack of humility (“I wear a veil. I’m better / more pious / more pure… than you are.”) At least that’s the message I would receive. It may or may not be the message you want to send, but you should be aware there are people like me out there who will take it that way.

Why do something so public? I’m reminded of the story of the pharisees who prayed in front of the synagogue vs. the old widow at the back unobtrusively offering her prayer. Which did Jesus prefer? If you’re keen on doing something special, why not volunteer or donate anonymously, etc. etc.???
 
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I think that is a bit judgmental and a little bit of a blanket statement.
Erikaspirit16 said:
It seems to me (i.e., personal opinion) it smacks of lack of humility (“I wear a veil. I’m better / more pious / more pure… than you are.”) At least that’s the message I would receive. It may or may not be the message you want to send, but you should be aware there are people like me out there who will take it that way.

Why do something so public? I’m reminded of the story of the pharisees who prayed in front of the synagogue vs. the old widow at the back unobtrusively offering her prayer. Which did Jesus prefer? If you’re keen on doing something special, why not volunteer or donate anonymously, etc. etc.???
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Everything we do at mass is public- kneeling in prayer, receiving communion, lining up for confession etc. so to say that we shouldn’t do certain things in public at risk of worrrying that some people might judge it the wrong way… well then we might as well all stay home and not go to Mass at all and do all prayers and devotion in private. Just because there are people like you that take the personal decisions of others at mass the wrong way, doesn’t mean that others who want to veil out of reverence and humility should change their actions as to not offend people like you.
 
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