Questions for Anulment witnesses

[Nugsmum]

Just so you know the background story. . ,

My husband is currently going through the Anulment process, he is trying to become a catholic and attended RCIA from September until June this year. We were originally told by our parish priest that an Anulment was not required, since he had not been previously married in the Catholic Church. However, after posting on here and researching the matter further, it turned out that he did in fact need an Anulment.

Due to the misinformation from our priest, we did not submit the paperwork until November of 2016. We were then told by our RCIA coordinator that our diocese had a huge backlog of Anulment petitions due to Pope Francis declaring the year of mercy as a time to make the process less complicated.

Our case is just being looked at now, and the witnesses have just been contacted. They’ve been sent a document with 35 questions, most of which are asking very intimate details about the marriage which they feel they cannot answer. Let me just state at this point that the two witnesses are my husband’s brother and his mother, who are not catholic, in fact they do not practice any religion.

My question is, how do we go about advising them in this? They called us this morning in a complete panic as they cannot answer a lot of the questions. In addition, the marriage took place over 20 years ago so they can’t remember sone of the things asked.

What happens if they submit the form with gaps? Will the petition be denied if incomplete answers are given? We are all very worried about this. Any advice would be much appreciated.

 

[Horton]

They need to answer what they can answer. If they don’t know the answer they can write just that. I don’t believe a case would be denied due to not all the questions being answered. Remember the goal is to make a factual decision on the validity of the marriage not a find a reason to deny it.

Just tell them to at least acknowledge each question even they’re not answering it.

 

[Anne1964]

It is very common for witnesses to be unable to answer all of the questions. They do need to indicate that they don’t know the answer for each question they can’t answer. That way, it will be clear they didn’t skip any questions.

 

[pianistclare]

Right.
They can’t possibly answer what they don’t know.
Having said that, let them know that the process is confidential. No one outside of the tribunal sees their answers, so if they are simply skittish about answering tell them there’s nothing to worry about. They will not be quoted to any of the parties involved.

Best wishes.

 

[7_Sorrows]

They might ask for more witnesses.

 

[Nugsmum]

Right.
They can’t possibly answer what they don’t know.
Having said that, let them know that the process is confidential. No one outside of the tribunal sees their answers, so if they are simply skittish about answering tell them there’s nothing to worry about. They will not be quoted to any of the parties involved.

Best wishes.

Thanks for your reply. It’s not that they are skittish about answering them, it’s just that they really don’t know what to say. My husband is a very private person and did not discuss details of his failing marriage with them, or with anyone for that matter, although they could tell he was unhappy. They are not particularly supportive of him becoming a catholic and have said that they find the whole thing ridiculous.

 

[7_Sorrows]

Thanks for your reply. It’s not that they are skittish about answering them, it’s just that they really don’t know what to say. My husband is a very private person and did not discuss details of his failing marriage with them, or with anyone for that matter, although they could tell he was unhappy. They are not particularly supportive of him becoming a catholic and have said that they find the whole thing ridiculous.

I am going through the same process now and my witnesses were non-Catholics also
and since I am also a very private person, they knew some things, but not the whole story and were shocked at the type of information they were asked to provide.

 

[Horton]

Thanks for your reply. It’s not that they are skittish about answering them, it’s just that they really don’t know what to say. My husband is a very private person and did not discuss details of his failing marriage with them, or with anyone for that matter, although they could tell he was unhappy. They are not particularly supportive of him becoming a catholic and have said that they find the whole thing ridiculous.

The questions would more likely be ones that look at what was going on up to the wedding day. Things like were they both able to give free consent, were they open to having children, did they know marriage was for life, and so on. Things happening after the marriage can only be evidence of what was going on prior to the marriage.

 

[Peebo]

Thanks for your reply. It’s not that they are skittish about answering them, it’s just that they really don’t know what to say. My husband is a very private person and did not discuss details of his failing marriage with them, or with anyone for that matter, although they could tell he was unhappy. They are not particularly supportive of him becoming a catholic and have said that they find the whole thing ridiculous.

You do realize it’s not so much about your husbands failing marriage…the annulment has to do with whether the marriage was valid from the beginning…ie…were there any impediments to the marriage in the first place

 

[Nugsmum]

I am going through the same process now and my witnesses were non-Catholics also
and since I am also a very private person, they knew some things, but not the whole story and were shocked at the type of information they were asked to provide.

Yes, our witnesses are shocked too. It’s very difficult when they are not catholic. Especially in this case where they are actually anti organized religion. I believe that some of the questions are far too personal for any outside party to answer, catholic or not.

 

[Nugsmum]

You do realize it’s not so much about your husbands failing marriage…the annulment has to do with whether the marriage was valid from the beginning…ie…were there any impediments to the marriage in the first place

Yes of course I realize this. We believe my husband has good grounds for Anulment under canon law. But a lot of the questions do pertain to the marriage itself, not just the period prior to it.

 

[7_Sorrows]

Yes, our witnesses are shocked too. It’s very difficult when they are not catholic. Especially in this case where they are actually anti organized religion. I believe that some of the questions are far too personal for any outside party to answer, catholic or not.

I agree.

 

[pianistclare]

Yes, our witnesses are shocked too. It’s very difficult when they are not catholic. Especially in this case where they are actually anti organized religion. I believe that some of the questions are far too personal for any outside party to answer, catholic or not.

Think of it this way:

Would you want someone to make a judgment on your marriage or the state of your marriage without looking at facts or hearing from witnesses?
No.
If these people think divorce is no big deal, then I don’t see why they have a problem with questions. If they don’t know, they simply have to say they don’t know.
End of story.

 

[7_Sorrows]

Think of it this way:

Would you want someone to make a judgment on your marriage or the state of your marriage without looking at facts or hearing from witnesses?
No.
If these people think divorce is no big deal, then I don’t see why they have a problem with questions. If they don’t know, they simply have to say they don’t know.
End of story.

But they need witnesses that provide enough information in order for them to make a judgment on the marriage.

 

[pianistclare]

But they need witnesses that provide enough information in order for them to make a judgment on the marriage.

But if the people don’t know, they don’t know. They have to be truthful.
One can always give the names of other witnesses that are more agreeable to the process.

 

[7_Sorrows]

But if the people don’t know, they don’t know. They have to be truthful.
One can always give the names of other witnesses that are more agreeable to the process.

Some of us don’t have the luxury of having many witnesses to choose from due to the fact it happened 20-30+ years ago, people have died or have moved away and you have
lost contact with them. The 2 witnesses I had really struggled answering the questions because I am a private person and didn’t share my personal life with even my closest
friends. I don’t know if they were able to provide enough information for the Tribunal
to make a judgment.

 

[CradleJourney]

What happens if they submit the form with gaps? Will the petition be denied if incomplete answers are given? We are all very worried about this. Any advice would be much appreciated.

My advice is this - ask them to do what they can do. Do yourselves what you can do. Then leave the rest to God. I’m not trying to minimize the importance of the annulment, nor the stress of the ridiculous seeming process. But sometimes it helps to simply remember that all that one can do is all one can do. And God knows this.

If they don’t know an answer, they should just put that down. I suspect that often these questions are asked/worded to try to see if some detail can be provided, though depending on the nature of the person’s involved, the detail may not be applicable, nor may it be known. And I think they may be “form” questions with the same questions being asked of any witness where a certain topic is possibly relevant.

So again my advice, simply ask them to fill out what they can, answer “I don’t know” on the rest, thank them for taking the time to deal with what I’m sure they view as something ranging from silly to ridiculous and pray for God to guide the entire process and grant you all peace of mind and heart while waiting.

 

[pianistclare]

My advice is this - ask them to do what they can do. Do yourselves what you can do. Then leave the rest to God. I’m not trying to minimize the importance of the annulment, nor the stress of the ridiculous seeming process. But sometimes it helps to simply remember that all that one can do is all one can do. And God knows this.

If they don’t know an answer, they should just put that down. I suspect that often these questions are asked/worded to try to see if some detail can be provided, though depending on the nature of the person’s involved, the detail may not be applicable, nor may it be known. And I think they may be “form” questions with the same questions being asked of any witness where a certain topic is possibly relevant.

So again my advice, simply ask them to fill out what they can, answer “I don’t know” on the rest, thank them for taking the time to deal with what I’m sure they view as something ranging from silly to ridiculous and pray for God to guide the entire process and grant you all peace of mind and heart while waiting.