“Falling in Love” as a “matter of hormones and other factors” is not love, it is lust. Lust has a part in God’s plan to initially attract us to each other, and lust is not a choice. However, we can choose to love even if there is no lust, or attraction.
I agree. But love is not an emotion. Lust is an emotion, which we can’t totally control, which is why the idea of avoiding temptation is so important.
I agree that the choice to love is not the same as love. But you can choose to love someone, independent of lust. I don’t think anyone said anywhere that one should choose to love someone and call it job done. To put it a bit differently, we must continue to choose to love someone, in good times and bad, in good health or bad, till death do us part. That “continuing to choose to love” is not based on lust which diminishes after our spouse becomes bald or fat or depressed, etc. Choosing to love (or maybe it is better put “choosing to always love”) does not diminish because our hormones diminish, or “honey” isn’t quite so good looking as before. Choosing to always love is based on the will, which we have total control over.
Love grows through shared experiences, shared adversity (in many cases), and a decision by both parties to “continue to choose to love, no matter what.”
This is more for Dr. StA since Wanstronian is not theistic - God calls us to be perfect as the Father is perfect, to love as God loves. God does not “fall in love because he couldn’t help himself.” Neither does God fall out of love. God loves us by the choice of his will. God continues to love us by the choice of his will. We love God not because we are emotionally tied up in it, because we couldn’t help ourselves. We should, and can love God and his children (even our enemies) the same way he loves us - through the force of our wills, by choice.
Note: I’m still working on doing this, and I’m not very good at it.