Questions for Laicized Priests

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Good evening 🙂

I put up this post because I think that God is calling me to become a Priest. But quite honestly, I don’t want to. He’s been very consistent with me and there is joy and peace in it, but I don’t want to have to give up being able to marry someone special. I told God that I don’t want to become a Priest anymore. And that got me wondering, are there any laicized Priest out there who chose to stop becoming a Priest regardless of what God wanted them to do and are any of them really at peace and joyful about it?

Thank you and God bless.
 
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Hi, there are two things which I would like to address in my reply. First, your vocation crisis (which interests me) and also the bigger question about laicized priests.

First, one thing God doesn’t want is for anyone to suffer. When He calls someone to a certain vocation, it will bring the person He’s calling to happiness and peace. I suggest that if you feel He has called you, don’t immediately throw the thought away. Think on it, and pray on it with care. If this is your vocation, you can still be happy with Marriage, but you’d be even happier with the Priesthood. Think about the saints and Mary. When the angel appeared to Our Lady, Mary could’ve said no to what God called her to do, but said “yes”. As a result, she gave birth to the Messiah and was crowned Queen of Heaven and Earth. Think about what God wants, and not so much what you want.

As for the laicized priests, priests who are laicized aren’t necessarily lay people again. The Priesthood is an indelible mark, so the Sacrament of Holy Orders can’t simpy be wiped away. The priests laicized are still technically priests, but have had their responsibilities and abilities to say Mass, hear Confessions and such, taken away. So while they may act as lay people, they really aren’t. I have no clue as to what their happiness is.

If I may, I’m going to add one piece of advice here. If you truly do God’s will, there won’t be a day in your life that you’ll regret it.
 
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Your peace would be in His Will. But God surely won’t force you.

Have you went on a discernment weekend? You could at least “come and see”.

What a beautiful calling is when God invites a man to the priesthood. What an exalted vocation.
 
Why do you want to hear from laicized priests? Why not people who are currently in active ministry? I highly doubt you’d get any laicized priests to respond, at least not publicly. Usually they don’t advertise that they are.

-Fr ACEGC
 
As a layperson, I would ask that you kindly not become a priest unless you are very, very sure you can hang in there for the long haul.

When I was growing up I saw a lot of young priests who quit the priesthood, either to get married or because they just didn’t want to be priests any more, and it was disheartening. I know that sometimes stuff just comes up in a person’s later life that they didn’t anticipate when they were young and making lifetime commitments, but the idea of you already having ideas about possible laicization when you haven’t even become a priest yet is really off-putting.
 
_Catholicism said:
Good evening 🙂

I put up this post because I think that God is calling me to become a Priest.
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And you’ve determined this after going through through the necessary rigorous discernment process, and with the confirmation of your spiritual or vocation director?
 
Please don’t become a priest and think that there is a loophole for you to bail later and everything will be fine. Become a priest because it is your heart’s desire. If you are already in doubt that it is what you want, don’t do it. There is no rush.
 
Madable said:
First, one thing God doesn’t want is for anyone to suffer. When He calls someone to a certain vocation, it will bring the person He’s calling to happiness and peace.
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I’d re-think that. God allows suffering, it is part of the redemption of the world. Even Christ was not spared suffering, read the account of the Agony in the Garden. Christ willing accepted suffering, and we pray that we can reach the point where we “rejoice in our suffering”.

Christ promised peace, not happiness (at least not in this life). The peace that passes understanding, this means peace when others would not have peace. Peace in the midst of suffering, peace in the midst of storms (remember, on the boat in the great storm, the Apostles had to wake Jesus because he was sleeping peacefully through that storm).

We will be perfectly happy in heaven. We will not necessarily be perfectly happy next Tuesday.
 
I second what many said here, don’t become a priest unless you’re completely sure that God is calling you, otherwise you would be just another motive of scandal for the Church, like many priests who were ordained without true vocation and end up envolved with affairs and abuses.
 
_Catholicism said:
Good evening 🙂

I put up this post because I think that God is calling me to become a Priest. But quite honestly, I don’t want to. He’s been very consistent with me and there is joy and peace in it, but I don’t want to have to give up being able to marry someone special. I told God that I don’t want to become a Priest anymore. And that got me wondering, are there any laicized Priest out there who chose to stop becoming a Priest regardless of what God wanted them to do and are any of them really at peace and joyful about it?

Thank you and God bless.
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A vocation is not discerned by an individual in an individualist way, it is discerned by you as a person working with the Church. And those in the Church who work with you will have the charism and authority to help you discern. The fact that you are coming to the internet for these answers indicates that you are not intertwined with good spiritual direction, and if you don’t have that, you don’t really know what God is calling you to. A vocation will lead you towards being one with the heart and mind of the Church.

Who are you speaking to “on the ground” where you live? What does that person say about your questions?
 
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Irishmom2 said:
Please don’t become a priest and think that there is a loophole for you to bail later and everything will be fine. Become a priest because it is your heart’s desire. If you are already in doubt that it is what you want, don’t do it. There is no rush.
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That’s exactly what I was thinking. It’s like saying “I think God is calling me to be married, but I really don’t want to be married. So, are there any happy divorced Catholics out there?”

Planning ahead is worthwhile in many things, but we shouldn’t be plotting our escape before we even make a commitment.
 
I would echo what others have said. I would strongly recommend against becoming a priest if you think it is likely that you will be laicized some day. To become a priest thinking you will likely be laicized some day is a terrible idea. For these reasons…
  1. You’re setting yourself up for heartbreak, and setting up others for disappointment. You’ll disappoint many of your parishioners and other priests. If you do fall in love with some nice woman, she may have major concerns about having anything to do with you because you are a priest.
  2. While I actually believe it is likely to have viri probati married catholic priests within the US in 10-15 years (…as long as Pope Francis stays Pope for just a few more years…), the Catholic Church won’t be jumping to take back all the priests they’ve laicized. It is not human nature to do this. In fact, being laicized may end up doing way more harm than good if the rules change in the next decade or so and you want to be a married Catholic priest. They will have questions about your dedication…and rightfully so. Also, similar to the decision to make take an Anglican convert, the decision to take back a laicized priest will likely be financial. How will you support yourself?
  3. You have a voice right now…in fact you have a powerful voice. If you don’t believe celibacy is something you can do, don’t try to become a priest. If enough men behave in this way, the rule will get changed more quickly. By entering into a novitiate, you are giving tacit (i.e. understood but not stated) approval of celibacy. If you leave as a priest, your superiors will just think something is wrong or needs improved with your formation, the church you were assigned too, or the way they treat priests. This is the most reasonable thing to think on their part. Don’t give up your voice.
btw…I’ve seen very powerful testimony that in orders (e.g. the Jesuits or Benedictines) celibacy can be a very positive thing. What I’ve seen with diocesan priests is a mixed bag…
 
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In homily I heard the priest said something to the effect…“When I die God won’t care if I’m a Doctor, a Lawyer, or even a Jesuit…, they will care about the life I led.”

I’m just saying…
 
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In Heaven nobody is married, your occupation doesn’t matter. But those who were Priests remain Priests forever, even in Heaven, it is the exulted group. I don’t really know how else to explain it, perhaps a Priest on this forum could explain it for you.

It does matter the life you lived, your faith, your good deeds. I’m not saying being a Priest is a free card into Heaven lol. Im saying people married on earth aren’t married in Heaven. But priests on earth are Priests in Heaven
 
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You dont have to do what God calls you to do, but remember he is not calling you to do something for his own good or to punish you or make life hard for you. He is calling you to do something for your own good. He is perfect charity, nothing in his call is for him, it is all about you and for your own good, your salvation. So if you truly think he is calling you to be a priest it is for your salvation and is the best thing for you, trust him. So you should take your time and discern what God wants and trust him completely. This life is not about you at all. We are called to die to the self, take up our cross and follow Jesus. There is no hurry, pray and speak to priests who have succeeded in their ministry not those who have lost their way. Consult your spiritual director and pray more then pray again. God bless you
 
GospelOfMatthew said:
In Heaven nobody is married, your occupation doesn’t matter. But those who were Priests remain Priests forever, even in Heaven, it is the exulted group.
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I have a problem with the “it is the exulted group” part. It comes across as saying one vocation is higher than the next. To say that one vocation is higher than the next in Heaven is not at all Catholic teaching. There have been threads on this. For example…

https://forums.catholic-questions.org/t/is-the-priesthood-a-higher-calling-than-marriage/

Within this thread there is a link to what St. John Paul II wrote on the subject…
All vocations are born in Christ, and this is what is expressed by every anointing with Chrism-- from Holy Baptism to the anointing of the head of a bishop. This is the source of the dignity common to all Christian vocations, which, from this point of view, are all equal. They differ according to the role that Christ assigns to each individual within the community of the Church and the responsibility attached to the role. Great care must be taken so that “nothing is wasted” (John 6:12): no vocation should be wasted because all are valuable and necessary.
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From Rise, Let Us Be On Our Way, John Paul II (excerpt from, section “Vocation,” subsection, “Sacred Chrism,” page 37)…google it…it will take you right to google books and this section…

The point is all vocations are equal. Not only does he say this, he says no vocation should be wasted. Becoming a priest believing there is a strong possibility you’ll eventually be laicized certainly falls under the purview of a wasted vocation. In other words, spiritually, it does more harm than good…
 
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